Jokes
They were the Best of Memes, They were the Worst of Memes
I'm seriously out of control! Someone should seriously stop me! I'm having too much fun! Okay. I won't stop. I published this stuff originally in a Place-That-Shall-Remain-Nameless (š¤the Journal Community) before there was a proper place at Vocal for comedy. Recently I've been migrating shit over here, where it belongs. I've updated this routine and removed all those contagious Covid jokes that weren't funny at all. All they did was cause inflation. My Bad. š¤·
By Lightning Bolt ā”2 years ago in Humor
We Don't Stop Meme-ing Because It Grows Old; We Grow Old Because We Stop Meme-ing . Top Story - April 2022.
I've written several 'comedy routines' inspired by the memes I yank from my Facebook feed. I call this series Meme-ing For Laughs. I started writing this crap a long time ago, before Vocal had a Humor Community. I'm now in the process of migrating all those guffaws over hereā to their proper place in the Humor Community! This one previously won a Top Story thingie!!! ā”šš
By Lightning Bolt ā”2 years ago in Humor
A Brilliant Saturday Morning Joke!
In the vibrant and bustling town of Lagos, there lived a spirited young boy named Tunji, affectionately known as "Tunji the Storyteller." His laughter enchanted everyone, and his jokes were so delightful that even the goats lounging in the sun would bleat joyfully whenever he passed by, their ears perked up in excitement. One brilliant Saturday morning, with the sun shining brightly and a gentle breeze rustling the leaves, Tunji decided it was the perfect day to unveil his funniest story yet. He gathered a crowd of eager listeners in the heart of the town, climbing onto a small hill that overlooked the lively market. As he settled himself, the townspeople clustered around, their faces lit with anticipation. "Once upon a time," he began, the corners of his mouth curving into a mischievous grin, "there was a clever farmer named Baba Shola, who lived on the outskirts of town. One day, he purchased the smartest parrot in all of Lagos. This parrot was extraordinary; it could imitate any sound with astounding precision! You would sneeze, and it would cheekily sneeze right back at you. Youād cough, and it would dramatically moan, 'Ah, I'm sick!' just like a seasoned actor." The crowd erupted in chuckles, and a cheeky boy from the back shouted, "What happened next, Tunji?" "Oh, you'll love this!" Tunji replied, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "Baba Shola had a plan brewing. Thinking to share the parrot's talents with everyone, he decided to take it to the market for a grand display. But just as they were nearing the bustling stalls filled with colorful fruits and vegetables, the parrot whispered with a twinkle in its eye, 'Baba Shola, wait! I can do something even better than mimicry! I can dance!'" Gasps of surprise echoed through the crowd. Even a chicken, strutting across the road with a nonchalant cluck, paused to listen intently. "Baba Sholaās jaw nearly dropped in disbelief. 'Show me!' he exclaimed, unable to contain his excitement. And to everyoneās amazement, the parrot burst into a lively rendition of Azonto (Popular dance in Lagos), shaking its feathery body to an invisible beat! The townsfolk watched in awe, clapping along to the rhythm. But suddenly, disaster struckāBaba Shola's hat flew off his head and, in a flash, a cheeky monkey swooped in and snatched it away, joining in on the dance!ā The crowd leaned in, their eyes wide with anticipation. "While the monkey swayed and twirled with Baba Shola's hat perched jauntily on its head, the poor parrot stood to the side, utterly confused, looking around like, 'Did everyone just forget about me?!'" Laughter rippled through the audience, and an old man doubled over, wiping tears of mirth from beneath his glasses. But Tunji wasnāt finished yet. Feeling a bit embarrassed for his feathered friend, Baba Shola decided to make amends by treating the parrot to something special. He dashed over to the sizzling pepper vendor and asked for the hottest pepper in the market, determined that a little spice would teach the rascally monkey a lesson. With a dramatic pause, Tunji lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper, heightening the suspense in the air. "But as the aroma of the scorching pepper wafted towards the parrot, it screeched at the top of its lungs, 'Baba, that pepper is too hot! I came here to dance, not to eat fire!' And with that, off it flew, soaring over stalls and vendors, squawking like a wild siren!" The crowd roared with laughter, some holding their sides in mirth. Tunji's best friend, Sola, was laughing so hard he could hardly contain himself. "That parrot is wiser than you, Tunji!" he teased, shaking his head. With a playful shrug and a sparkling wink, Tunji replied, āMaybe so. But I know one thing the parrot definitely didnāt figure outā¦ā The townspeople leaned in closer, curiosity written all over their faces. āI know where Baba Shola hides his secret stash of suya!(Roasted beef)ā And with that, the crowd erupted into cheers, chanting, āTunji! Tunji! Tunji!ā as the storyteller beamed proudly, his job was complete. From that day forward, the people of Lagos understood one undeniable truth: if there was a story worth telling, Tunji the Storyteller was the one destined to share it.
By Usman Saheed2 years ago in Humor
When the Meme-ing Gets Tough, the Tough Get Meme-ing!
I published a bunch of stupid memes a while back, with the intent of titillating! This stuff was originally published in the Journal Community. I decided to tweak it & migrate it over to the correct location (the Humor Community that didn't exist when it was originally conceived. š¤Æ)
By Lightning Bolt ā”2 years ago in Humor
Brahma Rakshasa and Fear: The Paradox of Knowledge and Torment
Brahma Rakshasa and Fear: The Paradox of Knowledge and Torment The concept of the Brahma Rakshasa finds its origins in Indian mythology, weaving a complex narrative about fear, knowledge, and the consequences of untamed ambition. A Brahma Rakshasa, as described in ancient Hindu texts, is a learned soul who, despite attaining immense knowledge of the Vedas and scriptures, falls prey to arrogance or fails to pass on his wisdom selflessly. As punishment, he is cursed to exist as a Rakshasaāa demonic entity. This being, who once embodied enlightenment, now roams the earth in a state of torment, consumed by an eternal struggle between wisdom and his monstrous form. The story of the Brahma Rakshasa is a deeply symbolic one, offering a profound exploration of fear, regret, and redemption. At its core, it asks us to reflect on the nature of fear and how even those who possess knowledge and power can be overwhelmed by the dread of unfulfilled duty and isolation. The Duality of the Brahma Rakshasa To understand the emotional depth of a Brahma Rakshasa, we must first appreciate the duality that defines him. Once, he was a Brahmināa scholar revered for his wisdom and mastery of the sacred texts. Yet, despite his knowledge, he is cursed to become a Rakshasa, a being feared and shunned by society. This transition from a respected figure to a feared demon represents a fall from grace, one that carries immense emotional weight. The curse of the Brahma Rakshasa reflects the deep fear that even the most learned can faceāfear of isolation, of being misunderstood, and, most importantly, fear of failing to fulfill their responsibilities. For the Brahma Rakshasa, the torment is not just in his monstrous form but in the knowledge that he once had the power to uplift others, but failed. Now, in his cursed existence, he is driven by an insatiable hunger to recite and share the knowledge he once hoarded, yet his demonic nature ensures that his words fall on deaf ears, and he remains trapped in a cycle of loneliness and regret. Fear as an Emotional Consequence The fear that haunts the Brahma Rakshasa is not the ordinary fear of physical harm or death but a profound existential dread. It is the fear of irrelevance, of being forgotten despite once holding the power to shape the minds of generations. This fear is one that resonates with many of us in our own lives. Consider the example of a teacher who, after decades of imparting knowledge, retires with the hope that their wisdom will continue to influence the world. Yet, as time passes, they realize that their teachings are fading, and the fear of being forgotten sets in. This fear, much like that of the Brahma Rakshasa, stems from the knowledge that while they had the opportunity to make a lasting impact, they may not have done enough. Similarly, many of us fear that our efforts, our knowledge, and our contributions may one day be rendered meaningless. The Brahma Rakshasa embodies this fear, reminding us that knowledge without selflessness, wisdom without humility, leads not to fulfillment but to torment. Fear of Redemption Another layer of fear that defines the Brahma Rakshasa is the fear of redemption. While cursed, the Brahma Rakshasa has the chance to redeem himself by passing on his knowledge selflessly. However, the fear that he may never find a willing listener or that his words may never have the impact he desires keeps him in a state of emotional paralysis. This fear of redemption is mirrored in the lives of many who seek forgiveness or a second chance, but are haunted by the fear that they may never be able to undo their past mistakes. For instance, a parent who has neglected their child in their early years may, in their later years, seek to rebuild that relationship. Yet, the fear that their efforts may be too little too late keeps them from trying, trapping them in a cycle of regret, much like the Brahma Rakshasa. The emotional weight of this fear is immense. It reflects the human tendency to cling to the past, to let fear of failure prevent us from seeking redemption. The Brahma Rakshasa, despite his vast knowledge, is a slave to this fear, reminding us that even the wisest can be crippled by the fear of facing their mistakes. The Role of Humility in Overcoming Fear At the heart of the Brahma Rakshasaās tale is a lesson about the power of humility. His curse is a result of his arroganceāhis belief that his knowledge set him apart from others and entitled him to hoard it. In this way, the story serves as a cautionary tale about the dangers of pride and the importance of sharing wisdom selflessly. Humility is what ultimately allows the Brahma Rakshasa to seek redemption. By recognizing that his knowledge is not his alone to keep, he can begin to free himself from his curse. However, the fear of being rejected, of being seen as nothing more than a demon, often keeps him from fully embracing this path. In our own lives, humility is often the key to overcoming fear. By acknowledging our limitations and the role that others play in our growth, we can move beyond the fear of failure and isolation. The Brahma Rakshasaās journey reminds us that wisdom is not a solitary pursuit but one that is meant to be shared, and in doing so, we can find peace and fulfillment. Conclusion: The Legacy of the Brahma Rakshasa The Brahma Rakshasa is a deeply emotional figure, embodying the fear that even the most learned among us can faceāthe fear of being forgotten, of failing to fulfill our potential, and of being unable to redeem ourselves. His story serves as a reminder that knowledge alone is not enough; it must be tempered with humility, compassion, and a willingness to serve others. In the end, the Brahma Rakshasaās curse is not just a punishment but an opportunity for growth. His fear, while overwhelming, is also a catalyst for change, pushing him to seek redemption and reminding us that it is never too late to overcome our own fears and strive for a life of purpose and meaning. Like the Brahma Rakshasa, we may all face moments of fear and regret. But if we can learn from his story, we can find the strength to confront those fears with humility and grace, ensuring that our legacy is one of wisdom, service, and lasting impact.
By Dipak Pawar2 years ago in Humor
The Meme-ing of Halloween is Candy
Happy Halloween, fearless readers!!! š š¼šµš¶ It's the most ghastacular time of the year!! š»š»š» This funky, spunky, chunky, phantasmagorical edition of Meme-ing Madness was originally published in the Journal a previous Halloween, before the creation of a Humor Community. This collection of monstrous insanity has been revamped for the holiday at hand! It comes with an especially wicked _____WARNING!!!
By Lightning Bolt ā”2 years ago in Humor
The hero animals
Frog Sometime in the distant past, in a lake settled somewhere down in the woods, carried on with a frog named Freddie. Freddie dislike different frogs in the lake. He was more modest and more vulnerable, and his voice was not as clearly or as thunderous as the others. Different frogs frequently ridiculed him, calling him powerless and useless.
By nadia khanom2 years ago in Humor
A Career Writing Objective Exceeded Times Two
Many of my reader(s) know that in my long career in various research microbiology roles there had been one career goal I had consistently failed to achieve. Since my earliest days of graduate school I had longed to contribute an original joke to the pantheon of classics that make up the niche oeuvre comprised of jokes about microbiology. In October of 2019 I finally stumbled upon one, and it was a beauty. Simple, elegant, funny, but only to a select group of fellow nerds, and best of all I could not find, nor have I yet, found a record of it having been thought of (or at least written down) previously. That joke has rapidly ascended to become an all time classic and is below.
By Everyday Junglist2 years ago in Humor
The Great American Debate A Tragedy of Errors
Quirkville was a sleepy little village near the centre of political pandemonium as the 2024 election season went into full swing. That was the general consensus amongst the residents of Quirkville, anyways āeach of its many occupants going about their daily lives in a similar 'out-of-the-box' way that made Quirkville one unique place to live. This year, they held a series of candidate debates in the American presidential race, hoping to spice up the usual bland political events.
By Nazmul Hossain2 years ago in Humor
