Acceptance

We’re humans. Not slates. We can never start over. We can never be clean. The etchings of our past will forever mark our minds. We’ve even seen that on a global scale over the past year--countries still struggling with a collective history that paved the way for what’s unfolding now. But that doesn’t mean all is lost for us. My favorite thing about being alive is having a fresh opportunity each and every day to change the way I live. And what’s the first step to changing what you can control? Ironically, it is accepting what you cannot control. Simply accept life for what it is, and the rest will follow.

In terms of wellness, in these ‘unprecedented times,’ my main concern is my mental and emotional health. I need to be able to look at myself in the mirror and know I’m okay. This isn’t how I wanted to spend my twenty-second year on Earth, but it is what I have. I am lucky to be alive and well and conscious of it. I don’t live where I want to live or work where I want to work. I don’t make the money I want to make or have all the time I want. But I have a roof over my head, a home where it’s warm, and I have food on my table, and I have friends that make me laugh. I will accept this reality and accept that it’s not changing for a little while. I am getting comfortable living inside a hiccup. This little pocket of time that shouldn’t exist--it’s mine now. I’m going to make the most of it.

What will be, will be. There’s no changing that. We are here in these bodies on this planet in this particular section of time. Grief is on your path to acceptance; you don’t have to deny yourself grief. It’s okay to not be okay with where you’re at. But until you come to terms with it, there’s no moving forward. If you don’t know where you’re standing, how can you continue?

This mindset is what keeps me going and makes me better. Instead of going on a guilt-driven quest to eradicate the ‘old me,’ I accept her for all that she is—embrace her—and when you care, suddenly you have a lot more motivation to change. When you love the curves and stretch marks on your body, suddenly it’s much easier to do your exercise in the morning. When you change your mind about the natural texture of your hair, suddenly that extra time conditioning in the shower isn’t so bad. When you take the time to be grateful for all the little things you have in your life, suddenly it isn’t so hard to live.

This is my pre-resolution. It is where every pursuit of self-improvement begins, the seed from which it grows. If I want to slim down, change my hair, revise my routine, kick a bad habit, acceptance is the jumping-off point. Keeping an open, accepting viewpoint allows for a gentleness that regular resolutions lack. It promotes self-forgiveness and maybe even confidence. If you know something in your life isn’t okay and you want to change it, what would you rather your first step be? A harsh ‘we’re going to fix this immediately, no ifs ands or buts?’ Or an easy ‘it’s okay, I understand why things are this way, but now let’s look at where we can go from here?’ After all, one of the most important steps of setting a SMART goal is to make it realistic. Make it easy and even fun to pursue. Do something for yourself that you want with your body and your heart, not just your mind.

Let’s face facts: 2021 is not looking much brighter than 2020 from the jump. We’re all still stuck at home with a deadly virus and political catastrophe roaming mercilessly outside, and there’s almost nothing we can do about that. But we have what we have. We have each other. We have ourselves. We have this day—a chance to reshape ourselves from what we are into what we want to be. Honestly, you don’t need a January 1st to change your life. A January 10th or August 17th will work just fine. You are whole. You are human. You are beautiful. Accept this as the truth, and build upon it.