What Kind of Feedback is Life Giving You?

That is darn right. It is not what happens to you, but how you respond to what happens. The magnitude as to what is happening for us on a daily basis does not always make sense, and you wonder "why me?"

If you are experiencing a multitude of positive circumstances; then it is only natural for life to not feel like you are being tested. You feel tested when things are not always going your way. This is done to help recalibrate us, and to be grounded and in a state of equilibrium. The simplest of all life hacks - the aim is to have things going your way, yet life is also about things heading in a different direction. Life is a mentor. A teacher. Karma, and the things you have to experience. Being rejected means that there could be bigger and better for you around the corner, and/or perhaps that rejection saved you from yet another unwanted and unpleasant future life event. You can and do have a say in this. In a way, we signed up to be here in this place and experience called life, with the body and gifts that we have been given. It does not matter who you are, and what you do with your life; you deserve to eat sushi for dinner every single night if you want to.

It all makes sense, because according to The US National Council, around 70% of the total US adult population have experienced trauma at least once in their lives. Great things can happen to cause people to land into those statistics, as well as the downright unpleasant.

What is happening right now? That is a valid question to ask. Then you might be inclined to grab a blank piece of paper, and draw a circle smack bang in the middle. Then you divide the circle into a pie, where each life area represents a slice of that pie. That is, one slice for each area as follows: Health. Career/business/work. Family/relationships. Friends/recreational. Spiritual. Financial. Then you put in a dot (or an asterisk) as to where your life is at right now, on an imaginary scale of 1-10, where a 1 out of 10 would be closest to the epicentre of the circle - where things are not going so good, while a 10 would be right near the outer edges of such, and you perceive your life to be absolutely fantastic in that area. The idea is to then connect all of the dots; no different to a dot-to-dot. This will leave valuable clues as to how balanced the wheel is, and specifically, what that wheel of fortune in like in your life right now. Some areas might be too charged up, while others need some more breathing space.

How is this feedback serving you? That is a logical and sensible question to be asking next. When you are onto a good thing; something (definitely) happens to slow you down, in order to stay grounded, and hence not get too ahead of yourself. Not so great events and circumstances are not always there to test you, but rather to swerve you in a different direction, and/or to pay attention to other areas of your life, of which did not feel as balanced on that wheel of fortune.

For example, the sale of a property recently that yours truly went through, with some abundance on the back of that. That abundance is not making the recipient of such any better than anyone else; but rather takes the pressure off of having to produce, so that other areas of life can be focused upon. One major positive win after another of a high magnitude actually caused me to wind up in hospital for a few hours last weekend, even though I was smiling throughout that entire experience. That was the payoff from virtually everything turning into gold. Heaven forbid, my heart rate was hitting the roof, and therefore I was forced to rest, and to slow my body right down. That is humility.

Overly positive charges can be our downfall, and can quickly turn into something on the negative side, and that is a shock for highly optimistic, caring, and driven people.

After you spend a bit of time (as much as you need, and as often as you need) reflecting on how all forms of feedback and results in your life is serving you - whether wanted or unwanted; the next step is to think about what adjustments are you making as a preventative measure? For example, so to not repeat that hospital mistake; more time out in nature has been prescribed, as well as taking some natural supplements, so that my health does not come at the expense of an ever growing business. I appreciate that it is often easier said than done when making such necessary adjustments; yet how important is your life to you as a whole? A few minutes a day is enough for your life to depend on steering it in the right direction, and to do everything in your power to stay grounded. It does not necessarily mean that meditating is the order of the day; yet the latter comes highly recommended.

When you respond and not react to all feedback, from a bout of anger to a smile on your face; simply know that your limbic brain is wanting to work with you to clear out some old childhood, generational, and other traumas. Those who worked (or still work) in the military or emergency services for example, have a higher negative traumatic charge, and therefore need to spend some more time in cleaning that all out. No different to a houseclean when spring cleaning and/or in decluttering the home.

How do you access the limbic brain, you might be asking? When you check in, and you know that you are not feeling good; take as long as you need, and/or are able to do this: please sit down immediately, in a comfortable seat. The sofa will be ok, yet it is important that your spine is straight. Even if you despise meditation, you have to get quiet, and shut that busy, monkey mania mind down. You simply place one hand on your heart, and the other on your stomach. Now the time has come to take a deep breath in, and then let it deeply exhale in a clockwise direction from your nose right down to your stomach. It helps to gently cross your ankles - but not your knees. This was a gem from trauma counselling that has to be shared in these up and down times. Keep going for as long as you need. Your body will know when to stop with that cycle of breath.

Negative emotions (in other words setbacks, and even trauma) needs an outlet to be processed; otherwise the head will have to deal with it; and normally the head is too rational and does not want to do that. Therefore, your heart will have to process that trauma. If not the liver will be super busy in processing that, as well as the food you eat, together with the environment around you. Given the choice, the limbic brain only has that specific function, while the livers job description is way more extensive. This is how yours truly would prefer feedback to be processed.

Of course, we can reframe a negative situation to turn it into something positive; yet it is calmer and easier to process it through accessing the limbic brain through a simple and deep breath work technique that anyone can do. If you are not comfortable doing this on your own; that is where breath work practitioners can serve a specific purpose. It is easy to stuff down the feedback that we do not want to hear in life; yet all forms of feedback are coming into your awareness, and into your life for specific reasons. It does not matter what the reason is, yet it is responding to what has brought us here thus far, including our respective baggage and traumas that want to leave us; yet there is never such a thing as a free lunch. Follow the steps, and engage in some breath work. If you find something else that is relaxing you; the important thing is to move that body with presence when there is a strong charge, and you are not feeling too good. This could include dancing. Whatever resonates. The idea is not to escape, but rather to feel the feels. When you are tired, this is why many people find solace and/or a second wind when they walk among the trees, and/or barefoot in the sand. If yoga or meditation is not your jam, then find something else quiet and active to do, of which will calm that monkey mind down. Then be open and receptive to that feedback. You've got this. Tread your own path.

Note: The author is a Certified Life Coach and NLP Practitioner, who has simply decided to take the path of being a freelance writer and designer.