Good evening.
My name is LeeAnn, and I am the nursing assistant working with (insert nurse's name here.) I will be with you..
Oh, I’m sorry? You need to use the restroom? Sure thing, ma’am. Let me assist you there.
Pain meds? Water? Ice pack? No problem! Let me get your water and ice, and inform your nurse about the need for pain meds. No problem.
Another patient rings before I could find the nurse. Management said to answer the lights promptly. I answer the light.
Accident? Full bed change. No problem sir!
I leave to get a bed change. The bathroom bell goes off. Yes ma’am, let’s get you back to bed. No, I did not forget about your ice and water. Nor did I forget about your pain meds. I will be back momentarily.
Oh no, bed change. That’s first. I can’t let him lay there. Bed sores? Laying in feces? No. Bed change, water and ice, pain meds.
I bathe my patient.
Another light. Accidental call. Vitals.
It’s been an hour. I’ve still not had a chance to let the nurse know about your meds. I haven’t gotten your ice water or ice pack refilled.
I am sorry.
I know you don’t believe me. I know you’ve heard it a million times. You’re in pain, you’re sick, I understand. I am truly not trying to upset you or leave you in pain. I really do care. We’re short staffed, extremely, but I cannot tell you that. I am doing my best. Please don’t yell at me.
Excuse me, nurse! This patient is asking for pain medicine.
CODE BLUE.
Drop everything and run...
Patient is on end of life. Family needed a break. I’m going to skip my lunch today, to sit with her. I’m going to hold her hand and pray with her. I’m not religious but she is. We’re going to talk about her life. I’m going to engage. She lights up talking about her children and her husband. Talking about her accomplishments. My heart is full listening to her. I wash her hair, style it the best I can. We laugh, as much as she can. We joke and talk like old girlfriends.
I come back the next night. Her room is empty. She made it home, she just wasn’t discharged. My heart breaks. She was so young. (86 is the new 68). I have to go on taking care of my other patients. The thought of her lingering in my mind.
CODE BLUE.
Oh, right. Compressions. Staying alive theme. What’s the doctor saying? I can’t hear him over the yelling. We have a pulse. Rush to the unit.
Clean up the room. Ice water and ice pack.
Finally delivered. Now, you’re screaming at me. Asking for my supervisor. I comply. The patient is right, I’m not doing my job.
I finish out my night.
I sit in my car and cry.
My patients were alive when I left. But I felt my job was incomplete.
Dear patients,
I am sorry. I am sorry, that you are sick. I am sorry that you are in pain. I'm not the nurse, so I am just the middle man for pain medications, but I will try to make you comfortable. I promise, when I do something, it is in your best interest. I know my limits and I know yours. My job, which I am extremely prideful about, it’s to keep you safe and alive. You have every right to be upset and agitated when you’re sick. I am too. But please don’t yell at me. I will sit and talk with you when I can. I will ask you questions and I will try to understand. I will comfort you and your family, when things are uneasy. I would take your pain if I could. I will hold your hand when you are scared. I will pray with you, no matter who you pray to. I will feed you, even if it takes two hours. I will bathe you, even when you’re embarrassed to have to rely on me. I will explain what I’m doing, before I start to touch you. I will jump for joy when your results come back negative. I will be your biggest cheerleader when you walk for the first time after surgery. When you pass, I will sit in your room and pray. I will wash you and gown you, before I send you. I will give you the same dignity in death. While I am caring for you, I will take every step necessary to make you happy. But I am only human. I will advocate for you, even when you’re yelling at me. I will stand to protect you, when you’re unable to protect yourself. I will be, absolutely everything you need me to be. I will not be your punching bag.
They say, during orientation, to not get attached to your patients. Don’t take your work home with you. And I try not to. How could you not? I talked to a 106 year old war vet, who came home to marry his sweetheart. I talked to a nurse. A mother. A caregiver. I’ve seen the battle scars. And heard the stories. I’ve seen my patients in their best and worst moments. I gave them the first real conversation in years, and I was interested, even if they thought I was just being nice. I do get distracted trying to care for all 17 of you. But I won’t leave you until my promises are fulfilled. I won’t take my lunch or my breaks, just so I can give you a warm bath and brush your hair.
When I clock in, my political and religious beliefs, stay in the car. My prejudices stay at the door. My home life, is at home. When I clock in, you are my responsibility and I will not leave you lonely.
Trust in me, as your caregiver.
Trust in me, as your friend.
I will not give up on you, even when you’re giving up on yourself.
About the Creator
Leana's Day
Said I can't wait till He wipes every tear from my eye. Said I can't wait till He wipe every tear from my eye. He's gonna wipe every tear from my eye oh my. He's gonna wipe every tear from my eye oh my. I could hear the choir from church now practicing over and over again. As the church was not too far from my home. My grandmother who raised me and gave me everything that I had. She taught me to revere God. That even though sometimes He works mysteriously that things would work out. My parents lost custody because they became too poor and the bills add up. But I respect them for giving birth to me and helping grandma pay the bills. My grandmother taught me how to read and write. She taught me how to be a good person. And she made sure that I did really well. I remember how she was there for me each time rain or shine. And I loved her dearly. When I graduated from school, she was old but still strong strong like Black Coffee in the morning. She would always sing in the morning, sing when she was working, sing when she was cooking. And eventually she taught me how to sing. I loved this song of hers. Sweet Lord Sweet Lord why don't you come by here. Ohhhh Sweet Lord Sweet Lord we need to hear from you. Sweet Lord Sweet Lord you know you are needed and your people want a touch from you. I could not afford to go to college because I did not have the funds. I was one of the smartest students, did really well in school but I could not afford the funds. So I worked at a coffee shop and I met some church folks. Hey Leana aren't you Mrs. Betters' grandchild. I was shy at first but gave in. Yes it's little Leana. I love this job. It pays well and I could make an earning. The folks said I bet you know how to sing because Mrs. Betters was known for singing. Boy she could tear a house down with her voice. Her voice is like an angel. Sing for us. Go up on stage and sing for us. I resisted I don't know. Singing ain't gonna pay my bills. Now just enjoy your meal and I will let grandma know about it. The folks said You know God. God doesn't like people hiding talent. God doesn't like pride. God gave us talent to used when we go through something and to give Him the glory. That's what Bishop Press said. And I shyly went away politely. After sometime, I thought of what they said in the back of my mind while working. And my friend Jenne said Leana you worked here for years and they did not give you a raise. They gave that other new girl a raised. I said Jenne mind your business. My grandmother really need the money plus she let me get things. And I can't afford college. Jenne said Girl they are using us, they are keeping the tips and they are making us work overtime for free. I said What? I am calling the manager because that is robbery. I am not gonna work for free and not receive benefits. So I quitted working and asked to speak to the manager. Mr. Bryant I can't work for free. I got to pay bills. My grandmother depend upon it. You can't expect people to be loyal to a job that uses them. Mr. Bryant said That's the rule if you don't like some of our practice. You are welcome to leave. We have a strict budget and we can't afford to pay overtime. I said Well it's not like you have paid for me for my overtime and you never gave me a raise in upton amount of years. I should just walk out. Mr. Bryant said if you quit then you are not welcome back. I walked and said fine. I hugged and said good bye to Jenne. Jenne said Girl what are you gonna do. I said I got something saved up. And I started singing my way out. Doesn't make a difference what you say. Doesn't make a difference what you do. Doesn't make a difference unless you be true. O Help me Lord Help me see my way. As I was walking home, I had to figure my life out. I passed the playground and my old school just when the sun was setting and walk two miles home with some food and water. I felt the gentle breeze and got out of the way of the fast moving cars. I came home early asking for my grandmother. And my mother showed up, Leana why aren't you at work? I said Mom they cheated me over and over again. And I ain't gonna be cheated. I worked there for years no raise. But they gave it to a new girl. Mom said well maybe you can work for the church. I said the Church oh no no no. Mom said Remember child your father and I was paying your grandmother's bills. We were the people behind her care for you. And now it's time to grow up and be the woman we know you are. We have somethings. You are not alone. And we can fix those years of struggling. I said Mom you weren't there for me. I forgive you. And grandma told me you cared but let me choose my life. I started walking toward the stairs. Mom said Leana Bishop Press is coming by to offer you a job. I suggested you get ready and suit up because you will serve in the church. You will sing for her. And I meant that. I said Oh Mom. Then Bishop Press with church staff came by around 7pm. And they were talking to Mom and chatting for hours. And Mom called me. And I said Mom where is grandma. Mom said she is out with your father. They are shopping. I said for what. Mom said what do you mean for what? Maybe a gift for you. I can't tell. I said Alright Mom I will do it. I ain't got no job anyways. Mom said Sing without the piano and then with. I sang Jesus Jesus give me this day. My daily bread and let me see no evil. I want to walk with you. I want to be with you. Heaven's my true home. Take me there someday oh someday. Then the ministers clap loudly. And Bishop Press said Why am I hearing her now? Child God took that job away because He has big plans for you. You can be somebody. And forgive that job that was just a stepping stone. Let go. Life is too great to be angry. Life is too great to be ugly. Life is too great to be miserable. God is life and life abundantly. Trust Him to supply your need according to his riches and glory. And let the ulginess die, let people who bring out the ugly in you I mean it let them go. Let situations that bring out your worse let it go. Let the pain, the offense, and the hurt go. And I turned to my Mother with tears in my eye and said Mom I love you and I love Dad. I forgive you for not raising me. Mom cried I tried but they took you away. We tried but you're okay and we never stop fighting for you. And I hugged Mom then I played the piano singing Dear Jesus I love you. You are where my source come from. You are my help. You are my strength. I will always trust you. I will always obey. For Dear Jesus I love you. I love you.
By Matthew Primous5 days ago in Journal
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