Dating With HIV: How To Tell Your Partner You Have HIV?

Know Your Information:

Know Your Information because they don't know anything about HIV. They were probably never exposed to it. The only thing they know is what they learned from school. So they're clueless on what this thing HIV is, and you will be the first source of information. So if you don't know anything, how do you expect them to know anything about it? So make sure you have your facts straight, make sure you read up, make sure you did your research, know what your viral load is, know what it means to be undetectable, know what the whole U=U campaign is, know the results of the PARTNER study, just basic things like this will really go a long way. Because they will be asking you questions and it's going to be very painfully awkward. Suppose you don't have the answers to those questions. Now I'm not saying you have to know everything but just having a reasonable basis is a good start.

Be Confident:

Come in strong, know exactly what you're talking about, when you come in with confidence, people will follow you and trust everything. This is just life advice in general, I mean if you were spewing BS and you come in confident, people will follow you and listen to you, and you'll still be heard. And don't get me wrong, I know this is a tough tip because confidence just doesn't come overnight. You're going to have to practice, you're going to have to mess up, and you'll have to build on this confidence. I'm trying to make a huge point here, and I'm trying to emphasize that confidence is super important. First, off telling anyone, we need to talk freaks them out, and they're scared of what you're about to say. So that will never work.

So many other things wrong with this, you're already giving them a reason to feel scared, feel fearful, not understand what's going on, The more you dramatize it, the more they will be dramatically back a reaction. If you're cool calm collected, you know chill, then most likely they will also respond in the same manner.

Keep It Short:

Get straight to the point to not delve into your whole life story. Nobody got time for that. This is what's going to happen, and they're just going to hear HIV and blackout. So you only have a few precious seconds here to get in the most critical step. So this is where you need to prioritize what they need to hear, and I have HIV, take medication, and can't give it to you. The last thing I just mentioned there. I can't give it to you -- this is the thing that they're most fearful of like, am I going to get it.

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If I have sex with you and that's what they want to know. Once you get this sentence out of the way that's when they might start asking questions, they might start asking how you got it, or what's the whole story behind it, tell me more. I just always come in prepared assuming they're going to be shocked and I need to tell them, point-blank, this is what you need to know.

Just keep it short and sweet and then let them ask you more about your story.

Practice:

Have your Spiel ready, I don't care if you have to write it down somewhere. If you have to record yourself on your phone, if you go in front of the mirror to practice, even use your friends as guinea pigs and practice on them and see if they liked what you were saying. Personally, what I do is I wrote down everything I wanted to say and then condensed it.

I also recorded myself to see how my voice sounds like -- do I sound scared or do I sound like I know what I'm talking about. That's pretty much it for this trip there's not much more to it than just practice. I think it's just because this tip takes the previous tips and puts it all together for you to do the hard work. Practice makes perfect.

Be Prepared For Any Reaction:

I think the saying expect the worst, but hope for the best holds here. You don't know what kind of exposure people had to this and you need to put yourself in their shoes. I wish I knew this earlier because I grew up with HIV, it is so normal to me, and that's what I expected from everyone.

I just assumed they'd be okay with it. I quickly learned that's not the case great. But it's not like every day, and they come into contact with someone who is HIV positive like it's so unknown to them. They don't know how to react to that, whereas it's so typical for you. I mean, how would you react if someone told you they were HIV positive and you had no clue what that even means?

Naturally, they might be in shock, and they need to think about it, need some space, and digest everything. Please give space, and I cannot stress this enough. I wish I knew this earlier and don't feel bad or ashamed that are in shock. It's just an initial natural reaction. Only get mad at if they're still really rude, disrespectful, and disgusting a week later. You don't need that kind of person in your life.

Every person is different, so there is no one way of telling someone that you have HIV, making it more difficult. You have to read the person, how to chill they are you know, how educated they are on the subject etc., and of course, I feel you the more you're emotionally invested in someone. the more your emotions are at stake. Everything feels like it's on the line because that rejection is going to hurt a lot personally.

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