Adult coloring books and gel pens

I’ve done it. I’ve purchased one of those “adult coloring books”, complete with gel pens.

First of all, who decided to call them “adult coloring books” in the first place? I was a little nervous to open my first one since I wasn’t sure of what was going to be in there (but figured that since I was in a Paper Source I would probably be alright), and was relieved when I opened it and simply saw hundreds of very tiny flowers and intricate designs.

Fascinating stuff.

In Undergrad, my friends created a little coloring “nook” outside of our dorm rooms. I can’t take any credit for it, but it was awesome. Set up on top of an ironing board that hadn’t fit well in one of the girl’s rooms, there were coloring pages printed from the internet, coloring supplies, and scotch tape. When we were done with a page we would often tape the pages up above the board. It didn’t happen a lot, but occasionally there would be coloring parties. A particularly memorable “party” was right after a boy I had been dating broke things off and my family dog passed away within a matter of two days. There were a lot of dark colors on that particular coloring page, I think. I miss that coloring nook and those girls a whole lot.

I’m not an amazing visual artist. My Nana and Grandpa were, and the “visual artist gene” is definitely in my family, but I’ve always been pretty content with drawing stick people and sloppily coloring pre-existing pictures.

A friend had shown me her “adult coloring book” and I’d been hearing about them an awful lot, so I decided to give it a try. I plucked one off of the Paper Source shelf, grabbed some gel pens (OH MY GAWD, GEL PENS, I REMEMBER THESE!!), and placed them in a corner of my room all set for the moment for when I might need some “coloring therapy”.

Yesterday, the “adult coloring book” was opened. Now, at first it was great fun, mostly because of the gel pens (I HAD FORGOTTEN HOW EASILY THEY GLIDE ONTO THE PAGE AND THEY’RE SO PRETTY!). Pretty soon, though, I was getting really frustrated. I was a half hour into coloring and I had only colored one plant. There were so many layers to each thing and I was getting pretty overwhelmed in dealing with all of that detail. Pretty soon I was just turning pages and using the gel pens to color over all those stupid lines. That didn’t look as nice, however. In my haste to get something finished, I had created a puff ball of pink on my page where there had previously been an intricately designed flower. I got really frustrated, closed the “adult coloring book”, and called my mom.

Life is rough. Especially in this “post-Grad” phase of life, I’m in a hurry to figure things out, get things done, and create color. I would like my whole page of 27 years old and beyond to be filled with beautiful colors but instead, I feel stuck in a flower that has eight layers to it and I’ve got to carefully fill in all of the blue color before I can move on to the gold. I hate being patient, I hate being still, and I hate trusting God that periods of transition and stillness are valuable. It’s hard for me to learn how stay in the hypothetical flower and try to focus on what I could be improving about where I am at the moment instead of freaking out about the hypothetical ten layer tree to the right of the hypothetical flower. I’ve learned that it’s just best sometimes to admit when something is hard. I know that I’m not alone with this and that we all have “flowers” that we’re stuck in and “trees” casting shadows from the right. Transition is hard. Waiting is hard. Trusting is hard. Finding that “coloring therapy” is representative of your life is hard. ;)

I am a very visual learner and this silly “Secret Garden” coloring book helped me to see what my brain has been doing. I’m thankful for little life “eye-openers” like this one and family and friends who listen to my rants. I’m thankful for a God who is the ultimate artist- thank goodness I just have to focus on using that stupid hypothetical blue gel pen right now because I couldn’t possibly color the whole hypothetical page on my own. I’m thankful for hypothetical things that point to a bigger picture.

It might be a little while before I pick the “Secret Garden” coloring book up again (and hey, if you find those things relaxing, that’s wonderful-maybe in a few months I’ll find it relaxing again too), but let’s raise a cup of tea to learning to rest in the moments of life that we’re in. It’s hard, but I believe that with a good gel pen, good company and faith, we can do it!