The Truth & The Teller:

She is the Angel with the bald head, the poster child of the outcast. Her death was the most predictable of unpredictable things to this malicious society. The people watched her struggle and heal for years. It was almost as

if they were waiting for her downfall. Celebrities and pundits who mocked her love driven rebellion said kind words about her when it was much too late. Why does society wait to acknowledge the work of the truth teller only when they’re gone? Sinead was a protest singer who never made a statement for the sake of controversy. She moved the way she needed to so that she could create positive change. The truth is that we all have our time and our day will come. We all eventually meet our maker and will be held accountable for the harm we’ve done. Society is a lot more malicious than they let on, especially the “ normal “ ones who go to Church every Sunday. The ones who gaslight you and condemn you “ out of love. “ The “ normal “ ones because through their cookie cutter lives and ability to never disappoint, they live a life of privilege and power. It is the “ normal “ ones that normalize marginalization. Who other, dismiss and disregard those that just don’t know how to be like everyone else. Sinead didn’t belong to the “ normal “ ones. She was one of us. She was a black sheep with a mission. Although often times truth tellers are treated more like a spectacle until they’re gone. She was a broken person that selflessly would mend herself and healed publicly for those who were suffering silently.

Sinead will be remembered for the sound of her incredible voice and the voice of her incredible heart. Her song ‘ Troy ‘ painted a clear picture of some of the cruel trauma that left her with Complex PTSD. For those who are unaware, Complex PTSD is a form of PTSD where one has experienced so much trauma in their life - that the PTSD didn’t necessarily come from just one traumatic experience. She gave a voice to trauma survivors from the very start. There was nothing gradual about Sinead’s ongoing activism and where she planned on taking it. There was a deep vulnerability as she willingly went to go Dr. Phil to show others that there is no shame in taking the initiative to getting help for mental health struggles. Why did it take a pandemic paired with isolation for people to start recognizing the importance of mental health? It is the most embarrassing thing to air out one’s laundry in order to create change. When I’ve written articles about the discrimination I experience for being a Disabled Indigenous Trans Woman and my lifelong struggle with PTSD, it is embarrassing. Honest conversations are necessary to create positive change but you are judged and discredited for doing so. When you’re a working professional with a mental health disability, you’re expected to never show your symptoms. It seems that ableism can be just as invisible as our disabilities. Why is it that laws like the Americans with Disability Act only protect us after we speak up? The ADA clearly protects disabled people with non-visible disabilities. Those of us with mental health struggles rarely have our disabilities acknowledged, unless it is to depict us as incoherent and belligerent. It is essential for us to have our own voice and it’s okay for us to do the kind of work we do while displaying our disabilities. Often times art critics complain about the romanticization of depression in art. They have it all wrong. It is the romanticization of the honest conversation. To create space and a catalyst for healing. To speak for the others that don’t have a voice with the hope of some day creating community and understanding in this world.

Art is expression and the job of the Artist is to speak on the things we know. It takes the whole world to work together to finally fix this place. As a Nednhi Apache Trans Woman, I have left both twitter and Tik Tok in the last year. Us Indigenous People are Genocide survivors. We have non-natives who police our Indigeneity and other Indigenous People who police the Indigeneity of each other. We all live with at the very least historical trauma and sadly we are so hurt that often times we turn on each other. These long threads of lateral violence only serve colonialism. We have been effected by colonization differently in every colonial country on Native Land. Yet sometimes federally recognized native people discount and exclude Indigenous people south of the colonial border and those of us tribes cut in half by the colonial border. We all need each other and we are stronger together. It hurts too much to see this and that’s why I decided to remove myself from these spaces. The song ‘ What Your Soul Sings ‘ written by the band Massive Attack and Sinead O’Connor gives great encouragement to stay on our divine path and get the work done that Creator sent us to do. She’s always been on the right side of history. In the 80s, Sinead O’Connor was giving clothes to Trans Women so that they could experience the “ euphoria of feeling like themselves “ in clothes that align with their spirit. She spoke up about racism in the music industry and pushed for Hip Hop to be recognized as a legitimate category at music award ceremonies. She spoke against anti-blackness in the arts and in the world. Sinead spoke about the abuse of children by the Catholic Church. That is something that Indigenous people very much understand because of colonization, forced baptisms, forced conversion, residential schools and the demonization of our spiritual practices/cultures. Sinead never appeared to be out to divide anyone and her activism made a great impact in Ireland where patriarchy was so strong. Sinead spoke of having been sent to a Magdalene laundry where troubled women and rape survivors were thrown away by society. American Society treats Trauma Survivors much the same way. They harm you and try to throw you away. It’s why they’re so bothered when Marginalized people have a voice, especially us Indigenous people. We are a reminder of what they did wrong.

There have been so many Disability Rights Advocates who have created positive change but the ADA is an ancient text that needs to be updated. Disabled People often times experience much unethical mistreatment in the medical field and from social workers. It’s an experience I’m all too accustomed to as my Healthcare Coordinator seems to ask me more questions about my personal life and legal cases pursuing justice than he does about my disability needs. These kinds of people tend to hold it against you when you’re disabled and pursue a romantic life or social life. Article 23 of the Convention of Human Rights clearly protects disabled people in having a love life, a social life and not punishing us for being disabled by isolating us from the outside world. It has taken and will take many advocates of different backgrounds/faiths to create positive change for those with Mental Health Disabilities. Sinead O’Connor is one of many musicians and artists that left their stamp on the world. Nina Simone was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Hemingway, Michelangelo, Van Gogh and Robin Williams were other people that were also known or believed to have had mental health disorders. There has always been a connection between mental health struggles and creativity. We need to lose the habit of wanting to save the art and rejecting the artist. Creatives should be applauded for taking the risk of being vulnerable so that other people can heal through song, through visual art, through reading and through film.

Sinead O’Connor didn’t seem to want to become an Icon. I think she would have rather us remember her as a Guardian Angel for the Misfits. She was a clear reminder that spirituality is supposed to make us feel good, not angry. That a connection with the Higher Power was never meant to be a tool to oppress others or deny their human rights. Rather to see each other as God’s Children.

by Marcy Angeles: Artist, Writer, Musician, Journalist & Public Speaker