Changing the Narrative

Do you remember walking along the sidewalk with friends and then you passed a group of people and you were the one to walk behind the group to let the other people pass? Or how about that time your best friend got a boyfriend and you no longer sat together at lunch? Then there was the one time you and your friends went to the football game and someone had to sit separately and no one else volunteered so you ended up sitting by yourself?

Eventually, you start believing you are a minor character of your own story. You are not the star of the show and you let everyone else in the spotlight while you were just the back up dancer or your character that had one line. You get so tired of it and then one day you start taking your story in your hands, you are the writer remember? Why is everyone else the main character and not you? So let’s talk about changing your narrative.

You can find negativity anywhere you look. It can be as simple as groaning about Mondays and how you need to go to work. It can be the fact that your alarm woke you up because you need to go to work. It is very easy to complain about anything. It is just as easy to find something positive though; the simple fact that you have a job in this economy. Knowing that you’re happy and doing well enough that you can physically wake up every morning. It can be tiring to be an adult I know I do, but everyday I feel grateful for the job I have and I look forward to going into work. What’s the worst that can happen? I get busy with tasks? Honestly, it is not as bad as you think. I look forward to the fact that I can have Starbucks in the morning and if not that a good cup of iced coffee. I like that I can walk to work if I really wanted to. Now, changing narrative isn’t all about changing your mindset but it’s making you the main character of your story.

How does one make oneself the main character though? I know myself pretty well and I tend to people please a lot. Overtime I’ve given myself the freedom to say no to something I do not want to do; telling someone I want to go do this activity, and if they don’t want to join me, I can do it on my own. The feeling is liberating, I still struggle with speaking out about my own opinion to controversial topics such as child bearing or gender pronouns. I think what really made me accept this is a single quote: “people do not think about you as much as you think” and knowing that alone has given me so much more confidence it’s astounding. It’s okay to be weird, everyone is, everyone has a weird quirk and if you accept your own quirks the easier your life will be. Making friend as an adult is much more challenging and we should not have worry about others so much.

It is okay to keep opinions to yourself sometimes, especially, if you know it’ll lead to an argument about it. Which, in turn might destroy a friendship or a relationship, but to a certain degree. Obviously, if you have opposing opinions to your partner there is bound to be an argument that will lead to a break up because you can never decide on anything to agree on. However, friendships are less likely to burn because you can have a good time and not talk about those topics.

I hope in the long run this helps you decide what is important to you.