Change

Change. Change can be a very big thing for a lot of us growing up, even when you're "grown" what do you do? Where do you go? When and old skin no longer fits what can you wear? Well? I find that we grow even more. We may no longer be who we once were but that means we can create something even greater. To let go of things that no longer fit. I think change can be a very good thing.

Change gives a chance to perhaps grow into who we always could be? It gives a chances to grow into new things, Things we might find we never knew we liked! New music, new games, new ideas, new adventures, new sights, new groups of belonging. But with change challenges can arise, like not letting our past try to consume our new paths. But that is where courage comes in. Finding the courage to grow and having faith in ourselves to make the right decisions for ourselves and actually growing into caring adults for maybe some broken parts of our pasts.

With most change things can be scary. "I'm not a kid any more?!" "Where do I go?! What do I do?!" Who can we go to for guidance? When the advice from old caretakers just no longer makes sense, I think the only thing we can do is grow up for ourselves. Change can take a lot of things, can even break somethings, but maybe if we find the strength to endure the storm we can come out on the other side stronger than we thought we were capable of. Maybe change can be the very thing we need. Change can shake you, leave you discombobulated, searching for answers but if you just come to a calm place, I believe the answer we seek are right there inside us waiting to show us the way.

Perhaps with changes great things can come, even if we can't exactly see it in the moment we cant trust it's there. For example, my Mom died of cancer about a year ago and a half ago... That crippled me. I couldn't barely function. Hell I'm still crawling out of the darkness, there are times the darkness gets a choke hold on me and I feel as though I can't escape, that I can't go on. But luckily, I was shown that things could change.. and that I can become the man she knew I could always become. Granted I was close to some long time dreams when it all began, and I crumbled under the words of others and I let my ego get it's grubby little fingers around my neck, and I can't actually go back, but I can choose to move in a better direction now. I know I'll still face challenges but I can get through it if I can just find the courage, to face the darkness and accept all that's happened and let go. What's to come? Something big, what does it look like? I can only imagine. Change is scary, but we can choose which direction we take. I'm no where near out of the darkness yet, but I continue to work towards creating a different future.

Change can make you vulnerable, but maybe change gives a chance to share our experiences and show us our true colors, maybe change can bring us closer together if we give in and let go, its never going to easy but it can be worth so much, to come to a great new place. Grow and follow your soul, it can guide you and bring you home.