I'm a NaNoWriMo 2021 LOSER

All month I’ve been getting promotions from NaNoWriMo encouraging me to order my 2021 “NaNoWriMo Winner!” t-shirt.

Their bright and chirpy email enthused: “You've spent the last few weeks focused on your novel, getting your ideas on the page, and writing with others around the globe. We want to be the first to congratulate you on your upcoming win. You've got this! Celebrate your novel, and order your 2021 winner shirt today!” While I had purchased a bunch of merch when I first signed up, this was a shirt that I wasn't going to buy. Not right now, not this year, for one simple reason: I won't be winning NaNoWriMo in 2021.

What exactly is NaNoWriMo? I’ve discovered that many people are in the know, and just as many have no idea what the strange acronym stands for. To begin with, it stands for “National Novel Writing Month” and it’s taken place every November for the past 22 years.

From their official web page:

What Is NaNoWriMo?

National Novel Writing Month began in 1999 as a daunting but straightforward challenge: to write 50,000 words of a novel in thirty days. Now, each year on November 1, hundreds of thousands of people around the world begin to write, determined to end the month with 50,000 words of a brand new novel. They enter the month as elementary school teachers, mechanics, or stay-at-home parents. They leave novelists.

NaNoWriMo officially became a nonprofit organization in 2006, and our programs support writing fluency and education. Our website hosts more than a million writers, serving as a social network with author profiles, personal project libraries, and writing buddies. NaNoWriMo tracks words for writers like Fitbit tracks steps, and hosts real-world writing events in cities from Mexico City, to Seoul, to Milwaukee with the help of 900+ volunteers in thousands of partnering libraries and community centers like… well, like nothing else.

NaNoWriMo is internet-famous. It’s community-powered (hello, Wrimos!). It’s hosted authors drafting novels like Water for Elephants, WOOL, and Fangirl. It’s a teaching tool and curriculum taught in 5,920 classrooms, and NaNoWriMo’s programs run year-round.

Whatever you thought NaNoWriMo is, it’s more than that.

Fueled by my recent writing success on the Vocal writer’s platform, and with the encouragement of many writing colleagues, I decided to give it a shot. I had a concept, a GREAT title, and felt like I could probably knock out 1500-2000 words a day if I really buckled down for an hour or so for thirty days. Plus there’s Thanksgiving break! I would have TIME to settle in and just let it flow.

But it didn’t.

I always say that September is my busiest month for my “day job” as a Behavior Technician for children on the autism spectrum. I work with kids, families, and schools, and this year was exceptionally challenging as everyone was going back to school after a year off due to COVID and there was so much to organize and update. My regular September chaos stretched into October and November as well.

I knew that participating in NaNoWriMo during November would be a challenge, but then a colleague gave notice, and I took over full time school support for our mutual client. With three other clients, a substantial commute, a life, and family, I was really not giving myself a lot of free time to write. I scheduled myself to work 46 hours a week, I didn't really plot my novel, and I found myself without time or energy. The first month that I worked the new schedule, I would get home a little bit before seven, usually eat something, then nearly immediately fall asleep on the couch. I was getting up at 6 AM and not writing in the morning as I usually do, and my expected free time to write in the evenings was largely spent with me snoring in front of the TV.

Unfortunately, I also found myself not writing ANYTHING ELSE. If I had a great idea for a short story, interview, or article that I would normally write and publish on Vocal, I would add it to the “idea list” and set it aside because “I’m busy working on my novel.”

Which I wasn’t.

There were other things that drew my attention: crises and issues to handle at work, emails to be sent, season tickets that I bought for a local sports team ended up taking a lot of my time to manage, birthdays, holidays, social events, all required time and attention.

Since I wasn’t producing, the stats on my short stories and features on Vocal have fallen off significantly. I forgive myself because I've been doing important work, and dealing with a lot of stuff, but I find that I'm now in a rut because there are only a few days left in NaNoWriMo, and I think that I may need to set aside my novel just so that my other subjects can see the light of day! I'm afraid if I stay in this "not writing my novel" mode that I'll lose the great momentum I've had with other writing.

I’ve seen some “push through” type of encouraging messages on social media, as well as daily “you got this” emails from NaNoWriMo. My friend and fellow Vocal creator, Les recently posted a meme of Professor Snape from Harry Potter scowling and saying: “shouldn’t you be WRITING RIGHT NOW?”

I decided that YES, I should be writing, but NO I should not be working on my novel. Not now, not until I’ve plotted it a bit more. I do tend to write by the seat of my pants and edit on the fly, but that’s not how I want to write my first novel. Neither am I going to pound out 40,000 words during the next week for the sole purpose of “meeting my goal” of having a completed first draft and earning my “NaNoWriMo 2021 Winner” status (and shirt) or the badges that go with it. I’m refusing to be motivated by guilt, peer pressure, or a sense of obligation.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, nonbinary folks and all good people:

My name is Allison Rice and I am a NaNoWriMo 2021 LOSER!

And that’s okay.

I’m putting a boundary in place – I’m going to work on some other writing so as not to overlook some great challenges, some seasonal stories, and other fun stuff. I want to embark on doing some INTERVIEWS for the new community on Vocal! I’m excited to improve my journalistic skills, and I already have three interviews lined up.

As someone who used to be very motivated by guilt and what I “should do” I’m really proud of myself for trying something new and challenging, and also for being capable of deciding that the time isn’t right, and that I’d rather do a good job than a rushed job, and setting it aside.

I’m a NaNoWriMo Loser. Where’s my t-shirt?