Andrew Lloyd Beaver PA | Know Social Awareness: Avoid Telling People Bad News At The Wrong Time

Honesty may be a great policy, but if you are honest at the wrong time then it becomes a different story,

But there are only a handful of disasters you have chances of avoiding in your social situations and choosing the “bad time” for delivering “bad news” is one of them.

We all know we often get lied to, betrayed to, or targeted by someone in our life, there is absolutely no reason to not expect that, as we are human beings after all.

But understanding this and being aware of the current situation and the tone around you can help you to avoid the “awkward long silence” or “I’ll break the messenger” type of situation.

Unless the news is important, time-sensitive, and really urgent then it’s a different case, you should deliver that news as soon as you could, it may avoid any more bad accidents, complete failure of your work, or might even save somebody’s life.

So let’s jump in on the art of delivering the bad news at the right time:

1. Advise a solution:

The best way to give the person you are confronting some relief is by slipping a solution while breaking your silence.

By suggesting the solution not only do you make them feel relaxed but you also take the control of situations back in your hand.

And as humans, we hate doing things out of our control, so understanding your options and being flexible with them can help you get better outcomes when it is over.

In personal and professional life if there is a scope of action then taking it can distract you and them from self-loathing, self-doubt, and sadness.

This is also the best way to avoid the wrath of their anger on the messenger which would be you.

2. Expect impolitely:

When delivering the bad news, know that it is not about you, it is about the person you are delivering it to.

And a piece of bad news is exactly that... bad news, people hate it and oftentimes vent out their frustrations on the messenger.

This is not always personal or how they may actually feel about you.

But expecting that the recipient could be understandably upset and angry can help you not take the attacks personally or allow them to take the best of you.

Knowing what to expect can make it less likely that you would feel sorry for yourself and make more things bad for the recipient.

3. Be empathetic:

Don’t be overly emotional and rude while delivering the bad news to the person, and I am not just talking about simple manners but understanding what the other person might feel can help you understand what needs to be said and what should be the tone of the conversations.

If you are trying to tell your coworker they are about to lose their job, don’t be blunt and acknowledge their emotions.

Negotiating with them or arguing about their choices that lead to this decision can only make the situation worse and may look rude and unprofessional.

Know how the recipient would feel so that you can help them, offer some sympathy and do your part.

4. Sugar Coating could make it worse:

After reading the last point you may think this is counterproductive but bear with us.

Being empathetic and not judging the person is one thing, but making the bad news with some sprinkles of goodies can give them a “false hope” and may lead them to something worse.

A lot of people can understand when you are full of BS, and therefore at times of crisis, this can only lead to more angry and intense conversations.

Being up to the point and being honest is the key here, sometimes you need to stick to the cards to put your best foot forward.

Of course, you can give them breaks by being empathetic but don’t overdo it.

5. Give them facts:

We all know our emotions can kick in at the wrong time and make us overthink literally everything and therefore when you are confronting the person you should give them facts and reasons on why certain things happened.

Doing this can help them find the root of this mistake, and may focus their efforts on fixing it.

Although not every time people just go super productive just after hearing their world has collapsed, sticking to the facts is one way to be honest without being too brutal, which often happens as soon as people say “To be honest...”

So try to be unbiased, keep your calm and go for it.

Why is a straight-up approach isn’t always right?

As mentioned in the introduction, unless it is time-sensitive and urgent you should hold your silence and keep your calm for a while.

Here are the reasons to prepare yourself first before opening your mouth:

A person may already be in a bad situation like say they just lost their loved one and therefore learning that worse things are not over yet can really make them more depressed and sad.

Simply stating bad news without any solutions is the quickest way to make someone instantly angry and dwell on their situations and it becomes hard to come out of that.

Breaking the silence at the time of that person's relaxation, like if they are on vacation, can ruin their peace of mind and make it even worse.

Be honest, be empathetic and drop the news.

Thank you for reading!