Just keep believing

“Just write!” I tell myself when, well, let’s face it no words come to mind. “Put your pen to paper and let your hand guide you, no, your heart,” I say. Frustrated with myself for not being able to write anything onto the blank page. Thinking I am not good enough or smart enough to write anything great, I neglect any reasonable idea or a decent paragraph that could be salvaged into a piece of work I may be tempted to be proud of.

‘Why’ questions are the most frequent visitors asking me, “Why can’t you just write?” or, “why can’t you be who you want to be?” And, of course, they are the most unfriendly and unwanted visitors anyone could possibly ask for to be knocking on the imaginary door in my mind, actually, harassing me. Unfortunately, they are the type of visitors who have no awareness of sympathy or compassion helping me no more than talking to a brick wall.

Well, it’s great isn’t it? This is what I always wanted when taking the journey of writing - thoughts bugging me daily about my worst nightmares of becoming a writer. Well, it's normal, right? I’m sure we do have to have a level of uncertainty with anything we do, I suppose it’s just how we move on from our worries to focussing on opening ourselves up and believing.

Hour after hour can go by with nothing scribbled or typed on the white, blank, empty page. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. And, nothing to me means I can’t write well enough to write anything or I don’t know anything about the world, which in my mind entails I have no experience or mature ideas to write about. Now, this is just downright stupid. Writing is a skill that takes many years to practise and master but it’s also a freedom to write your deepest thoughts, to be brave and courageous, speaking through your characters even in times of great grief and melancholic times. It’s not about the number of times you may not succeed but more to do with not giving up on hopes and dreams and continuing to persevere. And, becoming a writer is letting myself open up and trust myself in believing I can write, and I will do it, never minding how many pages I throw away, how many words I cross out in annoyance, or how many fictional people I conjure up telling me I can’t do it.

Reader, I think you should know I have a hard time……. how do I word it? Opening myself up and feeling my true and deepest feelings, which can honestly be an incredible nuisance. So, what I am saying is that it has been a challenge, a good challenge I might add, writing my feelings and thoughts down to have a clearer and more tranquil mind when I come to write. Nevertheless, I know I will have worrisome thoughts cross my mind from time to time but I know now that I can accomplish anything if I just look deep within myself and trust that I can do whatever I set my mind to. And, even if I fail time after time, I am strong enough and have the willpower to accomplish my dreams.

On a leaving note, I will share wise words that I will forever cling onto when I fail or succeed, “failure turned inside out is success.” So, reader, when I set out to write today, I expected to share something rather different; however, writing my thoughts and feelings onto this here page in this way is quite exciting, exhilarating even. That’s how it can be when things don’t always go as planned. So, no matter how many times you don’t succeed there is always a bright side to everything and your dreams and goals will come true, you just have to put in the work, understand that you will cross treacherous roads, but each day will bring fresh and exciting ideas to pleasure your adventurous mind.

So, fellow readers and writers, keep challenging those unwelcome ‘why’ visitors with an unwavering belief in yourself and you will accomplish incredible things.