How to Achieve a Healthy Balance Between Positivity and Negativity

The topic of positive thinking seems to have become a bit of a battleground, with some people saying it's toxic, and others arguing that it's helped them immensely.

I wonder if the concept has simply become misunderstood. It's not about always being positive, or refusing to feel negative emotions. It's about trying to find a healthy balance.

I've read a few articles about embracing negative emotions, so we can deal with the issues they raise. That's marvellous - if the issues can be fixed, that's perfect. Of course, if my husband angers me, then working it out with him is great, because we can clear the air and move on.

Trying to be positive is hard though, when life's not going your way. There have been times when I've read books on positivity but trying to practise it felt utterly futile. These days, I'm doing well, so by continuing to look for a bright side, I broke through eventually.

I'm also a relentless 'fixer'! I'm always trying to make things right. So I've acted on negative emotions to improve my circumstances. When I am able to change things for the better, it helps me develop a more upbeat and optimistic outlook. So for me, the positives and negatives work hand in hand.

Positive negativity

Negative emotions can be good, when they alert you to problems that need fixing. They can drive you to make positive changes in your life. And working through difficult experiences with a therapist or friend can be validating, enabling people to let go of the past and move on.

But negative emotions can also become overwhelming and unhealthy. Sometimes things can't be fixed. Sometimes you can't move on. That's when shifting your focus to see the bigger picture, or trying to focus on something different, something positive, may help.

It's all about balance

I don't think people who write about positivity expect us to be positive all the time. In fact, I think people who are positive all the time have their heads in the clouds. Some people are deliriously happy because they haven't got the foggiest idea what's going on!

But humans do have a natural tendency to dwell on the bad stuff, and sometimes, you can't fix it. Sometimes, you've got to just try and re-focus the mind so the negativity doesn't destroy you. And who knows…. if you can do that, then maybe things will work out better than you dared to imagine.

Yes, of course negative emotion is part of life. It's part of the human condition. But when it consumes you, it's not healthy. It's not dealing with anything - it's just tearing you apart.

We all need balance. So sometimes people can benefit from finding positives. And if some people think that's toxic, well, that's a shame.

I hope everyone can find peace and the life they want to live in the ups and downs of the human experience. Trying to focus on positives can be helpful, and yes, of course, there's a need for balance - for action to deal with difficult things in our lives.

Sometimes trying to find positives in difficult situations can help to shift your mindset and make you feel happier about things. But if medication or therapy works better for you, that's great too. Everyone's indivisual and we're all on a journey.

Good luck!

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Disclaimer: Those with clinical depression should seek medical advice, and may benefit from medication and therapy. Positive thinking doesn't work for everyone. It's just helpful for some people, so sometimes adjusting your mindset is worth a try.

© Susie Kearley 2022, All Rights Reserved.