Time Travelers Can Make Money Through Influence and Product Placement

As you know, one of the difficulties with being a time travel inventor is that everything costs money. It costs money to get the electricity to power your inventions, it costs money to provide adequate shielding against temporal radiation, and it costs money to get dressed up right for the past in a way that won't get arrested for indecency or, worse, witchcraft. Everything, in fact, is expensive!

And in this chaotic world where everything costs, you have to always be earning; everything you do has a cost, and everything you do should have a revenue stream — that is just good time traveling.

And it is for this reason that we at Illuminati Ganga are excited to announce a new way for you to contribute to our research! And when I say "take," I mean you will pay us and receive something of value in exchange! Does that sound right? Then let's get this party started!

Your product can be promoted in places it has never been before — the distant past, the far future, alternate realities in which the world is vastly different from the one we know! That is our entire value proposition, and I believe you will agree it is fantastic.

Consider using a simple camping cookware to heat soup.

Imagine the world-changing news if your equipment was discovered in a newly discovered Pharaoh's burial chamber!!

Consider your competitors — no, wait, I need to describe this scenario in greater detail to fully reveal your ingenuity. This has occurred, but professional discretion prevents the names of the companies involved from being revealed. When I have fully explained the situation, I am confident that you will respect my discretion and believe it is worth its weight in gold.

Assume a company releases a product that represents a significant advancement in their industry. Naturally, they are rewarded, and as good businesspeople, they put their profits to good use by developing the next iteration of their product. Their competitors, of course, study the product and develop their own competing version — having learned from the first iteration of the product, their competing product is superior to that first version, but the first mover in the space now releases their second iteration, which once again beats all competition and is rewarded with even greater revenues! The initial mover in the space is able to beat their competition in perpetuity due to a simple temporal priority and the rewards such priority often provides.

However, time travel has the ability to correct such unequal power dynamics.

The initial mover's product is released, but the public is already hungry for their competitor's product, the superior product that has not yet been developed but will be soon. The initial product is not improved significantly in its subsequent iteration, and the playing field has now been leveled!

A level playing field achieved through the prudent use of time travel.

One obvious application of time travel is to deliver a product to yourself before it has been developed, thereby saving a significant amount of money in the development process. Although this type of delivery is more expensive than the other time travel services Illuminati Ganga provides, I believe a moment of thought will convince you of its worth.

Of course, I must emphasize that we do not deliver products developed by your competitors to your past self; this is part of the aforementioned discretion, which represents our own high and unshakeable moral stance.

But, once again, this can be a very expensive and extremely lucrative operation.

Of course, you can expose your products not only in the past, but also in alternate timelines!

Consider your life; perhaps you always wanted to be the creator of the world's best sonic whip (for example), but what if there was a time when that dream could have been sidelined and you instead became a professor of Aylwist Literature and lived in a small cottage behind the college of rainbows, but sometimes in correcting your students' poorly written poetry about milking humblebees you may look out your window wistfully, only to see a handsome circumspect traveler.

Such inspiration can propel the alternate you, who has never made a sonic whip in their life, onto the path of full-scale production! The advantage of such a case is not immediately obvious, but consider this: in business, who can you trust? Obviously, the only person you can trust in an alternate universe is yourself; you have no reason to screw you over, so it makes sense for you in Universe Deimos to take the light gliding sneakers they've developed and send them to you to develop for your world, while you reciprocate with aerium soda. Why will your companies in both universes be among the largest in no time? Do twice as much product research for half the price!

Finally, there are advantages to bringing your product and exposing it to the future — a record of the future's reaction will be provided. This is most useful for products that are popular today; bring the once popular product 20 years into the future, and the natural workings of nostalgia will provide a better psychological record of the swings in affection you can expect for your brand over the next generation. To obtain a comparable benefit, you would have to pay several people to scour all of the journals and records for the next twenty years for any mention of your brand, and you might still miss some high points, really the recorded and nuanced response of the future.

Now that our brief survey of some of the exciting possibilities for growth that time travel can offer your company and your products has come to an end, I hope you will carefully consider the prospects I offer and be interested in contacting us for beneficial business correspondence. All legal tender forms are accepted.