Caring for your mother or father can be an emotional journey. It’s often pressurizing, stressful, and downright painful.
The father you once knew, the strong, confident and courageous figure you once looked up to and thought could do anything, can’t even feed himself without making a mess. It's awkward. It's uncomfortable. It's embarrassing for both of you.
Time changes people, and there’s not much you can do to reverse the situation.
But there are ways to deal with reality. Many methods, in fact. There are ways to care of yourself and ways to care of your loved one. Here are some tips to deal with life when you’ve got kids and parents to care for.
1. Self-Care
There is no alternative to self-care. The irony is that the people who need it the most often get it the least, because which busy person today has time for self-care?
Let me tell you what self-care is about. First of all, it's about treating yourself the way you treat those you love most. It's about baking special foods you love, doing what you enjoy, walking together and taking the time to actually see life as it passes you by.
Self-care is so important for anyone who is going through a stressful period in life, be it caring for an elderly parent, raising incorrigible teens (who you really do love at times!), or having a job that pays peanuts and works you to the bone.
It can even just be something to look forward to on those boring days.
But the bottom line is, it is what can give you the strength to care for your parents like they once cared for you.
2. Acceptance
Yes, it is painful. He is weak. He does bear little resemblance to the towering father figure he once was. And yes, it is frightening at times. But it's okay. This is life now. That which was once was beautiful, while it lasted. Now, we’ve turned the page onto a different chapter, and you can’t live the next chapter in the story of your life to the fullest if you keep reliving the one before. So, take a deep breath. Relax. Focus on the present. And never forget: Today is also a gift. Every second of life is precious! Use each day to the fullest.
3. Remember: It’s a Loss
However frightening it is for you, it may be all the more so for your parents. He may feel helpless, shamed, and vulnerable. He was always in charge. He was in charge of you! Now, you’re in control of his life. And that is hard to accept. He may react to the situation with anger or with sadness, and that’s to be expected. Just keep showing him and telling him you love him, and try your hardest to give him the most authority possible whenever it’s safe to do so.
4. Provide Him with what He Needs
There are many, many medical devices and supplies that elderly people can benefit from nowadays. There are mobility aids, incontinence supplies, medication reminders, and many other items that can be helpful to seniors and their caregivers. Do some research. Find out which products you can afford that will make you and your loved one’s life easier.
5. Research, Research, Research
There are low-cost benefits, Medicare, Medicaid, and more. Find out about all these programs. What kind of policy does your parent have? Is it the right one for him? Do some research, and find out all the details so that you can ensure that money is being spent wisely.
The above tips are the first five things to know when caring for a parent. Care for yourself, accept the situation, remember how your parent feels, give them what they need, and do your research. All these steps are so important when it comes to caring for your parent’s needs as competently as you can.
About the Creator
Emma G
Emma Gill is a passionate writer & guest blogger. Writing helps her to improve her knowledge, skills & understanding about the specific industry. She loves writing & sharing her knowledge mostly in the health industry.
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