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The Salt

Comedy TV Show Pilot

By Salomé SaffiriPublished about a year ago Updated about a year ago 6 min read
The Saltshakers that started Charlie's adventure

TAGLINE

It is a rare talent to perceive the whisper of the Universe. It is an even rarer one, to drastically misconstrue the obvious signs.

LOGLINE

Charlie embarks on a wild adventure following the messages he receives from a ghost of his recently deceased mother, via a can of expired alphabet soup.

DRAMATIC QUESTION

Will the adventure lead him to his desired goal or to a morbid outcome?

SYNOPSIS

The Salt is a dark comedy series exploring the process of grief through the different lenses of perception: One being a possible schizophrenia offset, fueled by loss and suspected drug abuse. Another - trust in serendipity, and seeing the answers in seemingly innocent events.

Charlie goes through stages of grief, supported only by a fragile thread of sanity and his loyal, life-long friend Ray. While organizing his mothers' possessions, Charlie receives a mysterious message, in the form of swollen glutinous letters at the bottom of the soup bowl. Being a believer in all things mystic, Charlie follows the ongoing glutinous clues. The soup clues take Charlie on the adventure of a lifetime, while his trusted friend Ray takes the brunt of it, only trying to help Charlie process the grief after his mother. The question arises: Will Charlie risk severing the final thread to his sanity by killing Ray or will he find peace in the final stage of acceptance?

Characters:

Charlie, the hero of this epic. His biggest talent is, most definitely, the ability to perceive the whisper of the Universe. However, in this particular moment it is next to impossible for Charlie to determine whether his life is good or bad. The string of seemingly serendipitous events that are happening to him, are instantly followed by the imminent string of zemblanity, keeping his life in a curious, self-leveling balance.

Ray, exhaustingly selfless support character. A childhood friend, who thinks most highly of Charlie and explains his antics as a reaction to stress. Ray happens to be an insurance agent, serendipitously investigating the arson of the restaurant, where Charlie worked.

Aubrey Pan, a nurse in training and Ray's girlfriend; and her Scottish Mum - tertiary characters. Living across the hall from Charlie, they have a completely different outlook on the situation and the mental state of their neighbor.

The Old Couple. Drug mules with alluded ties to Charlie's mother.

Police Officer Potts and Mr. Potts, the restaurant owner. Serendipitously placed in Charlie's path a father-son duo, unsuspecting of their mutual ties to the troublemaker. Officer Potts issues Charlie's vehicle two tickets within one hour, and suspecting the vehicle might be one currently searched for, tails it. Serendipitously stumbling across the warranted drug Mules, "the Old Couple", at the diner, where Charlie pulls in.

PILOT: "ZEMBLANITY"

Charlie is sitting behind the round, cluttered kitchen table, scraping the spoon mindlessly on the bottom of the bowl. The rusty opened can of tomato soup is lying on the table, dripping orangish goop on the plastic tablecloth. Charlie is in stupor, trying to process the state of his mother and the pitiful state her apartment is in. He remembers the time when he returned from school and Birdie, his mother, took him on a road trip to buy the said alphabet soup. Birdie claimed that this soup was being discontinued and she had to travel two hours to a remote little counry store that still carried it. On the way back they stopped at a vintage diner, where Birdie ate her soup and Charlie ate the fries. Charlie recalls the dialogue between them, when he asked Birdie if they could go to Zion national park. In response Birdie formed an answer with the remaining glutinous letters in her bowl: "Somdey".

Image created specifically for this story via Bing

Charlie looks at the pile of unpaid bills and faded red notices, pondering where he will get the money to pay it all, now that the restaurant where he works has just burnt down. Suddenly the letters at the bottom of the bowl begin to wiggle in places forming the words: "GOLD SALT". Charlie's eyes round, as the realization of what this message means, sinks in. He begins turning the cluttered apartment upside down. Soon his stomach growls in disagreement with the expired soup. Charlie darts out of the apartment to buy the antacids.

Meanwhile Aubrey is arguing loudly with her Scottish Mum on the subject of dating. Their accents are very heavy. Fuming with anger, with poorly done eyeliner, Aubrey darts out of her apartment, slamming the door behind her. Charlie also springs out of his apartment, standing awkwardly on crossed legs. Young people look at each other startled. Charlie asks Aubrie whether she is single, keeping his single friend Ray in mind. At the same moment Charlie's stomach gives out, releasing a loud and deadly sputtering. The suffocating smell fills the narrow hallway of the apartmen complex quickly. Aubreys eyes round, she opens her mouth in shock, regretting it immediately. Mortified of what has happened and WHAT he is feeling, Charlie tenses up and waddles backward into his apartment, without breaking an eye contact with Aubrey, all the time smiling intensely. As soon as his rear is back in the apartment Charlie shuts the door quickly. Stupefied by the entirety of her morning, Aubrey hastens to leave the apartment complex, to go on her date. Aubrey’s Mum opens the door and shouts in Aubrey’s back:

“Hoor” and then quietly adding “oof, what’s that smell!”

Ray and Aubrey meet at the bistro for lunch. Aubrey is sharing her morning, and that an insane new tennant has shown up all of a sudden across the hall. He is acting disturbingly and has just asked her out, farted on her and crabbed back into the apartment. Ray, worried for her well-being, promises to walk her back home and have a word with the “freak”. Meanwhile, Ray shares that his Childhood friend Charlie is in town, and he wants to introduce Aubrey to him.

“-Great guy, “Salt of the earth”” Says Ray

Confined to the bathroom, Charlie texts Ray to bring him Antacids. Ray says that he is on a date. Charlie counteracts, telling Ray to ditch whatever mop he is seeing, because Charlie has found a “Perfect Tart” for Ray already, but will only introduce her to Ray if the latter brings him Pepto, and as soon as possible.

Apologizing for cutting the date short, Ray fills Aubrey in on the new plan. Together they will deliver Pepto to Charlie, Ray will introduce Charlie to Aubrey, then Ray will take Aubrey home and have a word with her freak-neighbor. Aubrey agrees.

Image created specifically for this story via Bing

Ray and Aubrey leave the pharmacy, heading to Aubrey's apartment complex. All the time Ray tells Aubrey stories about Charlie, his inventions and stories from their childhoods. Ray has never been to Aubrey’s apartment before, because her Scottish Mum has moved in a while back and has very particular feelings about men. Nevertheless, Aubrey is surprised that Ray already knows where her complex is, heading in its direction with certainty. She is a little unsettled that he knows her address, because she hasn’t given it out to him. Aubrey is even more surprised, when they enter the right building. She begins slightly panicking, when they approach her floor, and stop by her apartment. She begins thinking that Ray is some stalker maniac, and that “Mum was right, you can’t trust men”, when Ray turns and knocks on Charlie’s door.

Charlie opens the door, expecting to see Ray only. He is wearing only boxers and a t-shirt, jeans bunched awkwardly around his ankles.

“-There! That’s the freak!” Suddenly yells Aubrey, pointing her finger at Charlie in a completely different kind of shock. Ray darts rounded eyes at Charlie yelling out in surprise:

“-That's the tart?”

“A TART!?” Yells Aubrey offended

“Pepto!” yells Charlie, grabbing the bottle from Ray's limp hand and shuffling on half-bent knees back into the depth of the apartment.

Aubrey puts everything together. She says:

“You interrupted our date to help out this schizo?” Ray, the slower one to put things together, looks at Aubrey in confusion:

“This is Charlie!” Aubrey peeks inside the apartment taking in the disarray. She notices several pills scattered under the side table.

Suddenly a calm voice behind them says in a heavy Scottish accent:

“I was wondering what brought all this ruckus... the hoor of Babylon, I see. Well, come in then!” She Ushers Aubrey inside the apartment, giving Ray a dirty look. Ray moseys into Charlie's apartment, shutting the door behind him.

ComedyWriting

About the Creator

Salomé Saffiri

Writing - is my purpose. I feel elated when my thoughts assume shapes, and turn into Timberwolves, running through the snowbound planes of fresh paper, leaving the black ink of their paw prints behind.

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Comments (3)

  • Robert Beckerabout a year ago

    Where Zemblanity meets serendipity at the intersection of irony. Well done.

  • 🎬Great job 😉❤️❗

  • Chris Stokdykabout a year ago

    This is wonderful! More of this!!!

Salomé SaffiriWritten by Salomé Saffiri

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