Breath In...

Breath in.

One, two, three, four.

Hold.

One, two, three, four.

Breath out.

One, two, three, four.

Hold.

One, two.

And relax.

There is a myth concerning an ancient art. A myth that says you are to gain complete control of or somehow stop your thoughts. To that, I say codswallop, and I’ll debunk that falsehood right now. Whatever you do, right now, do not think of a pink elephant. You read that correctly, do not think of a pink elephant. Now, ask yourself, what are you thinking about?

You: What am I thinking about?

Your mind: Well, a pink elephant, of course.

And 9/10 times, that’s an accurate statement.

I pose this scenario not to confuse or manipulate you but to show you something even simpler. Thoughts are not something you can control, change, or interrupt. Thoughts are something that spring up out of nothing. The definition says “an idea or opinion produced by thinking, or “suddenly occurring in the mind,” and that describes the idea of thinking. However, thoughts, well, thoughts just are.

They pop in and out of existence about 6,200 times a day, and most people don’t even realize that simple fact. What are thoughts made of? Where do thoughts come from? Why do we have so many? Why do we have them at all? Well, some of the thoughts we have helped us survive. Like the thought, we have about breathing, our heartbeats. This is a series of thoughts that happen on the subconscious level. These thoughts happen behind the scenes, unnoticed.

Those other thoughts, you know, the ones you notice too much. Those thoughts are always happening. In fact, they are happening as you’re reading this. You may be thinking about the events from today, laundry this weekend, your last meal, or an episode of a show you’ve been watching that was supremely underwhelming. The truth of the matter is that the questions of “What are thoughts?” “Where do thoughts come from?” or “Why do we have thoughts?” don’t matter. Thoughts will be with you throughout your existence. That just a cold hard fact, jack.

One weekend three years ago, a friend of mine suggested I go to a three-day retreat. A program called S.K.Y. It took some convincing, but eventually, I agreed, bought my ticket, and showed up on the following Friday evening. The building I arrived at looked like a small temple located in a part of Washington D.C I had never visited until now. Yet, for a strange reason, it felt unusually inviting. When I entered the space, I was instructed to remove my shoes and then guided into a room no bigger than an average family room. Five rubber mats were splayed across the hardwood floors, and the waning sunlight spilled in through each of the impressive windows. I was in awe of the serenity that washed over me as I sat down on my mat.

Finally, everyone was present. A man and a woman, who I assumed were of Indian descent based on their mannerisms and skin tones, sat in front of the group. The man closed his eyes, took a deep inhale, then asked us all one question.

“What does a thinking mind do?”

There was a quiet that spread throughout the room. The man and the woman looked around the room, smiling. Their smiles weren’t creepy, but, somehow we all knew we didn’t need to answer. Finally, after a few extended moments of silence, the woman spoke.

“A thinking mind thinks.”

The answer was so simple, yet at that moment, it felt so profound.

From that moment on, we got into the basics: breathing, remaining present, and the seven layers of man. We were preparing ourselves to engage in a very ancient practice. A practice that has recently gained a vast amount of popularity, in my opinion at least. You probably have already figured out what practice I’ve been alluding to. If you haven’t, let me remove the veil. It’s called meditation. Now there are several different opinions on the practice, and that’s okay. Meditation isn’t for everyone, but this is a particular type of meditation called “mindfulness meditation.”

Mindfulness is “the quality or state of being conscious of something” or “the mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment” I like the second definition better. Human beings are the only creatures alive that can dwell on the past and worry about the future. These concepts can create thought patterns that are detrimental to many areas of our lives. Mindfulness meditation has been a key factor in not controlling or eliminating those thoughts but accepting them. That’s where the myth lies. “I need to control my thoughts” or “I need to stop thinking” I am more than happy to tell you that no, my friend, you absolutely do not.

Follow me on this train of thought. Imagine you are a traveler, and you are walking across whatever country you live in with one large suitcase. On the way, you find yourself walking on a busy road or highway with lots of traffic. You have walked all morning, and you decide to sit and rest. You use your suitcase as a seat, and you are facing the roadway, watching all the traffic whiz by. You are amazed by all the different vehicles on the road and how quickly they are all moving.

Suddenly, a car appears on the road that catches your eye. It’s the new model of your favorite sports car, and you can’t take your eyes off it. It’s so enticing that you follow it with your eyes all the way down the roadway. You are almost in a trance, and nothing else around you now exists. As a result, you pay no attention to the several other cars that have stopped in front of you and offer you a ride. This is what happens to people. The roadway with all the traffic is your mind. The cars or other vehicles are all your thoughts. In this scenario, the traveler is you because as a human, we can watch our thoughts. The traffic on this road never ends, much like all thoughts you have running rampant in your mind. Those drivers offering you a ride are often the thoughts that will positively move your life forward, but we become so caught up on one train of thought (the sports car) that we don’t see any other possibilities. This is why I meditate.

“When you are watching the traffic, your eyes may catch that car, and you may even start to follow that car. This is when you return your focus to your breathing. There will be many cars that pass along the road. Let them pass, keep your breathing steady, and be present.”

This is mindfulness meditation. As a mediator, I don’t seek to control my thoughts or stop them from happening. Instead, I let my thoughts be. They come and go, of their own volition, and I acknowledge their presence, accept their energy, and let them pass. The past dwells in your memories, and the future lives in your imagination, but only the present truly exists. Mindfulness meditation grounds me in the present, so I become even more grateful for that I’m living right now. Thoughts will come and go, but the present moment has endless possibilities.

This is what brings me inner peace. This is the art of doing nothing. The art of peace. This is meditation.

Now, sit or lay in a comfortable position, drop your tongue from the roof of your mouth, and relax your shoulders. When you’re ready, you can begin your practice. Follow along now.

Breath in.

One, two, three, four.

Hold.

One, two, three, four.

Breath out.

One, two, three, four.

Hold.

One, two.

And relax.

Let’s talk about some of the thoughts you had some time.