8 Ways to Become More Emotionally Mature

Are you emotionally mature?

There's a difference between being mature and being emotionally mature. You can have a receding hairline and be over six feet tall and still not be emotionally mature. So what does it mean to be emotionally mature? When someone is emotionally mature, they can manage their feelings in nearly any situation. They possess empathy for others and often know how to deescalate a conflict if necessary. They're the person you go to when you have a tough issue you need to talk about. Sounds great, right? Well, to help you get a grasp on your emotions, here are eight ways to become more emotionally mature.

Number one: identify your emotions.

How can we get a grasp on our emotions if we don't first know what we're feeling? It might seem silly that you must identify your emotions, but before you get into a heated fight or start breaking down into a sob, do you know what led you there? Maybe a simple irritation over a comment someone made found its way deep into your thoughts, and you carried that anger with you for the rest of the day. If you first recognize what you're feeling, then you can start to understand why and resolve it for yourself. Try leaving a tally in a journal every time you feel angry or irritated, and for every time you feel sad or empty, then ask yourself why you felt that way. Being aware and understanding why you feel these things can help you manage your emotions. So, if you know you're getting irritated at your brother for eating the last donut, your donut, take a breath, and recognize that you're simply irritated at a donut before you say something you'll regret. That irritation could turn into anger for the rest of the day if you don't first identify why you were even angry in the first place. Now recognize your anger and acknowledge it. Remind yourself that your feelings are valid, but you don't have to act on them.

Number two: Take responsibility.

Have you ever denied something just because you didn't want to admit you were wrong? Sometimes reality can be hard to face, but it's more mature to take responsibility for our actions instead of brushing them away. If we simply ignore that we were wrong during an argument or don't take action on things that are our responsibilities, we can never learn and grow from our mistakes. Being aware, holding yourself accountable, recognizing you were wrong, and learning from your mistakes shows that you're emotionally mature. Not only that, next time you're in the same situation, you won't make the same mistake twice.

Number three: Find a role model.

If you struggle with how quickly you react negatively in stressful situations, try looking toward someone you admire as a guide. What would they do? If someone you admire acts in an emotionally mature and positive way in tough situations, it's great to use them as a role model, like Mother Teresa. What a role model. It's important, of course, not to lose track of who you are. You don't want to become your role model and lose yourself. You just want to learn how they handle situations so well. Maybe they have a great work ethic that you admire. Try it out. How do they handle negative feedback? Calm and smoothly? Worth the try. So next time you're in a tough situation, think, what would Mother Teresa do?

Number four: Keep a thought diary.

Do you suffer from negative thoughts? Are you constantly discouraging yourself? Do you point out flaws every time you look in the mirror or complete a project? It's important to our mental health that we work towards having positive thoughts as opposed to negative ones. While we may think, oh, it's just one negative thought, no big deal. These negative comments we make to ourselves start to pile up. Soon, you're left with a harsh thinking pattern that will often take the lead when it comes to what you think. These thought processes are usually automatic and can become habitual. We don't want to think of ourselves or others in a negative light, but negativity can find a way inside of our minds. A good way to think positive is to practice cognitive restructuring. This can be done by keeping a thought diary. Write down what you feel every day. What were some thoughts that raced through your mind? What did you stress about? Was it worth it? What are some alternative ways to look at the situation? Our worry can be valid, but when we open up a diary and see the same thoughts take up our day over and over, we may realize they weren't worth worrying about at all. When we recognize this, we can start to move on and come up with practical solutions on how to resolve our stress and negative thoughts. We can always counteract the negative thoughts by writing a positive one beside it as well.

Number five: Learn to be open-minded.

Emotionally mature people understand they don't have all the answers. That's why it's best to open our minds to other perspectives besides simply our own. We may have a strong opinion on certain subjects, but it doesn't hurt to actively listen to another's opposing opinion instead of thinking about ways we can persuade them that they're wrong. It's best not to judge someone or something right away. If we learn to be open-minded, even with the little things, we give ourselves the chance to try something new. We can enjoy different films or literature we might not have thought was our taste. Try a unique recipe. And most importantly, hear others out. We may learn things from listening to another's perspective and we may realize we were wrong. We can still choose our opinions in the end, but this is after we've listened with an open mind to the other's beliefs or arguments. Even if we don't agree, we may understand them a little bit more and that can be powerful. As our role model Mother Teresa has advised, "If you judge people, you have no time to love them."

Number six: Embrace reality.

Do you often beat yourself up because of your circumstances and your flaws? Remember negative thoughts? Do they spend a lot of time dwelling on your reality? Instead of dwelling on your flaws, or even suppressing them, accept and embrace them. This is your life. Instead of ignoring your struggles, find a way to be at peace with them. If you can change it, work towards change. If you can't, embrace who you are, where you are, and work towards what will make you smile. Embracing this will not only give you clarity to move forward, but peace as well. Mother Teresa's wise tips on peace: "Peace begins with a smile."

Number seven: Pause and be patient.

Have you ever been in a heated argument and said something you didn't mean, and later regretted it? This is likely because we act on impulse when upset. If we take a moment to pause and reflect, we can then begin to say what we really mean. Simply expressing how we feel and why can turn a situation around by not only making the other person understand you but yourself as well. Choose to pause in a stressful or confusing situation to give yourself the option to consciously choose how you want to react. It will only lead you on the path to emotional maturity.

And number eight: Live in the present.

Dwelling on the past can cause us sadness and regret. Dwelling on the future, don't even get me started on how stressful it can be. So, while we can learn from our past and make choices for our future, we need to learn to live in the present. If we're present and make conscious decisions, we're less likely to react negatively or fall into old habits. Being present is powerful. It's the only moment we can act, choose, experience and enjoy, if we allow ourselves to.We can't change the past,and we can't jump to the future, so why waste the precious time we have dwelling upon them? Life is happening now, as we speak, in front of you, and as Mother Teresa would say,"Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today.Let us begin".

So, are you emotionally mature?

Did you find these tips helpful?