33 Pounds and Counting

Hi! My name is Jennifer and this is my journey to a healthier me. I say journey because being healthy should never stop. This is my story of how it began. My hope is that I can inspire and motivate you to either start your journey or give you encouragement to keep on going.

One day, when my daughter was little, she wanted to play in the water. It had been a while since I had put on a bathing suit and I was anxious to try out my new one. When I put it on, I was really shocked to see how much weight I actually put on. It was no surprise that I was fat, but I just didn't pay too much attention. I put a t-shirt over it. I didn't want anyone to see me in a bathing suit as I walked out of my house.

At the time, green coffee pills were all the rage. One night, I decided that I was going to try them. So, I took the plunge and ordered them online. Back then, I didn't think that I could lose weight by myself. A few days later, they arrived at my house in their shiny new package. I started taking them that day.

The weight came off. Over six months, I had lost a total of 50 lbs. My self-esteem shot through the roof, because I was so skinny. I looked great. I fit into a size 16 jeans. That was skinny for me. I've got large hip bones. I am sure a size 14 would be fine, but any lower than that and I might start to look really unhealthy. Men were starting to notice me as well. I had gained a confidence that I never had before. I was happy for the first time in a long time. It was power in a pill bottle.

What happens when you decide you don't need them or they become too expensive because your circumstances change? I'm sure you already know. It was gradual, but eventually, I gained the weight back. I was at my heaviest at 222 lbs, 17 lbs heavier than before I started taking the pills. A number I thought that I would never see. As the story goes, I hated how I looked. Not a day went by that I didn't want to hide from everyone. I got married to the love of my life who does not care how much weight I gain as long as I am healthy, but there's that inner voice inside my head that reminds me of the woman I used to look and feel like. I want that back.

Last year, I started working at a gym. Physically, it was the best thing for me. It did, however, come with its share of heartbreak. It was the first time someone called me fat. There were other things that people said, but it's all the same. I just grew thicker skin, eventually. I should have stood up for myself, but I was terrified of what would happen next. I should have spoken up. I was just afraid that no one would believe me. I was just cleaning the gym. Nothing really important. Looking back now, I know I was wrong for thinking that I had no voice. We needed the money. I stayed quiet, at work at least. I just want to point out that I met a lot of great people there as well. So it wasn't all bad all the time. Just a few bad apples. After a while, I didn't work out because I was hurt and angry. I worked out because it made me feel good.

After the first week of working there, I used my hour lunch to work out. Since it was open 24 hours, I came in early as well, to get an extra 30 to 40 minutes. Low and behold, I started losing weight. It became my new pill. I am now down 33 lbs. I am glad that I made it this far and hope to lose even more. I have recently quit there, but I don't need them. I have myself and the confidence to see to my goals.

Thank you for reading my story. I have compiled some memes that I have found on Pinterest that I have really loved through this journey. I hope that they spark you to keep moving.

Success is small efforts repeated until it becomes a habit.

Note to self: You gotta do this for you. This is for you. this isn't about anybody. Live for you. Honor you. Never lose sight of that.

Goal weight: Sexy as f**k.

Do whatever it takes to make you feel real again.

Don't stop until you are proud.

It's the will. Not the skill.

Make them regret the day they called you fat.

"Thank you for attempting to dim my light so that I needed to burn as bright as I could." - Anonymous