Eating Four Vegan Croissants

Dear Mother Nature,

Happy September. I praise you, and I want you to know that I get it. For some reason you have chosen to challenge me at the end, and beginning of every month with this PMS thing. It's so hard. I'm not sure why you chose me for this, but I'm dealing with it as best I can.

According to Garmin, I am supposed to get my period three days before I start my Janji: self challenge run. Please send me power and strength to rise above.

Peace, love, namaste,

Liberal Karen

THURSDAY

Meditated on my early bus to work with The Daily Shine:

• Alone time is empowering
• I give myself permission to rest
• I am slowing down and enjoying the moment
• I accept that I need to recharge.

FRIDAY

• Made vegan mac and cheese. Came out great.

• Eating four vegan croissants in less than 24 hours isn't a bad thing, is it?

• Woke up with bad headache. Ice, aspirin free Excedrin, took the morning quite slowly. Hydrated as best I can. Rough family conversation brought me to tears so I took a Klonopin.

• Was still able to get load of laundry done. Just sat and watched my neighborhood for the entire wash cycle. Athletic clothing, cold water only. Baking soda only. Line dried at home. Picked up a dropped off load as well.

OKAY SATURDAY, I HEAR YOU

• Woke up at 6am...whateverish. Put on a meditation. And then I rolled around in bed for the next two hours. Maybe I dozed off, but I'm not sure.

• In my head, I want to just go across the street to the weekly green market. It's corn and tomato season. But I just can't bring myself to cross the street. It's not even raining yet. That internal PMS shit storm has taken over. I recognize it, I'm aware of it, it's just not pleasant.

• Made a wild blueberry and watermelon smoothie, with turmeric, ginger, cayenne and garlic to start my day. It was fantastic. Using the rest of the watermelon to home brew tea. Added flax and cardamom.

• Little by little. Step by step. Small accomplishments.

• Then why the hell did I say out loud that I was going to run the entire length of the Brooklyn Greenway? What was I thinking?

• I have to tell you, I deleted my Shine meditation app today. Happy Not Perfect, and Headspace, they are each incredible in their own ways. Headspace was my first, so it has an extra special place in my heart. But the frustrating part is that they all have subscriptions. And I understand that they need to earn their keep somehow, like a theater company, or a food co-op. But a part of what gives me angst, is my lack of money, and the constant struggle to pay my bills. This is one of the main reasons why I meditate. But to only have access to a limited amount of content, and seeing that a majority of the meditations are locked because I don't have the extra dough, is not pleasant. I have some awesome meditation teachers and podcasts saved to my Spotify. That's how I shall proceed, for now.

From Shine via Spotify

Setting intentions to embrace a journey mindset:

How do I feel today? Premenstrual. Bloated. Tired. Hopeful. Cold and warm. Thirsty. Yearning to be free.

The move, the hope will help me move forward. Donating blood to remember others. Not giving it all over. Living within my own person. The blossom of creativity.

That customer who threw a stack of bags at me, because he refused to put his mask on. I just walked away. I have neither the time nor the patience to deal with someone like that. But to be able to return to tell a joke to the bystanders was fun.

What would it look like to be kind to myself? Freeing. Relaxing. New. Uplifting. Spiritual.

How do I challenge myself to keep my focus on the journey, and not the destination? Meet myself where I am? If I solely travel one single foot of the Brooklyn Greenway, my story will be about that one step, rather than the miles not traveled.

Waiting over 40 minutes. Worked hard today. Would like to go home. 3 AV/3 ST Buses en-route:

B37 BAY RIDGE SHORE RD via 3 AV

5.5 miles away (+ scheduled layover at terminal)

REFRESH (UPDATED 4:20:59 PM)

@TheBusses

Replying to @Me and @MyPublicAdvocate

Hi, Karen. Sorry for the wait - we're running as much service as we can with the amount of operators we have available right now. ^HKD

"No you're not."

@MyGovernor

Bus Stop: 3 AV/3 ST

Buses en-route: B37 BAY RIDGE SHORE RD via 3 AV

4.8 miles away (+ scheduled layover at terminal)

4:29 PM · Aug 23, 2020

Replying to

@TheBusses and @MyPublicAdvocate

Obviously I am sacrificial, not essential.

@TheBusses @TheAuthority @MyGovernor

3 AV/3 ST

Buses en-route: B37 BAY RIDGE SHORE RD via 3 AV

3.7 miles away (+ scheduled layover at terminal)

5.5 miles away (+ layover, scheduled to depart terminal at 5:15 PM

4:41 PM · Aug 23, 2020