I’m a Stone-Cold Killer and I’m Good At It

Sleeping very soundly

On a Saturday morning

I was dreaming I was Al Capone

There’s a rumor going round

Gotta clear outta town

I’m smelling like a dry-fish bone

Here come the Law

Gonna break down the door

Gonna carry me away once more

Never, I never

I never want it any more

Gotta get away from this stone-cold floor

Crazy

Stone-cold crazy, you know

Stone Cold Crazy, by Queen

I heard this song today while driving on our way to go vote. I started thinking about how much writing time I was wasting by doing my patriotic duty and heading to the polls.

Well, perhaps I phrased that wrong. Voting isn’t a waste of time. It’s important. So important, especially these days. And it’s not like I can fully blame going out to vote as the main cause of wasting writing time today.

That’s because I’m a stone-cold killer. What? No, I’d never do that. Even if my newest nickname is The Godfather of Medium. An Italian nickname. Well, it started out as “Fairy Writing Godfather”, from my good friend Mishel. I had to laugh at that kind compliment. But I modified it a bit. Still, she gets the credit.

So, a stone-cold killer? No. I’m A TIME-killer. I procrastinate far too often.

I suffer from procrastination like many others do. As a licensed real estate agent of almost 20 years, I always wait until the last few days of the two-year period we have to complete our continuing education. Then I piss and moan about having to cram 20 hours of CE classes into a few days.

Never mind the fact that I could do it little by little over the course of 730 days. Inevitably, I end up waiting until Day 727 or so to even start. I know this about myself. I accept this about myself. But I don’t have to like this about myself.

It’s been this way since I was a kid. Because I was a fairly intelligent child, I often could complete my homework or anything else I set my mind to in a quick amount of time. This led to my tendency to procrastinate like a champion.

If I could do my homework in ten minutes instead of an hour, why bother starting it so quickly? I could play for most of the time I had allotted for homework and then just zip through it quickly during those last ten minutes. I’ve always been a fast reader and writer.

This habit has followed me into adulthood. Having access to the internet and using it for far less-productive things than work did not do wonders for my time-killing skills. As websites like YouTube and Wikipedia became popular, so did the frequency of my getting lost down the rabbit holes of information.

I’m sure you’ve likely jumped on either site before and searched for the one video or page you were looking for. Then, because they often show you related videos off to the side on YouTube or clickable links within your main article on Wikipedia, you suddenly come to hours later at 2 am. I always think, “SHIT. I really need to get to bed. Damn you, Wikipedia!”

Being able to kill so much time online makes for a challenging writing environment for me. And it’s not that I’m always just dicking around on random websites. Often, Medium itself is the root of my procrastinating, time-killing evil.

I’ll be in the middle of typing a mile-a-minute, and then notice that shiny, green icon with a number in the middle of it. Jesus Notifications, another one. I get them often. I’ve woken up to 176 notifications overnight before. This morning it was 135. And damn it, I care.

So I check the notifications. I see claps, but I also see comments. I want to be a good friend and respond to every comment in a timely fashion. I work hard at my reputation here on Medium. I want people to think “Man, he’s a great guy. I love his writing, but he’s also a well-mannered, funny dude.”

It’s the least I can do for all of the love I receive here on Medium. And I truly do enjoy the people who take time out of their busy schedules to leave a comment and make me smile or laugh. Being a writer on Medium means so much more when you have friends you really enjoy.

So I procrastinate. I’m a stone-cold killer of time. Fortunately, I can type without looking at my hands and usually can crank out 60 to 70 words per minute. This serves me well when I have a great idea for a writing piece but have spent far too much of my time doing other things besides my actual writing.

I wrote and published 80 blogs last month. That seems incredible to me, but now I’m thinking about how many more I could have posted if I wasn’t a stone-cold killer of time. The Godfather of Medium could have written a mob novel if he wasn’t so distracted so much of his time. Marone!

I’ll get better at it over time. It’s all a learning process, this first year of writing full-time. I’m overall pretty happy about my level of production and the quality of the 340 or so blogs I’ve written in 2022. I’m hoping to reach 400 blogs published in one year’s time.

But I’ll need to ease up on the killing. Time-killing is my business, and business is good. I better retire the Tommy gun and stay on task. &:^)

“I believe ya. But my Tommy Gun don’t!”