Reincarnation

If you’re really a mean person you’re going to come back as a fly and eat poop.

— Kurt Cobain

If you’re reading this right now, I’m assuming you’re a human. And if you are in fact a human, you’ve most likely spent time pondering your own mortality. More specifically, what happens after you finally leave the mortal coil.

Some people believe in an afterlife, where the soul goes to either a version of a heaven or a hell depending on how they lived their lives; either reunited with their pious loved ones to be forever embraced in the bosom of their omniscient creator or left to toil and repent for eternity.

Others think that consciousness simply fades away into oblivion, and that death is the end of everything. But what if I told you that there’s a third option that provides a middle ground between the two poles? A theory that suggests that our souls can be reborn into new bodies and live multiple lives? That’s right, I’m talking about good ol’ reincarnation!

More present-day cultures than you would think and many ancient cultures (before colonization *cough*) have believed in reincarnation for centuries. It’s still a widely debated topic today. Some people claim to have memories of past lives, while others have had seemingly inexplicable experiences that can only be explained by reincarnation.

But never mind all of that. Our goal today is not to dissect the philosophical implications of an afterlife.

No.

Today, we suspend our disbelief and imagine an existence in a parallel universe where we are divinely blessed with being able to live out our lives as cats.

If I had the opportunity to be reincarnated as any animal in my next life, I would definitely choose to be a cat. I mean, have you seen those things? They. Have. It. Made! They get to sleep all day, eat gourmet food, and have someone constantly petting and adoring them. Plus, they have those cute little paws and that adorable fluffball tail. And the toe beans?! It’s basically the dream life.

But seriously, there are so many things to love about cats. For one, they are independent and self-sufficient. They don’t need anyone to take care of them or constantly entertain them. They are happy to spend hours napping or grooming themselves, and they seem to have a natural sense of calm and contentment. They’re like the yogis of the animal world. Imagine being able to retain near full autonomy while being waited on hand and paw?

I also adore the way cats move and interact with the world around them. They are graceful and agile, and they seem to have a special connection with their environment. Watching a cat stalking its prey or pouncing on a toy is a joy to behold. It’s like they’re constantly performing a mini Cirque du Soleil show just for us.

Cats also have a special bond with their human companions. They may not show affection in the same way that dogs do (no slobbery kisses or butt wiggles), but they are still fiercely loyal and loving to their owners. I think it would be amazing to have that kind of connection with someone and to be able to share in the simple pleasures of life together.

Overall, I think that being reincarnated as a cat would be a wonderful experience. I would get to live a life of independence, enjoyment, and connection with others, and I think that would be the perfect way to spend my next life. Plus, I’d get to wear a tiny little bell on my collar and be super cute all the time. It’s a win-win.

-B-