5 Mistakes to Avoid When Writing Romance

Lust is about looks, love is about connection - romantic love, and romance, is somewhere in the middle. Creating this unique and potent experience as a writer is one of the most challenging parts of the craft (at least I think so). There are a million writing blogs, magazines, and gurus out there eager to tell you how to write better romance, but less information on how people most often go wrong.

The truth is that it's rarely down to writing technique. With the screams of legions of plummy literary types in my ear, I'll gently remind you that some of the most technically brilliant authors don't make a living from their books. That doesn't take away from their talent, of course, it's a symptom of one thing; they're writing for writers, most popular, widely loved authors write for readers. The very best, for example, Terry Pratchett and Barbara Kingsolver, do a bit of both. I'm boring you with this for a reason; the biggest mistake romance authors (or arguably any author) can make is to prioritize prose over storytelling.

The Importance of a (Good) Story

With the exception of very few, very esoteric, books which have gained cult acclaim, the majority of the novels you see in libraries and shops have a story. Storytelling is the heart of fiction writing, and in the romance genre, it is doubly important because the relationship is the story.

When writing horror, atmospheric descriptions may smooth some rough edges, in thrillers the plot is often an excuse for heart-racing action. In most novels, the story is the skeleton on which the book hangs - it's hard to have a firefight or a haunted night without the shadow of a story, after all. If the writing falls short, the plot will seem bare and lifeless, but the structural integrity should keep it upright... should.

In romance novels, the story is more of an exoskeleton, holding the writing, the imagery, the ideas, together. Take away the story and all you have is a pile of love-coloured goo - romance and lust are so integral to our lives that setting one up doesn't need the same rigmarole as setting up, for example, a zombie apocalypse. That's why each of these mistakes, at their heart, is a mistake that compromises the structural integrity, or even the presence, of the story.

5 Critical Mistakes That Will Kill Your Romance Novel

Romance writers face a constant balancing act between building tension and keeping the reader happy - when a romance is the meat of your plot there are so many things that can prevent it from being effective. Each of these common mistakes could leave your romance novel dead in the water.

1. Using Lust to Build Instant Love

While it's true that the average romance will begin with some kind of physical attraction, many readers have become jaded by the idea of instant love or 'love at first sight'. This very idealized notion was once considered the height of romance, probably because of the societal norms which made it taboo to engage in a deep, prolonged relationship before marriage. These days, writers and readers both tend to opt for steadier paces.

The main exception to this is, of course, the erotica genre where the attraction itself is the driving force and meat of a story. Learning to write better sex scenes is crucial for this genre, because sexual compatibility is often the catalyst for deeper trust, risk taking, and the development of a connection between catagories.

For mainstream, Christian, or 'soft erotic' romances, however, the industry (and reader) expects a more robust set of reasons for a charcter to be together. Step away from the lust to love funnel and instead consider slower, more organic options. A friends-to-lovers plot, for example, is considered plausible, romantic, and provides more steam for a slightly longer and more intricate plot.

2. Too Much Hesitation

Will they? Won't they? Some hesitation over whether a couple will truly end up together is a time-honoured plot device in romance because it works. However, there is the possibility of having too much of a good thing - drawing out the tension for too long can cause readers (and publishing house editors) to abandon your book in frustration.

Guaging the correct time to bring characters together definitively is tricky, and it's often a matter of experience as much as storytelling. The simplest way to get an idea of whether or not it is time is to ask whether there are any plausible, established reasons as to why they can't get together.

If the only thing keeping your characters apart is your desire to up your word count, you've definitely overshot the mark. Conflict and severe differences in beliefs, views, or moral values are good examples of why characters may plausibly stay apart. Consider that timeless classic Jane Eyer - Jane leaves because Rochester lied to her and because he was already married. She lost trust and, furthermore, refused to be a mistress. She returns after the source of their ideological mismatch is removed (poor Bertha) which is a plausible (if somewhat suspect) reason for her to reconsider her stance.

3. Lack of Conflict

All stories need conflict to engage the reader. Without conflict there would have been no need for Bilbo Baggins to leave the Shire - without conflict, the kids of Derry, Maine, would have lived their lives in Killer-Clown-Less obscurity.

In romance novels, conflict often arises because of the nature of the romance. In period pieces this may be conflict surrounding social class or nationality, while in modern pieces these conflicts can be as minor as social norms ('I can't date my sisters ex!') or as big as financial warfare ('They're trying to run me out of business!'). The conflict in a romance novel often dictates the structure of the plot, so having a romance story without it is hard.

4. Romanticized Conflict Or Abuse

As always, there is another mistake at the extreme opposite end of the conflict scale. A romance novel which is riddled with explosive, needless, or even oppressive conflict can quickly turn into a horror story. Top romance writers like Jacquie Collins, Nora Roberts, Jude Devereaux, Pippa Grant, and Georgette Heyer have all fallen afoul of this, and while the industry is more forgiving of this mistake, readers can be brutal.

It's understandable, of course. The romanticisation of controlling, oppressive, stalker-ish, or downright abusive behaviours can be seen in novels of all ages and subgenres. From Edward breaking into her house to watch Bella sleep in Twilight to Noah scaring boys away from Elle and rendering her romantically isolating in The Kissing Booth many examples are easy to disguise as romantic. Some, however, like Christians bold-faced statement "if you say no, you say no. I'll have to find a way to persuade you" in 50 Shades of Grey are far more alarming.

Conflict in romance novels is defined as something that tests the relationship or threatens to separate the couple. Think, agonizing about whether or not to travel thousands of miles away for a job, or having concerns about a partners job (soldiers, for example, can find it hard to maintain romances due to long-term deployment) rather than a partner who creates conflict by being verbally abusive or a habitual liar.

5. Fridging the Hero/Heroine

One of the biggest mistakes that romance writers make when creating their story is fridging the hero or heroine. Friding is defined as unecessarily killing off a character (usually female) to motivate another. In some romance novels, like P.S. I Love You, the death of a previous lover is integral to the plot, and it can certainly be heart-wrenching when done correctly.

But, and it's a big 'But', many romance writers kill off a character because they can think of no other way to sufficiently shock the reader in a way that will elicit an emotional response. Unlike the character death in The Fault in Our Stars, for example, which is foreseeable and fits with the plot, a badly thought-out character death can undo all of the hard work you have put in.

Killing a love interest is risky as a matter of course because so many readers are hungry for that HEA (or 'Happily Ever After') ending. When it makes sense, for example in You, it may be greeted with sadness, but the experience will be positive. When the death is undertaken simply to provide a resolution, for example the death of Padme in Star Wars, it will provoke annoyance. In a story with other things going on, like Star Wars, this mistake may be forgiven. In a story where the romance is the main focus, it could be disastrous!

Question Your Motives and Consider the Outside Perspective

As is so often the case, wrting a good romance story is a matter of practice as much as inspiration. Drafting, planning, and the consideration of trusted outside opinions is crucial to making sure that your idea blossoms into its best possible form. Take some time away from a draft and return to it with fresh eyes. Ask yourself:

• Is the plot robust enough?
• Are my characters plausible?
• Is there enough conflict?
• Is the relationship engaging and attractive to readers?
• How can I improve?

Engaging the help of beta readers and reading positively recieved contemporary romances will help you to get a feel for what themes and issues are commonly accepted and handled by the genre. This is by no means a set of rules that you must follow, but it pays to know what is considered 'industry standard' - don't fall into the trap of thinking that you have nothing to learn from the veterans. Different may be interesting, but not all truly original works are actually good. Sometimes conventions and cliches are in place because they work so well that everyone picked up on them - take what you can from the common tropes and themes, then try to make them your own.

Above and beyond all else, remember that romance writing is as much a craft as any other form of fiction writing. Practice really is important, and there is no such thing as a wasted product. Every story you write, no matter how flawed, represents a step in your journey and that is a thing to be truly proud of.