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5 Things I've Learnt About Myself Since I Started Working Out

Or: the magic of taking a Joy-Focussed approach to fitness

By Damini KanePublished 3 years ago 4 min read
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I’ve had an up-and-down relationship with exercise. I’ve spent most of my life hating it and resenting myself for not having an ideal (read: highly unrealistic and airbrushed) body. That mixed with an intense sweet tooth always left me feeling scared of working out. The chances for failure were so darn high. I had stints where I spent time at the gym, but I always ended up binging on sugar afterwards, as though to reward myself, and I was always mad at myself for not working hard enough to get the (toxic extreme) body type that I so desired.

But I’ve managed to get into a fairly regular workout routine since the pandemic struck, and I’ve learnt so much about how to respect myself. All in all, I’ve finally started enjoying the process of working out and I look forward to it every day.

1. Your Body Is Not Separate From You

We often talk about our bodies as though they’re separate entities, just vessels through which our brain travels the world. I often think we see it as a car that you can exchange for a better one, if only you work hard enough. This, I think, leads to a very thorny view of ourselves. If our body is just a possession that we are separate from, then we are free to abuse it and bully it into submission. After all, things don’t have feelings, right?

I’m slowly building myself out of this mindset. My body is not separate from my mind. It’s as much a part of me as my soul, and I need to treat it kindly. If I miss a workout or am just too tired to push through, I can forgive myself by understanding that my body probably needs a bit more rest. And that’s perfectly okay. If I’m sore, or in pain, that’s something I should address so that I can feel better. It’s not a commentary on the usefulness of my body, because it keeps me alive and it deserves respect and understanding.

2. Eating Healthy Does Not Mean Eating Sadly

A lot of us (me included) have a difficult time with food. So much of it is built into our society. We either seem to eat too much or too little, and everything we eat needs to be “organic” or “fat free” or “low carb”, otherwise it’s toxic and bad and evil. That’s absurd!

Food is food and indulgence is a good thing. Food doesn’t exist just to fill our stomachs, but also to give us joy. I’ve often taken a very moralistic approach to food--believing that certain meals are just “bad” while others are “good”. A lot of us do this (hence the phrase “guilty pleasure”).

These days, I focus on eating nutritious food that is also tasty, with protein-rich, heavy breakfasts and light lunches. I also allow myself to enjoy a sugary snack now and then, without letting myself feel any sort of remorse for it. I’m eating to be healthy, but I’m eating for happiness, too!

3. Finding Exercises That Work For Me

The internet is a magical place, with lots and lots of options to choose from. I realised that a big reason why I seldom enjoyed working out was because I just didn’t enjoy the exercises I was doing. Honestly, doing reps in a gym is pretty boring. I’d always liked swimming, but I seldom did it (and it wasn’t an option in lockdown), but stuck at home, I discovered a cornucopia of workout routines to try.

From dance workouts to stretching routines, HIIT, and cardio like jump rope, I became obsessed with trying out new styles of staying fit, and quickly learnt what I enjoy. For instance: I didn’t know how much I’d enjoy stretching until I just tried it! Now I stretch three times a week, for anywhere between 15 minutes to half an hour. I love HIIT workouts, which are refreshing and fun. Jumping rope is an excellent cardio workout that can fit into any schedule because even 10 minutes of it can get your blood pumping.

Going forward, I’m going to incorporate more weights into my workouts, and I’m curious to try ballet-inspired workouts (even though I can’t dance!), just because I think it would be fun.

4. The All or Nothing Mentality is Toxic

I used to think that if I missed a workout or even a week of workouts, that I had failed, and there was no point. I’ve since realised that’s a really damaging outlook. Missing a couple of sessions here and there doesn’t do any harm, as long as you get back to the grind whenever you can. What’s more dangerous is the extremes of “I need to do 100 push ups every single day” and “this is a waste of time and I’ll never be fit”. There’s a middle ground here and that’s where the satisfaction lives! I no longer beat myself up over missing workouts, I just encourage myself to keep time aside for exercise whenever I can. It takes the pressure off being perfect, and suddenly, it’s way less intimidating!

5. Motivation Creates Itself

I’ve realised that the more consistent and committed I am, the more I’m motivated to work out. I’m more eager to learn new types of exercises, or push myself to get stronger. I will say that it’s hard to stay motivated all the time. There are days when I just want to lie down and do nothing. And I think it’s okay to take a break now and then.

On the whole I think I’ve developed a healthier attitude to exercise. My mindset has changed from a self-punishing one to a more positive one, where I try to embrace my needs and forgive myself for not living up to impossible standards set by society. And I’ve finally started to enjoy working out.

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About the Creator

Damini Kane

This is just a pocket full of words.

I write about books, fitness, beauty, and travel.

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Twitter: @DaminiKane

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