Ditch the Guilt: The Benefits of Doing Nothing

"Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes…Including you." Anne Lamott

One of the worst aspects of depression is the nagging sense that you should always be doing more to fight it.

"If only I could do that… Why can't I just get on with this…"

This is especially pronounced when you're feeling 'low'; during those times, the volume of that scolding inner voice is turned up to a deafening 11.

In addition to already feeling deflated, and drained, thanks to that chiding inner monologue, you now have an added soupcon of guilt to wrestle with. "It's only depression; why can't I get my s**t together? Loser."

At such time, perspective is absent, because, in addition to eating away at your self-esteem, depression also skews your mindset. When you're 'okay', it's easier to tell that moaning voice to shut up; when you're struggling, it's screaming away like an angry toddler, and your emotional reserves are on par with the frazzled parent of the afore-mentioned toddler. You know that the voice is wrong, you know it's being silly, but you don't have the energy to quieten it.

Before long, you're wallowing in a muddy puddle of guilt, self-loathing, AND depression. It's a heady, paralyzing mix.

So, what do you do at such times?

As counter-intuitive as it might sound, nothing. That's what you do.

Nothing.

You read that right; don't do anything.

At least, don't try to on every occasion. You don't have to. Some days it's okay to do nothing. Especially if you're low.

Just as someone who is burnt out from working too many hours needs to spend the odd weekend on the sofa watching Netflix and doing nothing, if you're in the middle of a low episode, it's okay to kick back and chill. Recharging your emotional, and physical, batteries isn't being lazy; it's practicisng self-care.

Depression loves it (loves it!) when you're exhausted. Tiredness is depression's catnip. If you are run-down, it's perfectly fine to replenish yourself. And don't feel guilty for needing to take that time. The moment you start feeling bad for taking it easy you embark on a vicious circle of self-defeating hate that will only exacerbate your depression.

In addition to exhaustion, depression also loves guilt - it feeds on that like a hungry piglet gobbling down on… whatever it is that hungry piglets gobble down on.

Deprive it of that oxygen. Take some 'me' time, and ditch the guilt. You're ill and need time to recover. Take it.

Most of the things you're ignoring can wait. I'd never recommend having a nervous breakdown to anyone, but one of the few positives of mine was being able to see just how much I used to worry about was not worthy of the effort.

Really, so much of what we fret about isn't even trivial - in most cases, putting it off for 24 hours isn't going to bring about the End of Days. I doubt if it will make any discernible difference.

But resting for that time WILL. And then tackling those jobs when you're feeling slightly better will mean you do so more effectively.

Don't force yourself to do something when you're low knowing you can't give that task the attention it deserves. You'll only create another problem further down the line - delaying doing something is far less likely to negatively impact you than doing it half-cocked; repercussions lay in wait for you later.

When I look back over the years leading to my breakdown, I saw it wasn't so much the problems I faced that broke me, it was my responses to them that had scuttled me. The truth is, many of those issues were unavoidable - as not all of them were in my control, they were going to happen regardless of what I did. The real damage was caused by my mishandling of those problems, not the issues themselves.

Had I been stronger, and less mentally ill, I would have been able to manage those situations better. In fact, with hindsight, I can see that most of those problems were imminently solvable. However, I was very ill, and my perspective was all over the place. As a result, I only made those problems worse.

Not only that, I created even more problems later on; inadequately fighting one battle only means another front opens up in a different theatre of war.

One unsolved problem becomes two, becomes three…

They all feed into each other; before long, accumulation takes hold and your whole life is a raging bush-fire. For example, if you don't sort your finances out, a few months later your money troubles have polluted every aspect of your existence. Suddenly, you can't afford to eat healthily, or just have that one time a week where you socialize; in no time, your mental health has begun its long journey downwards.

I wished I had taken more time to kick back and replenish myself. Given myself a chance to recover, and rediscover both my energy and my perspective. Had I done so, those minor inconveniences could have each been tackled effectively, instead of becoming one giant dysfunctional ball of hurt.

Rest. Recover. Replenish.

Your inner voice is lying: You're not being lazy, you're not useless. You need to take a time out. Ignore it, and spend that time in front of Netflix, or whatever else floats your relaxation boat.

Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, a few hours, maybe even a few days. Including you.

Your mental health will thank you. So will your future self.

Sometimes doing nothing is the most productive thing of all.

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