This isn't what I signed up for.

After two major restructures in 8 months, you feel a bit deflated. That often escalates when you see people being given promotions (for some, it's their second in less than a year), and that turns to resentment for the team you are supposed to be working with. You then start to get very frustrated when these people take on the work you have been doing for the past 2 years, and things are just nose-diving at a rate that terrifies you because you poured your heart and soul into creating things that resonated with the audience you helped nurture and grow over 2 years of your career.

The worst part is that you won't get listened to. When you ask the question about why you just got told that you have to prove yourself more and work at it for anything for 6 months before they will even look at it, and now you are being seen as a problem, You are causing issues for the company because you are questioning things and providing feedback on things that are no longer your place to provide feedback on. Even though you have all the qualifications and have been managing that process for the company for the last 2 years, that no longer seems to matter because you are perceived as being negative towards a college.

I often find myself crying and feeling so lost in what I do now. I don't know where I fit in the company anymore, and it's terrifying, so I take to writing my feelings just to get them out because there isn't anyone I feel like I can talk to who will listen and that I won't face repercussions for feeling this way.

I hate this.

I've lost everything I spent 2 years building.

Everything.

All I wanted was to make a difference and be in an industry that I cared about and a company I truly believed in, but now it's all different. Things have shifted. The culture has shifted. We are back to silos. It's funny; there was a small period where things actually looked like they might get better, and there was a chance to move into something where I would be able to express some of the creativity I have. I might have been able to start moving into a more brand and strategy role, or even just get the chance to see how that went. But my hopes were crushed.

The person who was meant to be a mentor for me had lied to me. She told me a lot of good change was coming and that when she was back from her holiday, things would change for the better and that I would get the changes to my role that I have been working towards for 2 years. But that all changed so quickly; it's like I was just thrown to the side for the next new toy. The new team... the team that isn't qualified to do the jobs they have been assigned, and that's not what they were hired to do. The newly promoted managers are taking credit for the work done by the team that recently handed in their resignation. The team is crumbling, and we are slowly losing. The team is all actively looking for new jobs.

I didn't intend for this to last as long as it did. It was supposed to be a quick thought that I could get out of my head, but apparently, it's been building. I'm not questioning if there is anything that can be done to salvage my career here, or do I cut my losses and find something new?