Growing Up

On August 7, 2019 I made a heartfelt prayer.

I know that there are those that do not believe in God, and that is okay if that is how they choose to express themselves. However, I am a nontraditional Christian who continues to believe in a higher source of divine power. We use words such as divine to mean that they are not touched by the temptations and desires that come with humanity —i.e the desires to unintentionally or intentionally harm oneself.

I am 23 years old currently attending a college that allows me to pursue a degree in English and Professional Creative Writing. I know this may seem like a useless degree and maybe it will be when it comes to applying for jobs. However, I do not want to get a degree in something that I do not love. I want to be able to do what I want to do, as I am the one that will experience the consequences of my actions.

So back to that heartfelt prayer: I have asked the angels to help me cut ties with those who harm me. Namely, my parents, although it is indirect. I still love them and will keep minimal contact with them, but they do not meet my emotional needs like parents should. I keep giving my energy hoping maybe today’s the day they change, but they just do not know how or they do not care enough to. And that hurts. So I am now deciding to break up with them in the sense that I do not want to be as emotionally intertwined with them.

Do not get me wrong—they are not terrible people. They are hardworking individuals who are doing their best to meet their own needs. In this sense, I am stopping the need to rely on them for emotional support or approval when it comes to my life or what I do. They will no longer influence my decisions, and will no longer have holds over me. I need to become my own independent woman, and finally release any bitterness and resentment in my heart.

I think this is an important step—to finally release any negativity surrounding the past to allow for positive energies to come in. You do not have to be spiritually inclined to believe in the notion that if you only focus on the negative, you only get negative in return. This stems from the law of attraction and is a reflection of the action steps you take based on your current patterns of thinking. So take this message to heart: let the old go to allow the new to come to fruition.

I know this is hard. Since two lovely souls came into my life to shed light on my potential, it has taken me over a year to finally listen to what they had to say. This might seem ridiculous, and it is. That’s the truth. After purifying my mind, body, and soul through the help of a friend, I am finally able to focus on my future by concentrating on building the steps in the present. I call upon Archangel Michael to cut the chords between me and those that would harm me, through their own choosing.

Now I feel lighter. My steps have more of a bounce to them. However, this is not the end of my healing but rather the beginning of a long journey. But it is worth it for the growth and development of my own person. This way, I will be prepared to help those around me by paving the way for them. I think this is what I am meant to do with my writing—to record my personal experiences and share them with the world so they, too, can be able to move on from the bitterness residing in their own heart.

Xoxo, Aporia.