Nap like a dog

Something had to crack, it just had too. The pressures of the last six years had eroded me to the point of ghost thin mentally and emotionally. The fatigue had become overwhelming with little hope of improvement or respite in sight. I felt trapped by responsibilities and frankly quite stupid that I had allowed these to be forced onto me by clever folk who manipulate through guilt.

Narcissists are amazing at manipulation, really clever and dogged in the pursuit of milking every last ounce out of you before throwing you away and starting on their next victim. Seriously, I should have known this all too well. Down to my bones I know this and yet still I signed on for another round of mental hell with an organisation that have a long history of breaking even the most dedicated to the industry.

November 2019 was my goal post, just get through to the 15th and you can stop this constant travel and stress of teaching. You can rest, I told myself, just get through to then. Sad hey that the date that was set was for my knee surgery and that was the only reason I was stopping. Not because I had seen clearly or made an adult decision of resigning for my own sanity.

Surgery then six weeks of rehab brought me through to 2020 and well....that was a whole new year right?? Yeah...right.

We had fires here, bush fires so epic that they made previous years easy in comparison. Evacuations, deaths of stock and upheavals. We rode through the early months until the calm of winter but then the new threat, that insidious Covid whisper began. Will it come here? Will we dodge that disease? Nup.

Then the Lockdowns began, one after another with the restrictions becoming tighter and tighter until it strangled us all and stopped us in our tracks. Business stopped, the ability to trade and work, well it just stopped.

What do we do? All the rats on the wheels running running running and now we have just...stopped. The adjustments were difficult to say the least, people railing against the authorities setting the restrictions and civil unrest erupted world wide and not just here in Oz.

People settled into the new routines of doing nothing, of being trapped in their homes or only allowed a 5km radius of home to exercise. Essential workers had freedoms and almost normality but those deemed non essential had to restructure their lives, their goals and their life pace. Us non essentials put on hold our business/career/earning and learned to slow down and wait out these 'unprecedented times'... aaaarrrggghhh if I ever have that phrase thrown at me again I will not be responsible for my actions.

So what did we all learn to do? Some made the time productive by learning new skills online or through books and TV. Netflix subscriptions flourished and the platforms of zoom etc kept us connected, however fraught with hilarious results that was. We learned to slow our pace and become inventive with our time instead of just giving it all away to a corporate power for their billion dollar gains.

What did I do with that time? Personally I learned, or should i say relearned the power of the Nap. That little sleep during the day that for whatever reason had become the sole right of toddlers and the elderly. Why? There should be an investigation into that, really there should. Why have we as wage earning adults been made to feel guilt for the rejuvenating nap? Why do we have to make excuses like "I don't feel well" or "I worked late last night" to deflect any discrimination from those around us? Ask a dog why it naps and the answer would be (if they could tell you) "why not??" They take the opportunity when it arises no matter the location or time of day. They are champion nappers and they are who I turned to so that I could embrace the concept and reboot my system from years of fatigue. My girls taught me that to nap is to be more productive and clear of mind when the time comes to act. That good sleep keeps murder at bay and makes you a better human to be around. It brings back laughter and joy, patience and peace.

I am still working on that night sleep, that sleep all the way through and only wake to the alarm type sleep. Melatonin helps, good gear that, get onto it folks. Gardening helps me too, that great physical feeling of tired instead of mental fatigue. Dirt under the nails and sometimes I kick off my flip flops and get dirt between my toes again. Grounding, soothing, rejuvenating dirt. Checking out from media in all forms and going back to books, good old fashioned paper books. Falling asleep with a happier alternate world in my head that blocks out all the crappy news bombarding us. Reality can really foul up good deep sleep.

So all power to the Nap I say. Give it a go and you too may find that despite the naysayers who will admonish you with "you will not be able to sleep tonight if you nap" you too will find peace and calm inching it's way back into your life. That the frantic pace you have kept all these years is probably only really benefitting those who don't matter to you. We can do well with less, pair back our lives to just the simple things that count. Spend time with those you love and enjoy a Nap with them.