The Violet Project Diaries - Entry 1
The first entry of a diary series solely about the development of my writing career as a dark fantasy novelist.
My scattered brain has buried me into new projects time and time again. I initially started a blog to keep track of my own progress and it did help me get the first draft done. Now here I am with the second draft, swaying back and forth between that and any other new project that pops into my head. It’s aggravating realizing only now that this was a strange procrastination technique masquerading as productive career building.
Writing has always been the core of my creative expression, but the vision I have for my novel or more specifically my dark fantasy universe is the core of who I am. It’s silly that insecurity held the reins during this creative journey this whole time, so I’m kicking fear out of the saddle and transmuting it into fuel. The novel series, the short stories, and all other things that are connected to my magical, twisted universe is getting done. Now.
First, for the readers joining me on this ride, let me give you a quick summary of where I’m at with the second draft.
- The first draft of my novel, which I’m currently calling “The Violet Project”, is almost 500 pages long and over 130,000 words.
- The second draft is being sculpted through rereading the first draft, fine tuning character arc development, setting descriptions, rearranging chapter orders, completely removing chapters, and creating a flow chart for the plot.
- The diary entries will go into more detail on my process
This is pretty much the average thing writers go through when they’re working on a novel, but let me tell you why I’ve decided to do the terrifying thing of discussing my writing process to the public. I’m on the balance beam of self-doubt and worry. The only things keeping my balance are determination, focus, and authenticity. The universe I’ve created is the realest part of me shared with the world, as it is for all writers, but I can’t wait for the novel to be published for me to BELIEVE that being real won’t lead to catastrophe. I’ve decided to share my journey to prove to myself that vulnerability doesn’t mean certain death. It doesn’t mean everyone’s going to hate me. It doesn’t mean everyone’s going to like me. These diary entries are to break the dualistic philosophy of hit or miss. I’m exploring the gray area of creative work and forcing it to become technicolor by expressing my own revelations. Honestly, I’m sick of losing my balance and letting self-doubt and worry suck me in. I’m going to walk that balance beam confidently and even when I slip, I want to prove to myself I can get back up again. Even if someone chucks something to distract me or make me lose my balance, I want to prove to myself that I can bounce back. So frankly, reader, this is and isn’t for you. If you’re a novelist or any other type of writer that gets the agony of promoting authentic work and wrestling with the status quo that says, “You have to do this to be successful,” then maybe you’ll enjoy my entries as I decide to do whatever the hell I want without letting hypothetical or probably consequences hold me back.
In addition to being real and recording my revelations, I’ll provide whatever resources I find useful in the hopes they help readers that are in the same boat as me. We’ll see how this goes, but overall. I am excited.
All right. Entry one was just the introduction. The next one will be…whatever during work today.
I may not have a novel published yet, but I do have a horror short story out called “Autonomy Bleeds Black”. If you hate narcissism and like horror, you’ll enjoy it, hopefully. I would love, love, love critique on it because it’s far from perfect and my hunger for improving my writing is absolutely ravenous. Bring it.
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