Grief may affect your appetite in several ways

Grieving is a process that is not one-size-fits-all but it can affect your appetite. When I got the news that my brother drowned in 1993, I went 24 hours without eating anything except half of a Kentucky Fried Chicken biscuit. I was in shock and had no appetite but eventually, I began eating normally again. The death of my husband of 40 years also affected my appetite but in different ways. At first, I did not have a desire to eat and family and friends kept telling me that I should. For the first week, I felt as if I had eaten a huge meal and was never hungry. I did force myself to drink water, juice, and eat a little but I could not consume food as I did previously.

I then went into a pattern of overeating where late at night I was devouring large bags of potato chips, sunflower seeds, and or cheese and crackers. I began drinking a lot of soft drinks which I knew was not good but I could not help it. Instead of cooking, I was eating a lot of fast food when I knew this was not going to be the best thing. I am sharing my story so that others will not think something is wrong with them and will understand that the grief process is vast. I don't like being out of control and I know overeating on junk food is bad. I also know that trying to force myself to abruptly go back to normal will not work.

This is why well-meaning loved ones should not try to make demands on a grieving person unless there is evidence they may harm themselves or others. There are options such as grief counseling or having your doctor give you medication and that is a personal decision. I have not chosen those routes and may never do so. Please be advised that as an individual you must decide the right way for you to handle this situation and no one else can tell you how to do it.

I am not offering any solutions but only letting people know that grieving a loved one can indeed affect the way you eat, just as a nasty breakup can do the same. Last night when I had the urge to overeat I simply went with it until it subsided. I ate oreo cookies, potato chips, sunflower seeds and drank tea, milk and soda off and on between 9;30 PM until 3:00 AM. I would fall asleep, wake up and eat and the pattern continued.

Today I have only had a cup of coffee and some pinto beans and it is 12:30 PM. I am drinking water and taking my nutritional supplements but do not feel hungry. I am also doing some things that I have been told will help. I am writing more which keeps my focus on producing a story that readers will appreciate. I am also writing articles like this one related to my grieving process. I adopted a cat from a local shelter and he is proving beneficial.

Animals can never replace people but they give you somewhere else to focus time and attention. my cat Boots enjoys sitting in my lap and being petted. Studies show that caressing animals can lower stress, blood pressure, and cholesterol levels. When the grandchildren come over we have been walking to a nearby park and spend an hour or 2 there 4 or 5 times a week. Walking, sitting in the sunshine, and getting fresh air are also beneficial for lifting the mood and bringing relaxation.

I must take into consideration that these things I am doing will not immediately "fix" my appetite changes or stop my grieving but in time I know they will be beneficial. I am going to the store later and purchase healthy snacks. I cannot overindulge on junk food if I do not have it in the house. I am, however, going to use wisdom and wean myself off of the unhealthy snacks instead of going cold turkey. If you find that your appetite does not return or that you cannot stop overeating please seek professional help because for some this may be the only route and that is OK. If I get to a point where I believe that will be necessary in my journey I will not rule it out.