Lifes lemons & apples

It is after 5 am Jan 11th whew that shower was priceless. There was a struggle to shower for a long while. I have fibromyalgia and also that dreaded gout.

I could not shower for a while alone without struggle. You should see the two knots on my head after I fainted twice in one night. I always knew the true joy in water. But when the turn of life challenged a basic shower. Life was not all that fun for me. I was given a shower chair during my time of downfall. It was so hard to really clean myself with that chair.

Since the super knew my legal rights he flew in to order a few bars in my bathroom. I am ok I did not think of causing an issue. I am not one of those renters. My building manager has gone beyond for me. I will always remind myself where I was when she said yes to me. A stranger with a struggle in life. I don't use the shower chair today but I plan to keep it just in case. It is not like I don't have a spot for it.

There was a hard struggle getting out of that constant pain. The Hospital could not help me. I was instructed not to come back to them. I also learned if you go back and forth to them for the same reason. Within 30 days time. The insurance does not pay the hospital. I learned that day I was causing my local hospital to lose funds, time and supplies.

You might not believe me but it has been at least 3 years I have not been back. I stopped eating and drinking for a few days. I stripped myself of everything which was reintroduced one by one. In seconds I could sip some orange juice and death was calling me. I no longer can drink oranage juice unless it is aldi brand reduced something.

I slowly noticed that anything in the original brand of Crystal Light just about killed me. The one thing I nearly lost my mind having to give up was grapefruit. I learned very late that citrus was my killer. I stay far away from the fresh and awesome lemonaide. I don't want it at all.

I have reduced sugar due to all the favorites nolonger allowed in my daily life. It has been about survival and pain free living. let us understand free does not mean gone forever. I was able to regain the enjoyment of ice cream. Not all the national brands though I wish. I can eat Walmart And aldi brand. I am not upset by any means.

If you screamed for three nights straight you would give anything for relief. My poor feet endured neoropthy and heel spurs so that added to my dire strights life and struggle. I can't begin to describe the horror my neighbors witnessed. This is one reason I never wanted to move out. There are some that have helped when I was not aware I was in need. Bipolar issues at that time.

Recently, I let someone in my life thinking I could trust him. he learned that running the water could kill me. he would pull up the faucet and leave the kitchen. He learned a candy wrapper could do me in. He would open candy around me making is so hard. I was driving oce and almost turned off the road to deathlane.

I did not want to make it known I saw what was being done. But when I could not hide it anylonger. I started figuring out how to suffer alone even if that meant falling and no one finding me. I prefer to die alone then someone I know cause me mental hardship on purpose. Mental illness,poor, and trying to work is a struggle. I can do without the rest.

I am feeling like a snack and I know you are too. My heartfelt tip for today is look closely around you. Open your eyes and think about the coming years. Are you going to make it if nothing changes?

Tips are blessings and I am thankful if I get any. Shays_creations loves life.