5 Elements: Fire

“Sky above me. Earth below me. Fire within me”. I have always loved this quote, but have never admired it to the extent I do with the continuous knowledge I receive from this course. Fire is correlated with summer, a time I would typically spend on the beach drawing me closer to my happy place: the ocean. Summer is a time of joy; playful in the sun. Red is its color, making me think of something very interesting. At sixteen I moved out of my mothers house, into my uncles…after a year we moved into a new house where I was given the opportunity to make this new room mine. I had never really connected to the color red, but for some reason I felt the urge to color the walls a deep, passionate red. It created a blissful mood that I had never experienced before. Naturally I think of the crackling of a fire when it comes to sound, but I understand why the sound correlated is laughter. I connect it to when my partner makes me laugh…it is this bubbly, rosy cheeked, joyous laughter that I don’t get from anyone or anything else. He ignites the fire inside my laughter. Odor has been the more difficult for me to relate to. I know scorched is the obvious smell for fire, but I found it difficult to think of burning in relation to joy. Then I thought of the smell of fresh cut cedar burning in the fire pit…or the smell of matched blown out; both simple pleasures that ignite joy within me. This brings me right into fires emotion…joy, or the lack of joy. Looking at my current relationship we go through different phases of fire. There is that passionate, sensual fire that keeps us together. The fire that sparked when we first met and continues to grow, making us stronger. However, being a relationship of two years there are times I find fire in the sense of anger. It is still a form of passion, but it looks a lot different. There are times we both have a strong sense of self, we hold true to our individual passions that sometimes conflict with the others. Finding a balance of both is what makes our relationship healthy and able to continue to grow.

The fire element has four officials, but we will focus on the first two. First, we find the heart; the “supreme controller”. The hearts job is to remain empty in order to receive energy. It is necessary to have an open heart in order to receive constant flow of energy within a healthy live. In other words, a healthy life needs an open heart…able to receive and let go of whatever energy life is throwing our way. Personally, I tend to believe I have an open heart, but I am beginning to see that I do in a very different way. I have a very open heart, that has trouble letting go. It is very hard for me to shake intense emotions. I guess I do carry a very heavy heart. Secondly, we have the small intestine; “separator of pure from impure”. The small intestine is the heart’s right hand man. It sorts out the impure from what will actually serve us. So in order to keep your heart clear for the flow of energy, the heart needs help identifying what is truly digestible. I have struggled with stomach issues, particularly with digestion since I was very young. So bad that even with medication that was supposed to clear me out for a colonoscopy couldn’t do its job. It has caused me a lot of pain and frustration with something I love very much; food. I also have a habit of justifying things that do not necessarily serve me, but I have trouble letting go of.

These patterns in my life are becoming more and more apparent and I am excited to see if I am able to make changes to benefit my journey on this earth.

There are two more important pieces of the fire officials that make the element whole. These two do not have specific organs; instead they work to serve all. They are referred to as the heart protector and the triple heater. Both intimately work to serve the heart and harmony within the body.

The heart protector, or circulation sex, does exactly what its name suggests. It is the hearts armor, protecting from insult and injury. It circulates warmth and joy throughout. Unfortunately, the first connection I made to understand this thought at a deeper level has to do with my mother who is really cold. Physically she has anemia, which causes her to feel cold most of the time. She was also very emotionally cold toward me most of my life. She had a very traumatic childhood, which I may never understand fully as she is not very open about it, but I understand this has some to do with her relationship with me. She also had a miscarriage in between my brother and I that destroyed her to the point of not wanting another child; I came along two years later. Her heart protector had worked on over drive for so many years that her fire was scarce to non-existent in my lifetime.

The triple heater is also referred to as the triple warmer or the heating engineer. This is what is in charge of harmony and balance within the body’s temperature. It is homeostasis. I think of how when someone is embraced their face turns red, and when you are embraced it probably has to do with a lack of confidence, conviction…fire. Or when you are really sad and the only thing that seems appealing is a warm hug…or hiding under a fluffy blanket. When you need warmth and joy your body is telling you in so many different ways.

On a personal note, I feel I have spent my life taking blows and my heart protector is feeling a bit exhausted. I feel it has taken away from my ability to feel protected. I have been dealing with my brothers constant battle with his heroin addiction for about twelve years, amongst other things. I had to fly home because we didn’t know if he would make it this time. I know what it looks like when someone fully looses their fire…I have found my brother blue. Fortunately, he is recovering and off to receive further help. Unfortunately, I learned that I lost a friend, and had two others in critical condition while I was back east. I do not have any fire left, there is no presence of my heart protector…and my heart does not know how to take all of these blows.

Nor is it getting much help from the triple heater. I am one to always feel cold, always need to have a sweater handy. My hands are always clammy…it is like my internal temperature is confused. I think I really need to work on getting in touch with the fire within me. I feel depleted and fearful, especially because I don’t usually have so much trouble balancing life’s obstacles. I think I have just faced a little to many in such a small period of time for my fire to have any fuel.