Welcome to Texas

Well, hell. My weather app says it's 92 degrees. The really bad news is that it's 10PM. I fell asleep while watching TV again. It's kind of a tradition: One of us picks something to watch. It starts, I sit back, and Pam wakes me up when it's over.

I suppose that temperature should be a relief. The high was 102 degrees again today. Tomorrow? They're predicting 103. I'm not feeling relieved.

Those temperatures are in Fahrenheit, just in case you were wondering. And yes, the air conditioner in the window is on, running at High Cool. The air flow is high, but cool, it's not. There's another unit in the kitchen window and they're both running at full capacity. It's just not enough in the Texas heat.

So, I rise from my chair, my shirt soaked. This love seat will not be moving to Wyoming with us. Sweat leaves permanent stains.

I'll wash up before heading to bed, but it's pretty pointless. The temperature in the bedroom is the same, and that's only because there's a fan set to move some of the “cool” air that direction.

Honestly, I shouldn't complain. Our dogs are truly miserable. Did you know that dogs body temperatures are significantly higher than ours? Yeah, they get a head start in the race to heatstroke. So, they're both panting, communicating as dogs do, with a look that says, “What the hell are you complaining about?”

Yeah, they're right, although in my defense, I do use a cool, damp cloth on their underbellies and paw pads, as the vet recommends. That's usually good for about ten minutes. Our girls do not like Texas summers. I don't really know how to judge whether they'll like Wyoming any better. Either way, I know we'll make do.

(Side note: I accidentally typed “make doo” and almost left it that way. We all do “doo”, you know? )

I do think they'll adjust pretty well. They both have fur coats that can't be hung in the closet for warmer weather. Come to think of it, that's something they'd probably benefit from right now.

Honestly, it's warmer in Wyoming than normal now, too. I should explain that “warmer” doesn't translate to “hotter than the fires of Hell”. Coincidentally, that's the exact definition of the word in the Texas dictionary. Rumor has it that they actually invented heat right here. Those of us living here know that's not true. God simply decided to have a little fun with it, since they say everything is bigger here.

You know what? I can actually hear him laughing at us as he burns the flesh off my bones when I have to step outside. His counterpart in that other place is laughing at our electric bill, thanks to the 2 window units pumping lukewarm air twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. Yeah, back at ya, Scratch. Thanks for moving in. I ran into one of your demons a couple of days ago. Well, I talked to her on the phone, actually. She works for the support team for my cell phone carrier. To be fair, maybe it's just the heat getting to her, too.

So, here we are, Me, Pam, Gypsy and Ursula, baking in this little oven disguised as a rent house. The girls are currently wondering if this is really what we had in mind when we went to the shelter to rescue them. Pam is already in bed and I'm going to let the girls out to “doo” their thing one more time. I mean why not take advantage of the 85-degree breeze for a minute, right?

I hope you enjoyed this little peek into our evening here in the great state of Hell on Earth, USA. If not, I have to say I don't really give a “doo” shit at the moment. It's too damned hot! Nighty night!

Thanks for reading! I'd love to say this is fiction, but it's not. The termperatures, at least, are all too real. Please do take a minute to leave a comment. I'm gonna go strip and get into bed, on top of the covers. Pics pending! (Not really. You're welcome!)