The Move Made in the Name of Love

It would be 5 months till I saw the man who instantly had me captivated. At this point I was head over heels totally obsessed and convinced that this was it. In my eyes there was no wrong that this man could do. Blinded by my own infatuation i know i missed some obvious red flags. Probably not the best mind set to have when deciding to move your children one province over in pursuit of my happily ever after. In hindsight i should of stayed put it was a 5000 dollar move that i paid on my own. You'd think a man wanting a woman to move that 10 hour distance would have at least offered some sort of help but i got it all done on my own. Finally i was in the same city as the man I was certain I'd spend the rest of my life with. It wasn't long before the honey moon phase had worn off and my paradise had quickly become chaos and disappointment. He moved in with me pretty quickly and was fully employed but he never really helped with any of the bills which i found just awful but i didn't mention it because i didn't want to rock the boat. I also seemed to be the only one cleaning and cooking while he laid in the room and played poker for hours on his phone. He rarely took me out or did anything romantic and i began to drink pretty heavy as a way to cope with my fairy tale turning sour. He eventually got fired and that became a lot to deal with for both of us. So when his mother called to ask him to manage her new business he accepted without asking me how i felt or what it would mean for us. Are you kidding me i just spent a small fortune moving here less then a year ago for him and he was moving back to the city i had just come from. That on top of breaking my heart. Who the heck was this guy? I was crushed our future was over. So he left and i was alone looking for a new apartment because I got evicted for a disagreement with a neighbour. Not before befriending a couple other neighbours who happy to see that i was single. The guy a couple doors down took a strong interest in me and wasted no time taking me and my son for dinner almost every night. He really spoiled me and i was so neglected in my relationship with Mr.C that i had forgotten what it was like to be treated like i was special. Things with me and the new guy were moving slow but i was really liking his efforts but I did start speaking with Mr.C again and he expressed how he felt and that he deeply loved and missed me. It was now when we decided to tell his mother that his mystery girl in Edmonton was none other than her former friend and waitress.... me! He asked me to move back and i was on the next bus back to the city where it had all started for us. This would be the beginning of the end of us and of myself..... the next few years would be the best and the hardest years of my life. While we were on and off I got pregnant and Mr.C would first deny the paternity and then later demand that i get a job and my own apartment before he would consider dating me. It would be a series of events lie this that would slowly chip away at the love I had for him. Our son would be 5 a the time that we finally decided to seperate for good. After catching him in lies and finding out my intuition about him cheating and with who all turned out to be right it was finally time to end it. So i went away for a bit, got engaged to someone else and eventually found myself back in familiar arms only a year after our break up we were at it again. I decided to give it my absolute best and do it right. So once again i brought the best of me, was honest loyal and loving. It resulted in an engagement but the night he asked me to marry him I got a call from another ex who wanted to see me and work on things by now my feelings for Mr.C had all but vanished so i called it off and pursued things with my new love B.... It took a total of 7 years of repeated heart break and betrayal, i developed anxiety, self esteem issues, a drug habit and restless spirit as a result of the trauma this man had put me through. We had two abortions and one child. To this day it baffles me that a man could put on such an incredible act without the slightest clue to who he really was. I worked two jobs and took evening classes while raising our new born and tending to our condo while went to work for his mother to smoke crack and sleep women who lacked in every aspect of what would be normal attraction. In hind sight the first time he hurt me should have been the last time. I passed up some really fantastic men for this man and in the end it was for nothing because once i saw him for who he was, that in itself took too long, i couldn't go back to loving him or even respecting him.