How I changed my body mindset - and started losing weight!

I wasn't aware of how unhealthy my body mindset actually was until one day I woke up and realized just how many negative, awful things I felt and thought about myself.

I should give you some background. I went from being extremely active and fit a few years ago (running obstacle course races and weight lifting on the regular) to being thrown into a pandemic that required my life to shift in ways I didn't know that I wasn't prepared for. I was staying so physically active back then though that I couldn't see that I was unconsciously using it as a distraction and avoiding a lot of difficult parts of my mental and emotional health.

So, when I was forced to quarantine (along with the rest of the world), a lot of those uneasy areas burst through the surface and consumed me.

I fell into such a deep depression, which led to a lot of overeating, oversleeping, over-numbing. As 2020 came to a close, I began to pull myself up a bit and most things started to normalize as much as they could.

At the end of October, my husband and I announced that we were pregnant with our second child and we felt so unbelievably happy! I was a little worried because my first pregnancy had been rough, but this second time around ended up being so amazing. I felt great and my body felt strong. But once our daughter was born, I allowed myself to be thrown into a couch routine (what I mean by that is I started my day on the couch and ended my day there too).

Between establishing a solid breastfeeding routine with her and resting my pelvic floor (after a beautiful vaginal birth), I never left my couch. I'm surprised I didn't grow any roots from being planted there for so long. And like clockwork, before my husband would leave for the day, he would set up a TV dinner tray next to me and load it with snacks, drinks, remotes, chargers, you name it - to make life as simple as possible for me.

Then around the time that our daughter turned 3 months old, postpartum depression hit me like a truck. I ate even more and moved even less. Before I knew it, I had gained 40 pounds (and I was already 40 pounds over my previous weight when I had gotten pregnant - so 80+ altogether).

I knew that I wanted to take back control of my life, but I also knew I needed to do things differently than I ever did before. I needed to make sure that the new habits I would create would support me no matter what life threw at me.

So now you're probably wondering how in the heck I lost 25 pounds in two months and how am I continuing to lose?

The first thing I started doing: meeting myself where I was (without being judgmental). I kept holding my potential back because I couldn't stop comparing myself to where I once was. The truth was, I had to accept that I wasn't at that place anymore and I needed to stop associating shame to that fact. I could no longer run long distances or lift heavy or do crazy workouts. But instead of letting that discourage me, I did what I knew I could do. I began walking around my community. I started out slow and steady and as I got stronger and my endurance started improving, I would lengthen how long I would walk. Then as more time went on, I started adding in stretching and yoga. And soon I will be adding small weights back into my routine (still walking every day).

The next thing I started doing: feeling (not feeding) my emotions. I refused to go back to the habit of avoiding anything. I knew I was never going to be the person I was because what I learned changed me. I was capable of being even better. But that meant working through all parts of life - even (especially) the hard parts. When I feel happy, I embrace happiness. When I feel sad, I embrace sadness. When I feel nervous, I embrace nervousness. I talk about these feelings with someone I trust or I journal. But I never deny myself the opportunity to fully feel. This allows me to not associate any (and I truly mean any) emotions and foods together which supports me with intentional eating (eating when I am genuinely hungry and stopping when I am satisfied).

The last thing (and probably the most important thing) I started doing: stopped relying on motivation to come along and instead, started being committed to showing up regardless. Motivation is anything, but reliable and we waste more time waiting for it to show up. I never realized that being committed to just showing up is the first step to being committed to action. And we are the ones that do that, not motivation. It's not about being perfect. I still have to remind myself of this often. It doesn't take being extreme either. It takes making the choice to be consistent.

As life goes on, I am sure that I will have to adapt to some things, but I know that these three foundational habits will make sure that my growth will always go in the direction that will be healthiest and most long-term. I hope that they can do the same for you.

Remember...

1. Meet yourself where you’re at (without judgment).

2. Feel (don’t feed) your emotions.

3. Stop relying on motivation and start being committed to just showing up regardless.

YOU GOT THIS.

Hugs, Asia

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