ComedyWriting
What Happens When the “Mother of Invention” Puts You Up for Adoption?
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By The Pompous Post5 months ago in Humor
Murphy Has You on Speed Dial (And He’s Not Leaving a Voicemail)
There are people in this world who float through life untouched by the universe’s cruel little pranks. Their toast lands butter-side up, their headphones never tangle, and they’ve never once stubbed their toes on a table leg… And then… there’s you.
By The Pompous Post5 months ago in Humor
BREAKING: Local Man Explains the Entire Plot of a Movie He Hasn’t Actually Seen, Based Solely on the Poster
CHIP VAGUELY (Anchor Desk, visibly exhausted): Good evening, I'm Chip Vaguely, and welcome to Channel 8 News. Where the truth doesn’t just come out… it rambles for several minutes first.
By The Pompous Post5 months ago in Humor
ALERT: Groundbreaking Study Reveals Cats Are Not Napping - They’re Recharging for Their 3 A.M. Zoomies to Nowhere
By The Pompous Post™ Investigative Lounge Division In what experts are calling “the most important breakthrough in modern domestic science,” researchers at the National Institute of Pet Behavior have confirmed that cats are not actually sleeping during the day. They’re recharging their internal chaos capacitors in preparation for their nightly ritual known as “The Zoomies.”
By The Pompous Post5 months ago in Humor
Local Man Argues with GPS, Accidentally Unlocks Its Toxic Personality Settings
A Scenic Shortcut to Madness It started innocently enough. Gary Whitmore, 43, of Dayton, Ohio, slid into his 2019 Toyota Camry and keyed in his destination: a Home Depot located precisely 12 minutes away. A quick trip. A routine errand. Nothing could possibly go wrong.
By The Pompous Post5 months ago in Humor
I Communicated Entirely in Auto-Complete Suggestions for 24 Hours. My Final Words Were “Sorry for the inconvenience.”
In an age where technology claims to make our lives easier, I decided to put that promise to the test in the dumbest way possible. For 24 hours straight, I vowed to communicate only through the power of auto-complete text suggestions. No original thought, no clever phrasing, just whatever three cursed words my phone decided to offer me at the time. Why you ask? Well… because we were bored.
By The Pompous Post5 months ago in Humor
The Boredom at the End of the World
I was 27 years old when I died. One of the thousands of members of The 27 Club that remained in obscurity through the shear bad luck of being born with no talent whatsoever. Just another slug sliming across the garden of life, maybe hoping for a nice lettuce leaf to settle on, only this particular slug happened to find himself taken out by a line of salt. In my case this manifested in an undetected heart condition and a tendency to spend extended periods of time in self-imposed isolation. It was weeks before they found my body, bloated and purple like an inflated grape, pretzeled in the bottom of my shower tray where I had collapsed.
By Kevin M Fell5 months ago in Humor
Bae Jokes That Are Cute, Cheesy, and Full of Love
“Bae” is one of those words that instantly adds sweetness to anything. It’s short, catchy, and packed with affection. Whether it’s used in texts, captions, or casual chats, it always brings a playful tone to relationships.
By JokeJester6 months ago in Humor
Hilarious Jokes That Hit Hard and Leave You Laughing for No Reason
Laughter doesn’t always need a complicated setup. Sometimes the funniest jokes are the simplest ones—the kind that catch you off guard and make you laugh before you even think about it. That’s the magic of truly hilarious jokes.
By JokeJester6 months ago in Humor
1950s Jokes That Are Rock ‘n’ Roll Funny and Sock-Hop Ready
The 1950s had a very different rhythm. Drive-in movies, soda fountains, jukebox music, sock hops, and shiny chrome everything set the tone for everyday life. It was a time when teens danced in poodle skirts, cars had fins, and people said things like “gee whiz” without irony.
By JokeJester6 months ago in Humor
The Pompous Post Welcomes Harold Hindsight, Our New In-House Medium
Here at The Pompous Post, we are proud (and somewhat nervous) to introduce our newest member of the team: columnist “Harold Hindsight, Medium and Overseer of the Enlightened.” Harold claims to see beyond the veil of time itself. According to Harold (and Harold alone), he has already helped thousands of brothers and sisters reach their “best selves”. Though none of them could be reached for comment. His résumé includes healings of mysterious ailments and horoscope readings so accurate they could have been copied and pasted from a fortune cookie. The locating of “lost relatives” (most of whom happened to be at Applebee’s), and regular chats with the dearly departed.
By The Pompous Post6 months ago in Humor
