Quarantine With the Trolls, online journal, part one

Hour 78 of Quarantine

Both kids are continuously bored. Both have reverted to their original Troll forms and may have officially gone stir-crazy. If they aren't fighting, they are running and screaming through the house. Both have become bottomless pits, but claim they didn't eat the last Reese's. Both are extremely quiet as of now, so maybe on the prowl. If you happen to see one of these monsters, BEWARE, as they may have resorted to cannibalism, depending on how long it's been since they last ate. The Little one can be tamed with Dr. Pepper. The Bigger one prefers music, but danger, certain lyrics may anger and drive into a rampage.

Hour 84 of Quarantine

I have resorted to eating my dinner in the corner of a dark room. It's the most peace I've felt in hours. I do not feel guilty that the Trolls and their father have asked where I was 40 times. Have been debating with myself for several minutes if Beagle has enough meat on them and tastes good with BBQ sauce, the snitches that they are. (Where's Toothless when you really need her....) Am considering moving into the said corner and coming out only at night to restock my diminishing supplies.

Hour 91 of Quarantine

I've come out of hiding to refill my supplies...Oh, alright, my Dr. Pepper cup... Only to have the little one catch me. I am now cornered and being bombarded with a thousand and one questions.

Do you know what the outside of the peach is called?

How can Someone make a glitter bomb?

Is there a such thing as a sky mattress?

If we found a unicorn can we keep it?

Do all insects fly?

Why do Britains call cookies biscuits?

What are we eating for breakfast?

Is there a dog that doesn't bark?

Can I have another Dr. Pepper?

What are ya doing?

Want to play a game?

Why is it called a baseball bat?

Do we have another pizza?

Will you tell Big Troll to stop drinking my Dr. Pepper?

Why do I have to share?

Why is it called a hot dog if a dog isn't in it?

Can we go somewhere tomorrow?

Are we poor?

Then why can't I have McDonald's fries when we're in town?

You know what?

Do we have regular flour?

Can I make playdoh?

What does it being 11:30 at night have anything to do with it?

Where were you earlier?

Where are you going?

Don't you want to hear a joke?

I am maybe in over my head. I'll be lucky if I can survive in one piece. At the rate she's asked questions, I may soon be catatonic.

Please send reinforcements in the form of Dr. Pepper and ice cream sandwiches.

Hour 101 of Quarantine

Father of the Trolls is up griping, appears to be attempting to eat a meal he's smashed together (please be jelly....). Which is good, I was beginning to worry that he had become one of the undead due to the fact that he hasn't moved from in front of his TV in several hours and his only response has been a series of grunts and groans. I was debating on staking him or calling to have white coats collect him.

The big troll only moves around and eats when the WiFi is on. She can be out cold and as soon as the WiFi is turned on her eyes pop open. It's fascinating to watch this creature once up and moving around. Her left hand seems to be in the shape of a cell phone and she can stare at it for hours without moving. Every now and then it appears to try communicating with music. Seems to growl, hiss, and spit a lot.

The little Troll is up and saying she's been hungry since dark 30 (which could mean all night or since 6 am). I'm worried, she's eating us out of the house and it appears she has grown again during the night. I'm starting to wonder if she got a hold of radioactive Dr. Peppers. She may have some hobbit in her somewhere. Her feet are really big and she keeps mentioning 2nd breakfast.

I've attempted to continue hiding in my corner, but somehow the little one and her father have smelt me out. It was probably the beagles. (Note to self: do beagles taste like chicken? Would they be better fried or baked? Snitches). Am considering moving to chicken pen where I know they won't ever go on their own free will. Also thinking of replacing the dogs with more cats and chickens.

Hour 101 and 3/4's of Quarantine

Father of Trolls has been lured to his den. He is now sitting there happily watching The Joker. Every now and then he grunts and makes chimpanzee noises. Show must be action packed to have his complete attention.

The bigger Troll offspring seems to be up and functioning a little sluggish this morning. She appears to be deciding which Toaster Strudel it's time to murder. I also believe she is the one who is drinking the packets of glaze that are in the boxes. She's not communicating in her normal musical tone, so unsure how to proceed. May need to observe her actions a little longer. Muse over my findings over a cold Dr. Pepper. ** Note to self: Need to restock Dr. Pepper at this rate.

The smaller Troll hasn't been heard or seen for several minutes. She and the beagles seem to have a unique bond and have the tendency to be able to disappear randomly, only to reappear at the most awkward and inappropriate times. One must constantly be on their guard with this one. Her favorite past times appear to be jump scare and 1000 Questions. A round of attacks from her can fry your circuits and cause a mental shutdown. Symptoms include but are not limited to forgetfulness, stuttering, slow response time, fluttering eyelid and/or lazy eye, sluggish movement, and tunnel hearing. If any other symptoms occur, I'd advise going to the ER... I believe this younger Troll has a stockpile of Dr. Pepper somewhere. It appears this is fuel for her ability to function.

I must retreat for now before they notice me. They have excellent hearing and sense of smell. This will take all my skill to bypass them and make my way unnoticed to the headquarters I've set up in the chicken coop. The chickens are completely used to seeing me, so instead of them setting off the alarm, they continue about their business eating bugs and seeds. I've also figured out where Toothless is spending the quarantine.

103 1/16 Hours of Quarantine

The smaller Troll discovered me as I was enjoying the solitude of my HQ. She apparently has been raiding my hen nest on a daily basis. Lord knows why she is doing this since she doesn't cook them. (**Note to self: could be possible this is a new hoarding trait? But where is she hoarding the eggs?). She has informed me that she is hungry and wants pizza. I try to tell her that I didn't buy any more pizza, but she grabs me and drags me through the Troll Burrough, past her father and sister. Now they all are aware of me.

The little troll has the refrigerator open pointing at the top shelf demanding where. The bigger Troll is starting to make chirping sounds and rooting around the cupboards. The Troll Father is beginning to make moaning sounds while clutching his belly, I do not ** I repeat** I do not like the way he is starting to look at me.

I had to do something quick. All I had was 3 mozzarella sticks, 2 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, a can of chili, 4 hot dogs with buns, and cheesy hash browns. I set it out for them. I don't believe one chewed their food. Just inhaled.

Now I am back in my dark corner, observing their actions. I hear grumbling about how many Dr. Peppers we have left.

I may have to break quarantine for a drink run.....

I'm starting to feel worried......

Hour 112 of Quarantine

Asked the youngest Troll if she had worked on any of her Quarantine Homework. She snapped and lunged at me. She went away growling something about English not her own language, and how we expect she to work on papers. I assume she went to hook herself up to a Dr. Pepper bottle. Next, she appears, should be more reasonable, if she follows earlier actions.

The larger Troll has not been seen since a package of gum was tossed at her. I am unsure whether I should check to see if she is stuck in a gum wad, or just continue enjoying the peace.

While the older one enjoys music (some I'm unsure is actual music...), the younger Troll seems to hate most all attempts at the musical effort. Classical seems to be the little one's choice of music. This difference in music seems to be leading to physical altercations between the two. Unsure how I am to proceed at this point to actually make both happy. Will have to research and see if any Troll expert has any solutions.

The Troll Father seems most content when watching reruns on TV. MASH, Rifleman, Gunsmoke, and Night Court seem to be his favorites, as he can't look away from the screen long enough to eat. Love Boat, Gilligan's Island, and The Brady Bunch get the most growls and groans. Right now he seems to be practicing his English, but his Troll accent is so deep, I'm having problems understanding much that he says.

Hour 117 & 3/8 of Quarantine

Troll Father has made his way to bed for the night. He seemed to be unhappy with what shows were airing. With him holed up in his den til morning, the house has resorted to an eerie silence.

The younger Troll is set up in the living room and claims she's big enough to stay up all night. She's got her hidden stash of Reese's, Dr. Pepper, and gum safely under her pillow. I will possibly find her in the morning, sprawled out across the floor, hungover from all the soda she's pilfered.

I have not seen the older Troll since she came out and inhaled dinner. At this point, I am unsure if she was eaten by the younger Troll and the beagles. To be frankly honest, I'm very scared to enter that den to find out. The last time I poked my head in there I thought she was going to snap it off.

I've decided not to BBQ the beagles at this time. I may change my mind tomorrow depending on how they act tomorrow and what the food rations look like. I do not believe the Trolls would even notice.

I have managed to sneak off just long enough to make a drink run. Before I was able to get completely gone, Troll Father run out of the Burrough yelling, "Chocolate or stay gone. No back without Mouseeteer!!!" Seeing as how I have no other place to quarantine, I brought him 2 Musketeers.

Hour 127 of Quarantine

Troll Father got up early this morning. He sounded extremely angry, making odd noises in his native tongue that I can only assume were curse words. After slamming dishes around for what seemed hours, he finally calmed down and was quiet. I did hear Granny griping about Jethro in his den. He has left the house as of this moment. I am unsure when he will return or if he even will.

The house has returned to its usual morning quiet. The beagles are cuddling and not roughhousing. The Trolls are both still asleep. How they are is a mystery beyond me. Troll Father made enough noise to raise the dead.

I believe I will allow the Trolls to continue to sleep. Dr. Pepper and food rations will last a bit longer if they sleep and the peace of this beautiful morning will not be broken.

The chickens were extremely happy that I let them out this morning. They have not seemed to have adjusted to the time change as they should've. The rooster appeared to reprimand me for not being down there earlier to let them out.

I have not seen the cat since last night. If the Trolls and beagles haven't eaten her, I may have to organize a search for her. She appears alone to have the ability to make all mind her.

Please, if anyone is reading this, send reinforcements in the form of Dr. Pepper and ice cream sandwiches. I do not know how much longer I can last.

Hour 140 or 141 of Quarantine

I am unsure of the day and actual time. The Trolls have kept me barricaded in my room all day. The noises they were making had me scared to attempt escape. This has gone on for what seems like days, but my stomach and the Dr. Pepper supply says not. There have been a few crashing sounds and screams coming from the front of the Burrough. I believe one of the Trolls dragged a water hose in.

The Trolls have finally allowed me to exit my room. They appear tired and run down. For the last hour, they have been making mewing noises and rubbing their heads on my hand. If I didn't know any better I'd say they're were wanting affection.

The noises I heard were them doing their version of house cleaning. They've picked up all trash and swept. Done dishes and wiped the cookstove down. The Burrough looks so much better. It also has a faint bleached smell.

The younger of the Trolls keep looking at her nails, groaning something about how weird her nails looked. She shoved them in my face and stated too clean, too clean.

The older Troll decided she would cook dinner. She made Newman Farm Heritage Berkshire Pork ground pork with spaghetti and garlic toast. It tasted so good Troll Father ate seconds.

Troll Father hasn't made any of his usual dissatisfied grunts or growls lately. He seems satisfied with the TV lineup this evening. He showed up back at home after lunch and has had a wonderful mood since.

The beagles are sticking close to me. Almost as if they have been ordered to keep an eye on me and make sure I don't go anywhere.

Toothless has not been seen in hours. I have begun to suspect that she was served by the Trolls at lunchtime. (This could be the cause of their happiness?) Seeing as the cat never roams far from her food bowl, and always comes to her name better than any old dog, I'm taking this as a bad sign.

I am extremely worried at this point. The Trolls never do anything without an ulterior motive. The youngest one has measured me 6 times since they allowed me to come out. She keeps wrapping her arms around my waist and saying almost. The older one is looking through a recipe book and keeps glancing at me and saying I's hungry and licking her lips. The situation appears to be getting really desperate, fast. I may have to pull out the Reese's Eggs to fend them off for the night.

Please, someone, anyone, if you're seeing this, send reinforcements in the form of Dr. Pepper and ice cream sandwiches!

Hour 149 of Quarantine (or is it 153)

I'm still 100% uncertain of the hour. All clocks have mysteriously stopped at the exact same time - 1:52. I'm unsure when this happened. I've tried changing batteries but to no avail. Even the cell phone clock is frozen. I still have internet at this time and have tried resetting the clock on my phone but am remaining luckless.

Little Troll has been grunting and chirping happily for at least an hour. She has hand swept the kitchen floor and around the wood stove. She's also put wood in the said stove.

The oddest thing happened while observing her. She pulled one of the eggs she has been pilfering from the hens' nests from a pocket, kissed it, and placed it on the table. Then she proceeded to do the same with a second egg. She has thrown a bunch of ingredients into a bowl and added the eggs. She has placed this concoction of hers in the oven. I've been smelling chocolate for a few minutes now. Was unaware either Troll was able to cook. I've been contemplating where she may have picked up this interest of hers that is so utterly unTroll-like. Have considered this may be her attempt at murdering me. Still unsure of her motives.

The older Troll seems majorly upset. The younger Troll got in her face and made a series of grunts and chirps and groans. Then younger ground out NOW. Older Troll immediately gathered up trash and took it out. Dishes are being washed and also washer is now going. The older Troll seems to be scared of the younger Troll. Although the older one doesn't seem to like it. She grumbles loudly while she does what she's ordered to.

Troll Father left at what I am assuming is the same time as yesterday. I can only guess what he does while gone. He has been known to return with fish. Smiling proudly, and saying goood dinnner yess, then proceeding to bounce up and down while looking at you with his pleading green eyes, begging tonight night-night. Thankfully at this point, he runs outside and in a gurgly voice sings what sounds like Ozzie.

Toothless finally made an appearance. Upon her seeing me, she ran and jumped into my arms. She meowed and purred some, but something seems to have spooked her. She won't allow me to set her down, but she was also attacking my arm, wrapping herself around me. Knowing this was her way of letting me know she was hungry, I carried her to the food bowl and filled her dry up, and put out a spoonful of wet. Being small, she really doesn't eat much at a time. Toothless is now in her flower pot, recharging her roots.

Hour 174? 177? Of Quarantine

Troll Father is gone again. I assume for the day. He never says where he is going and he's so cranky in the mornings, I'm scared to ask. Every day he leaves he takes a big red cooler from the house. I can only imagine what he has stored in it. He's probably smuggling Dr. Pepper, candy bars, and toilet paper from the house.

Speaking of toilet paper. I caught the younger Troll Snapchatting pictures of her and the hard-to-come-by rolls. I wasn't going to ask her why, just turn and leave the room, but she was quick to offer an explanation. "Fool boy flexing his money. Fool boy trying to act rich. I flex him back. I win win. TP is worth more than $20. TP is the new gold."

Both Trolls are asleep at this point. They both have gotten to where they will sleep til my stomach says it's lunchtime. Then both will get up and expect breakfast and get upset if I serve lunch.

Troll Father, who usually can't hear anything said to him when you are in the same room as him, has suddenly developed super duper hearing. He swears that a fart 3 rooms away woke him up last night. He also said if I cough one more time......(unsure what he will do, but now I'm scared to go near my nebulizer since it makes me cough more at one time....). Father Troll is not taking Quarantine very well.

The beagles are all lying around the younger Troll. They appear to be guarding her while she sleeps. This Troll, out of all of them, seems to be handling quarantine the best. Although I have caught her several times counting how many servings of Dr. Pepper we have left. I do believe that is her only worry at this time, along with running out of Toilet Paper.

The older Troll is becoming more antisocial and very foul-mouthed. It's almost as if she wants everyone to stay away from her and never talk to her or anything. She doesn't want 6 feet between her and anybody. She wants a closed door.

The chickens seem to think everyone who comes out of the house is supposed to have treats for them. I have caught Troll Father feeding them from the window in his den. The younger Troll seems to like the chickens the best. She will actually allow them to climb up on her and perch. The chickens allow her to catch them.

Our supplies are diminishing. Some are going fast. The toilet paper is getting low. Dr. Pepper is quickly depleting. Flour and sugar diminished. Canned milk is low. Cheese is enough for an omelet. Ice cream sandwiches are gone. We have plenty of eggs because of the wonderfully productive hens I have. I'm just hoping we can make it to Friday and that what I need is on store shelves when I go.

There are times I feel we are all alone in this world. We go days without seeing a soul. I try not to think too much about it than I already do. I wonder if we will ever go back to normal, before the days toilet paper wasn't so hard to find. Before toilet paper became the new paper money. The biggest plus to come of this, the Trolls have not been yelled at for clogging the toilet up with too much paper.

Hour 190 of Quarantine

For once I am sure of the hour. I had to leave the house to make a supply run today. As soon as I entered town, the alarms on my phone went berserk! About scared me to death! I almost left it at home, too, but decided at the last moment to write a list of supplies we had to have in the notes of my phone. My phone kept time until about 30 minutes ago. I've been back at the Burrough for 3 hours now.

Last night the Trolls were up swinging from the ceiling fan last night for a good hour or 2 before Troll Father finally got up and roared in their native tongue. I had attempted to get them to calm down, knowing we all faced the wrath of the Father. I've never observed him so much as raise his hand to any of us, but when he roars, everyone gets extremely still and quiet. He has been rumored to shake pictures off of walls when raised his voice.

Troll Father again left the house today. When he leaves this early, he takes a red Coleman cooler with him. Today, I witnessed him packing this cooler. Along with the fixings to make a sandwich, chips, snack cakes and candy; he had added 3 Dr. Peppers, 1 roll toilet paper and 1 gallon water. When he returned home, this cooler was empty of anything but ice. Even the toilet paper was gone! Either he is eating all that, plus the toilet paper, or he has a secret stash hidden somewhere in preparation for him hiding away from everyone.

Out of all of us, Troll Father seems to be the most worried about contracting the virus that has us all in quarantine. He wants no one to come within 9 feet of him and he literally has thrown a temper tantrum because he had to touch something others had touched. If this was normal times, I'd consider having him evaluated for a white jacket.

Both Trolls seem to have called a truce for now. They have been playing their version of Uno. It involves a whole lot of squealing, snorts, maniacally laughing, with what sounded like timed farts. As they did not appear to want to murder each other, and there was a dense green fog poring from the front room, I decided to mind my business.

I've spent 8 hours searching every store, trying to find all the supplies we have to have. Toilet paper seems to be the first thing gone, so was unable to restock, looks like we may have to use alternative (how many rolls of toilet paper do these people need? Or are they eating it on sandwiches? I dread telling the little Troll to use a sock!). Dr. Peppers are getting low, but I was able to restock enough for a few days. Still unable to find pain medications, but there is still plenty of cold medications and nasal sprays. I was able to find most items on my list, even if it's in a limited supply.

Wal-Mart in town now has a sign placed on the toilet paper shelves. 1 package per customer, no more. Of course since no packages were there, I don't know if it's 4 roll packs or larger packs in the display, seeing as they were all sold out.

Little Troll seems to be less moody today. I'm unsure just what she is planning, but I do know she is planning on something. And what she is planning won't be good for any of us. She's been known to make 6 ft tall cat condos out of soda boxes....in the center of the kitchen floor. She's done what she calls science experiments that have exploded the microwave. She has been found hiding in the refrigerator. She even hangs from the top of doorways like a bat! Jump scare seems to be what she does the most. Although I have seen her creating intricate traps, that she claims is supposed to capture and render helpless her sister Troll. Out of all the Trolls, this is the one I fear the worst. Her intelligence is lightening fast.

Bigger Troll has been going around looking like she is about to cry. She is too social to be in quarantine for long. Like a precious flower needs sun, she seems to need the companionship of others her age. I worry about her shriveling up and withering. She spends hours on Snapchat, moping in here room.

The beagle named Duke has come inside smelling like something fresh out of Pet Cemetery. I do not know what he has found but he is ripe. I begged Troll Father to please make the owner of the dog to bath it. It has stunk up the house almost worst than Troll Father's farts. Bigger Troll is now in the bathroom washing her dog, more than likely with my bath products. She is not happy about the responsibility.

Toothless isn't liking all the commotion going on in the house. She has disappeared today. If she doesn't return by bedtime, I figure the beagles have finally chased her off, or eaten her. I know she will be extremely happy when quarantine is over and everyone reverts to their normal routines. Then she can spend more time at home, attacking me.

With the coming night, the Trolls are reverting to their customary behavior. They have the ceiling fan on high, DVDs and CDs blaring, and I don't know how in the world they've done this, but all my lights are flashing and blinking. All my lights. Including the oven light.

It's gotten warm enough, Troll Father turn the AC on for the first time this season. With the humidity and still air, the Burrough was just plain sweltering. Now, before bed, the house is comfortable.

I had to finally admit to the little Troll that none of us truly know how long this is going to last. That we could be quarantined until her 13th birthday, or even longer. Because so many people didn't want to follow quarantine guidelines because they choose to believe that it's all a hoax. So they choose to take a chance with endangering everyone else. The resulting roar from her tiny frame was enough to give me whiplash! Now I'm sitting here rubbing Aspercreme into my neck and shoulders, wishing I'd of kept my big mouth shut and just of told her that it'll all be over soon.

I may not have enough Dr. Pepper for a few days..... Definitely need more ice cream sandwiches..... May need to make another supply run.... Do need to buy next week's toilet paper.... I've about used up my stash of Aspercreme...... Need to stay in quarantine though.....

I'm going to lose it! I won't make it! Is there anyone out there