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Getting a good night's sleep

A list of different practices to avoid, and ideas to try

By Barb DukemanPublished 2 years ago 8 min read
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Sleeping is his hobby

Sleep never did come easily for me. Ever since I had my first child, my “mother ears” are on throughout the night, listening for every strange or familiar noise. My husband, on the other hand, can fall asleep anytime, anywhere, and in any position – sitting up, on a chair, on the sofa, etc. I’m not so lucky. However, I have gathered some solutions that often work for me. I need to be more consistent, and that’s one of my resolutions for this year. First, I’ll list the items to avoid.

1. Consume no caffeine after 4 pm. This includes coffee, the most common culprit. There are other sources you may overlook, such as chocolate, cocoa, energy drinks, black or green tea, dark sodas, and nutrition bars. Check the labels to see if caffeine has been added to your drink or food. You might be surprised where sources of caffeine are hiding.

2. Your computer and cell phone habits might interfere with sleep cycles. Blue light or glare makes it easier to see a screen at night, but it can trick your brain into thinking it’s daytime. Cell phones have settings for Night Shift or Blue Block. True Tone adjusts colors depending on the light around you; check your settings. Your prescription glasses can also be made with blue blockers built in to help you if you use depend on your computer for much of your day. Make it a habit to end computer/phone use at least an hour before your regular bedtime.

3. Drama. If you’re upset over a family squabble, irritating friend, or an annoying Tweet or FaceBook post, you’ll find it hard to fall asleep. Your mind will keep playing the issue over and over like a bad movie. Either resolve the issue before you go to bed or make a specific plan to address it the next day. Bringing mental messes to bed with you can keep those sleep sheep away. When I’m writing a story or essay, I aim to reach a certain point before I pull myself away. If I don’t, the feeling of an unfinished task looms over me.

4. Resist the urge to take a nap during the day. Unless it’s a 30-minute power nap, sleeping during the day may keep you from solid rest at night. I love a nap on a rainy or cold day, but I find it only interferes with my sleep quality at night.

5. Don’t go jumping into OTC sleep aids unless a doctor recommends it. Sedatives can be habit forming and shouldn’t be the first line of defense against insomnia or occasional sleeplessness. There are so many different things to try first.

There are practices I use to go to sleep; some are common sense, and some are just me.

1. When it came time to get a new bed, I tried out several until I found a memory foam mattress that felt right. I added another memory foam layer to reduce shoulder and hip pressure. Some people prefer adjustable beds, hard mattresses, waterbeds, or even a simple sleep wedge. Your bed may be the cause of bad sleep, so I’d suggest spending good money for a bed you’ll be spending a third of your life on. I also have at least 13 full-size pillows on my bed. As a side sleeper, I adjust them under my arm, between my knees, on the side of my head, and switch out warm pillows for cool ones. How does my husband deal with all these pillows?

2. He doesn’t. We sleep in different rooms because we both snore like dump trucks. Happily married 29 years, we have different sleep rhythms and habits. To unwind, he prefers staying up late with the TV on after a career with night shift work, and I absolutely hate having a TV on. In hotels, that’s where earplugs and extra pillows come in handy.

3. Speaking of light, I can’t have lights on. Window shades are drawn, light sources such as clocks or chargers are turned away or covered, there are no nightlights, and my door remains closed. When any light is visible, I can see things. Practical me sees things I need to do the next day such as laundry or cleaning. Paranoid me sees outlines of people who shouldn’t be there. Pure darkness allows me to concentrate on pleasant ideas that may turn into pleasant dreams.

4. Darkness applies to sound as well. I can’t have sound. There are no ticking clocks, music stations playing, and my phone is off. White noise sometimes helps me; my fan is always on. I also have a white noise maker that plays different static tones or nature sounds when sleep is particularly elusive.

5. Make your bed. There’s nothing like sliding into a made bed without sheet or blanket wrinkles. I’m not talking about wrapping perfect hotel/military corners or possessing beautiful bedspreads. I’ve gotten out of this habit since I retired, but now I’m getting back to it. I spritz a linen spray on top of the comforter, and all those pillows are neatly arranged. It invites me and just makes me want to go to sleep.

6. Scent has a strong influence on my mind. I use a diffuser with lavender or chamomile. Sometimes I can find an essential oil that says “Sleepy Time” or something similar. I had to experiment to find the ones that work for me. Getting back to doing this every night is a goal for me.

7. Melatonin is a supplement that supports the melatonin your body already produces. Sometimes our schedules are thrown off, we have jet lag, or we’ve had an extremely physical day. Remember the crazy idea that young children were “too tired to sleep”? That’s the same concept. Either your body or your mind has been overactive in the day, and there’s difficulty shutting things off. Melatonin can help regulate that.

8. Light exercise can be stress-reducing, allowing you to sleep better. Don’t go weightlifting or running a marathon; yoga, breathing exercises, stretching, or gentle core exercises can release tension. I started taking a belly-dancing class once a week (don’t laugh), and some of the moves are relaxing.

9. I enjoy a cup of hot herbal tea with honey at night. It has no caffeine (I checked), and the honey has soothing medicinal qualities. I use a Keurig, and it’s hard to find herbal tea K-cups at the store. I order my apple-cinnamon cups online.

10. Sometimes a warm shower helps me release tension from the day. My muscles relax and hitting a cool bed with clean sheets and a fuzzy blanket are comforting. I bring this blanket (a cover, actually) with me whenever we travel. Feeling its softness has a lovely calming effect on me. This Christmas I bought high thread count sheets; they are expensive but feel incredible.

11. Reading in bed can either work for you, or not. It depends on your relationship with books. I happen to love books. If I have a book that’s captured my interest, I may spend the night engrossed in that book; I once spent the night reading Beaches by Iris Rainier Dart only to spend the rest of the night ugly crying even though I had to work the next morning. I do have “boring” books on my nightstand, books that I’ve read before or have short unrelated chapters. Those sometimes do the trick.

12. Animals in the bed can go either way. Cats and dogs can be territorial and take up a good portion of your bed. Cats are notorious for their night-time antics. Animal hair can cause itchiness on the sheets or blanket. On the other hand, reaching out and petting your dog, feeling his breathing, hearing him sigh before he drifts off can be deeply satisfying. Studies have shown that petting your animal companion can lower your blood pressure as well.

13. Make an appointment to see your doctor. There may be other factors that are disturbing your sleep. You may have a physical condition that needs to be addressed. He or she may recommend a sleep study; it’s much easier now where you can do it at home without getting creeped out as unfamiliar people watch you fall asleep. I have sleep apnea and need a CPAP (when I forget, the snoring is rather loud, so I've been told). Those may be hard for some people to get used to, but it can be a literal lifesaver by allowing your body to rest and repair itself uninterrupted. The key is to give it some time. If one face mask is uncomfortable, ask the CPAP company what other options there are. I first had a device on my face that made me feel like Bane from Batman, and I felt suffocated as if I had a giant face crab holding me down. I now have what’s called a Pillow Mask that is a lot softer and less binding. Your doctor can also prescribe a different sleep aid if necessary.

In summary, restful sleep may be elusive, but not completely out of reach. Research some more ideas online to find practical options that appeal to you. So many solutions are out there; the key is consistency and the willingness to try something different. Sweet dreams!

wellness
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About the Creator

Barb Dukeman

After 32 years of teaching high school English, I've started writing again and loving every minute of it. I enjoy bringing ideas to life and the concept of leaving behind a legacy.

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