ChillBro Baggins

I don’t use any kind of THC, I don’t drink alcohol all that much, and I take Ritalin for an almost debilitating ADHD problem that wasn’t diagnosed until I was an adult and had already reaped all the consequences of not being able to focus on any one thing for more than a few minutes (no college for this cowboy).

My mind and body are often still abuzz with stress and chemical concentration when I get back home from work and need to unwind. Also, I’m often a real sleepy so-and-so in the mornings when I wake up. But meditation has improved these things. I am generally more centered than I used to be, less apt to anger at something dumb, and generally more energetic.

I won’t bore you with an ‘online cooking recipe’ level of needless back story (I reserve the right to retract this promise without warning), but the key points are these:

• I got into occult stuff in a far more studious way than I did when I was a Midwest white teen/small town edge lord.

• The requirements for the aspects of occult crap I’m into require sustained, concentrated thinking and meditation. There’s some study too, but good occult works are only good in the information they provide and are not, overall, entertaining reads. But that’s what the Ritalin is for.

So, since meditation is a key element of any decent occult occupation, I had to push aside my reservations regarding it and dive on in. A lot of people don’t often get past the meditation filter of esotericism for the same reason it took me several months of on-and-off practice before I was able to make it part of my daily routine: it is very boring. For people living in a world where any form of entertainment exists anywhere with an internet connection, with all these devices and their associated stimulations; sitting still with your eyes closed is very, very boring. To some, it proves almost impossible.

There are jokes about ‘I can’t be alone with my thoughts, but there’s a truth to that. It’s not so much that your thoughts are ‘dark’ or ‘scary’ (although I suppose they might be) so much as you become very aware of how little of anything your thoughts are. How little substance is in the signals bouncing around your brain or bouncing into your brain depending on your view of how consciousness works? It’s all television static that’s tricked you into thinking there’s something there worth thinking about. Let’s take a, I don’t know, pressure washer to all that conscious cacophony and get you to chill.

I’m not an essayist so I don’t know how ‘on track’ any of this shit is but here are simple steps to help you improve:

1. Without attempting to clear your mind, just sit still for 3-5 minutes at the beginning or end of each day. Whichever you can do regularly. Set a timer and sit, eyes open or closed (if you do eyes open, don’t feel bad about blinking. You’re not role-playing a rock), and just sit as upright as your body allows you to but not in an uncomfortable way. Being comfortable is important, so unless you’re already a pro at the lotus position don’t bother. I don’t. Use a chair.
2. After the 3-5 minutes gets easy, do 10. You’ll be doing 10 minutes a lot from here on out. You can always do more, but 10 is a good bottom line.
3. If you can do so safely, light a candle in a dark room. Sit close but be smart about how close you sit. Your hair is beautiful, don’t burn it off. With the 10-minute timer set, focus on the candle flame. At this point, you are just getting your body used to not doing anything so whatever you think about isn’t an issue, but if you can turn the volume down go ahead. But while you stare at the candle, you’ll need to practice getting breathing right. Slow deep breaths in your nose and out of your mouth. That’s it. If you can’t do a candle, not even one of those LED ones, try finding a room where the light can be made dim and have something like a picture or even just a sticker where you can focus your attention.
4. Here, you’ll want to stare at the candle and think about nothing – or as close to nothing as you possibly can. At the risk of sounding like a goon, make the flame the whole of your focus, the only thing on your mind. When you can easily sit and stare at a flame in the dark without significant movements or interrupting lines of thought for 10 minutes – I would ditch the candle. Steps 3 and 4 can be combined, obviously, but I did it as I presented it so, whatever.
5. Now for the whole eyes closed, breathing thing. There are different ways to do this but essentially it boils down to you transitioning from focusing on a candle to focusing on breathing. Eyes closed. In through your nose, focus on the air moving into your nose – visualize it as a sort of white smoke that moves into your body and grabs up all the stress and, as you breathe out, visualize that white smoke as a darker color. Like the white smoke has grabbed all your stress and is carrying it out of your body. If you want to take your visualizations a little further you can picture this grey or black smoke getting lighter as the Hexxus crap gets flushed out of your body. Do this for whatever amount of time you’ve set, and that’s it! Going forward you'll only need to do step 5.

As mentioned before, a ten-minute minimum is advised but you can always go longer. I do 15 minutes in the morning and at night –and on the weekends when I’m feeling wet n’ wild I’ll do 30 minutes. I recommend staying under 30 minutes a pop because you start getting into ‘falling asleep’ territory if you go longer – which depending on your circumstances might not be all that bad but that’s up to you. This is about you relaxing.

And since this whole thing is about a playlist, here are some crunchy grooves I like to sit still to. Maybe you will too.

A final word, I don't know what the 120Hz or whatever does, if it even does anything, but it's a nice tune. It's not a long playlist, but should do you fine. The point here is brief periods of meditative relaxation. I prefer listening to this same playlist over and over so that my brain isn't as interested in what's going on so it's easier to focus on breathing. Someday, you'll be able to focus on nothing - and in that nothing you will find peace.