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Ghosts of Fitness Past

When I reached into the trash for the unfinished pack of Oreos, I knew it was time.

By S.C. ClarkPublished 3 years ago 3 min read
5

I don’t talk about my upbringing (the hard parts) often. We didn’t know most people had plumbing, running water, or that folks didn’t hang blankets in doorways and windows to keep drafts out of the warmest room. We lived on what food came from the garden, eggs from the chickens, and the cheapest foods from Save-A-Lot (ramen, Vienna sausages, powdered milk, and canned foods). My husband looks at me like I’m crazy because to this day, eating cold veggies or beans directly from the can is my preference, but we only had a kerosene heater to heat food sometimes, and I didn’t like waiting or holding a hot tin can in my hand.

Food was my comfort and go-to once we were older because we had money for it. I played sports year round, a D1 athlete who was always bulky, but never understood what “diet” was because to me that meant restriction, when in fact it meant consistency and health.

Horrifying confession:

The day I reached into the trash can to open the Oreo pack which had several left after I threw them away in anger for eating most of them, I decided it was time (insert Eye of The Tiger song). With two kids under the age of 2, I had to make my health a priority from the inside out. I worked out inconsistently and truly didn’t understand how to eat what I needed, when to eat it, and how much was needed to keep my hormones in the right spots. Suffering from postpartum anxiety and not admitting it, not taking the medication prescribed because to me that meant I was failing at motherhood!

We were relocated to Ohio, my husband was horribly unhappy, I was unhappy, and food was both of our comforts at this point. The YMCA had a great childcare and I started working out daily again, but, food was not where it should have been for me personally.

We were relocated back home to Kentucky, and I finally decided to leave the Keto lifestyle that NEVER worked for me, and really dig into understand food. This required a complete rewiring of my brain.

Food is not a guilt method. Eating out is not a cheat day.

This all started with my friend on social media sharing an amazing group of women who worked out together. The group is called Fit4Mom. I missed the team environment of sports and decided to give it a go. Now, I am not a sweater, never have been. I can do sprint intervals on a treadmill for 30 minutes, go sit in the sauna, and maybe get a little sweat in the crease of my arms. But after ONE class, my sports bra was clearly outlined on my back with sweat.

That is all it took for me to be a believer, and the rest is history.

I am a mother of two children, a wife to a D1 and bowl game football player who now plays rugby (Lord, help me), and I wake up every day at 4:40AM to workout with a huge group of supportive women at 5:30AM on the other side of town. If someone told me I would be doing this, I would have laughed and walked away say, "pshhh, you cray!".

I no longer look in the mirror and wish for smaller arms, less thick legs, or a smaller waist. These arms hold and cuddle and can carry or push both kids at the same time. These thick legs can leg press 600 lbs and do squats daily like nobody's business... and this curvy waist carried two blessings full term, and my man loves me just the way I am. I love me just the way I am.

If you aren't happy with where you are now, you will not be happy with where you are down the road...no matter the progress.

Love yourself. Give your body grace. And remember it is a journey, with hills and turns, and it won't always be a walk in the park... but you can do it. Heck, if this barefoot lovin' country girl from the sticks can do it, YOU can do it.

body
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About the Creator

S.C. Clark

Former ghost-writer and blogger for some of the best, now writing my own stories with my own name.

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  • Carol Townend2 years ago

    I restarted fitness a month back, and I'm still doing it now. The hard part is my tum after having 6 children and a traumatic c-section. I'm not overweight, but I do exercise because I love it and it gives me strength. I love my food, though I go by a rule of 'everything in moderation rather than a diet, and although struggling at times with time due to being a full-time carer, I at least try to get one workout in a week in, though not routinely; its as and when I want to because that is how I motivate myself.

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