“Straight Love”

Thanks to Mariann Carroll, a great interviewer and writer friend, I am using this short story as a pitch for the challenge for a TV comedy (dramedy)pilot. Here is the first pilot episode(that can be broken up into a series) that can show you the story, characters, and how the idea of “straight love,” can be a very beautiful thing.

—-

My best friends Tim and Cat and I go to the movies every Saturday. It is our thing, I swear. We've done this since middle school. If one of us is short or broke, we cover each other. We are all very close. My mom says we are like Elaine, George and Jerry from Seinfield. We always date other people but end up single and back to hanging out with each other. “Single and back to the lonesome pack, huh, Derrick, honey!” she’d tell me. Haha, very funny, ma. I never got that weird show! They actually do laundry in an episode... Oh wow! So funny! Not.

But, oddly enough, it was true. Cat would date guys but end up single within a few weeks. Tim would date girls and they'd only last a month, maybe two. I'd date girls, and it would last about the same. In the end, we would always have our Saturday night movie meetings. Now we are all close to graduation. Tim is the only one with a car and picks us up in this lime green abomination of a Chevy truck that Cat calls, “The Blob,” and we all steal a cigarette from Tim’s pack hanging off the top of the dash.

“Hey! Those aren't free! HEY!” Tim yells as he swats at us playfully and Cat giggles, her button nose wrinkling as her blonde curls falls past her face. Her hair brushes my face as we settle and I feel a strange tingle up my spine.

Cat and I sit in the back and struggle to find comfort or space, and she fake punches my shoulder as I inhale my lit cigarette, making me cough.

“You asshole!” I say, coughing as she laughs loudly.

She rolls her blue eyes as Tim turns on some music. “You're the jerkwad who isn't giving me space!”

Tim clears his throat in an obnoxious way. “And aren't gentleman supposed to give the ladies the most space?” he turns, winking at both us in an overtly lascivious way.

We both crack up and Tim blinks quickly in a awkward way, to show off his non-existent, “big lashes that could destroy the world,” like 2-D from his favorite band Gorillaz.

“Those baby browns aren't enough to turn me on!” Cat admonishes, and Tim frowns into a deep pout.

“Awww, por que? But Pedro Pascal’s butt can make you sink into your chair and turn into a tomato, eh, ese?” Tim quips back and Cat goes silent, her cheeks going red.

Tim and I laugh loudly and she growls at us dangerously.

“Oh come on, Cat, he's kidding!” I mumble and she rolls her eyes, taking out her phone.

“Maybe Cat-Girl likes green eyed guys with no butts!” Tim teases again, looking at me with raised brows. He sometimes likes to play matchmaker and assume one day Cat and I will be together and leave him alone. I don't understand it. Cat and I were friends longer and for a while before he came into our group, but still. I think he gets jealous.

Cat growls and throws out her cigarette through the half open window, and flicks at Tim on his face with her pointer finger.

“Ohhh, struck a nerve....” Tim says under his breath.

“Shut up, man!” I say finally, feeling my neck heat up.

“Hey! It's all good, homie. I am just playin’. If you all can't take a fuckin’ joke in my truck...”

“Just because you're giving us a ride... You don't have to taunt people...” I say with barely constrained anger. Tim flips me off and I frown.

“When is the stupid movie starting?” Cat asks.

“In thirty minutes. Enough time to get popcorn and get our good seats...” Tim answers in a stiff voice. Cat hums a non-committal response that sounds positive, but mostly sarcastic.

“I think we have seen literally every movie that's come out this year. Don't you think, guys? I was thinking of it earlier... I looked it up and I feel like we are breaking some kinda record...” I ramble on, trying to break the weird mood Tim set off.

“Asteroid City looks pretty good, I'm sure it'll be bonkers...” I keep talking and no one is responding.

“Bonkers?” Cat laughs. “You are such a nerd.”

Tim pulls into the cinema parking lot and lights up another cigarette.

“Your mama taught you well, Derrick. You don't curse. Not even when Cat isn't around. Such a good guy,” Tim teases me, blowing fresh smoke out the window.

“I don't mind curse words, honestly. It's overuse that is annoying. I feel its overcompensating for something. Like a having a lime-green truck!” I say and Cat laughs in a high pitched squeal.

She claps and unbuckles her seatbelt. “Okay! Let’s go you freaks! I’m ready for some perfectly symmetrical scenes for no reason and dead-pan humor!”

“Hah! Meta-humor! So original…” Tim jokes and we all get out.

“Ready? It’s time for our big debut…” I say and Tim rolls his eyes but nods as Cat joins us.

We all interlock arms and sing, “We’re off to see the wizard!” as we go into the theater. The moon is out but it still looks like day. Summer can really mess with your internal clock.

We all tease each other and sometimes argue, but I know we really care for one another.

Cat has nothing on her, so Tim pays for all of us tonight.

Cat is scrolling through phone and shows me some stuff she has been working on for art history.

“I have to do a paper. But all I can do is keep looking at this painting! I watched Elfen Lied and it has inspired art based on Klimt for the beginning credits. So… I am… obsessed…!” She clutches her phone like a string of pearls (a phrase my ma taught me) and bites her lip, showing me the art.

“Is that a show or a movie?” I ask.

“Oh, Elfen Lied?” She asks and I nod. “It’s an anime. It’s about unexplored trauma and deep sadness. It made me sob all day when I watched it!”

“Anything about that kind of heavy stuff is hard for me to watch. Like… because of my dad and his heavy drinking days…” I say and she nods understandingly. I had told both Tim and Cat of the worst of my memories before my dad abandoned my mom and I. They were the only ones I trusted.

“I understand, that shit is heavy. I wouldn’t want to be reminded of it unless I had to be,” she smiled at me with this sweet, empathetic warmth and I felt my heart melt.

Tim comes back with the tickets and sees the painting, admiring it. “I like that. It looks like a melting pot of golden pussy I can dip into. Just take the dude out of the painting and I’ll be good.”

Cat sighs, putting her phone away.

“I wouldn’t mind either way. The way they are embracing feels so safe. It’s a very beautiful picture, well, painting…” I say and she smiles as we go into our theater room.

“Really? You wouldn’t mind…” Cat starts to say and Tim shushes us as we go and get our seats.

The movie goes over my head. I can’t stop thinking of the painting and what Cat was about to say. I feel like something about it is crawling into my chest and melting into my pores, my veins, my bones. I keep picturing Cat and her eyes, lips, hair. The electric waves I feel sometimes when I get too close to her. The way she methodically fixes her blonde eye brows in the mirror and her hair always a mess.

Cat never had friends that were girls. Only us. Maybe the one off acquaintance that was a female. Never a true friend, however.

She wrestled with us, cursed, joked like a sailor. She even dressed like a tomboy.

She had relatively feminine features… but…. Something about her was different.

And I am… what did I mean?

Shit.

Did I mean that I didn’t care if I was with a guy or girl?

No. No.

That’s gay. Gay? Was I gay? Is that why I could never keep a girl? Is that why all my girlfriends never stuck? How we never got past second base?

Then why is Tim single all the time? And Cat?

Suddenly I feel someone push me. It’s Tim.

“No mames, despertar, wey! You fell asleep during the film, you zombie!” Tim whispers harshly and I realize the film is over and he tells me Cat is near the concessions and wanting to play some games in the arcade before we go.

Tim and I walk over, and I feel dazed as I see Cat waving at us.

It’s when I hear Tim and Cat talking animatedly about the movie that I feel like I’m dying inside.

“Guys, I gotta tell you something…” Cat starts to say.

I shrug. Tim nods.

“What’s up?” Tim asks, leaning against a pinball machine.

“I noticed how you get much nicer after you watch a film you like, Tim!” Cat teases and he laughs in a raucous way.

“He is all sweet and thoughtful now!” I add and he growls.

“Callate!” He growls at us and we laugh.

“Hey! Don’t use that language at me!” She points threateningly at Tim and they play fight.

“Hey, you two need to stop or get out of the theater!” An attendant says to us and Cat and Tim dramatically back off and put their hands up, looking like they were deer caught in the headlights.

I crack up laughing so hard that they both have to practically carry me out of the theater.

I drop my black bag and Tim picks it up.

“What the hell is this fruity shit? You got a purse!” Tim declares and I frown.

“It’s a man bag. I keep my camera in it. Wallets wouldn’t be able to hold a camera.”

Cat nods, dusting it off. “I like man bags, it’s so niche.”

“You don’t take pictures of the best looking person in the group. What a waste!” He points to himself and I scoff.

“That’s not you, ya narcissistic hag!” Cat grimaces and hands me my bag.

“Thank you,” I say to Cat and pull the strap over my shoulders. Tim rolls his big brown eyes.

We get to the familiar lime-green truck and Cat says in a dead-pan voice, “I’ll need to know where Derrick gets them. After my transition I want to fit in and have a man bag just like him.”

Tim and I stop in our tracks and say nothing. We’re shocked.

Tim looks confused then flustered, leaning against his truck as if he needs the extra support otherwise he might faint.

I feel my heart racing and my blood boiling. My cheeks feel hotter than a overheated engine and I am still not speaking. Neither is Tim.

“Fuck guys, can one of you say something? Please?” Cat says, blue eyes narrowed but incredibly soft and nervous.

I stutter out a, “Trans-transition?”

Tim walks over and pats Cat on the back. “One of the boys, eh, chico?” He smiles in a nervous way. “I always considered you one of the hombres, anyways, Cat!”

Cat smiles back and they give each a side hug.

I am impressed and proud of how sweet Tim is treating these news… and I know I feel the same but I am feeling weird, too.

“Isn’t that right, Derrick?!” He signals at me to follow and I nod vigorously.

Can he read my mind? Ffffuuuck.

I go over and hug Cat, my very best friend and Tim gives me a warning look.

“We’re here for you, Cat,” I say and she grins, letting out a huge breath.

“Oh shit, I thought you guys were going to get all weird and be ready to be… I don’t know…” Cat starts tearing up, wiping her eyes.

Tim frowns. “Y’all are my family. I would never abandon either of you. No matter what. You know this.”

Cat nods happily and I smile as we hug each other tighter.

“Even if we want to kill each other sometimes?” I add and they laugh.

Cat nods. “I want to gut you two with your immaturity at times! But, I love you guys. No homo. I can say that now. Haha!” Cat turns and flips their hair, sticking out their tongue at us.

“Love you guys too!” I say and Tim rolls his eyes.

“Homos!” He yells and we all pile in the truck.

On the ride home, Cat shows me the painting again and asks me softly what I was going to say earlier.

Their hand touches mine and I let it rest there. I loop my fingers around their fingers. I hear Cat gasp a little and my stomach drops into an intense, fervent pressure in my lower extremities.

“I think I meant that it didn’t matter. I would be happy to be under any embrace.” I lean forward and whisper in Cat’s ear. “Male or female.”

Blue eyes widen and Cat gives me a beautiful smile.

“What y’all whispering about?” Tim yells.

“Art!” I yell back.

“Straight up. Y’all gay!”

Cat laughs. “Art doesn’t make you gay!”

“It doesn’t make you straight either!” Tim argues back.

We drop off Cat and Tim pulls over.

“What’s going on…” I start to say and Tim gives me a serious look.

“Dude. What is up? You’re in love with Cat. Aren’t you?” Tim says with the most passion I’ve ever heard him relay.

“What? No. No. I’m not.”

Brown eyes hit my timid green.

“Don’t fucking lie.”

I sigh. “Fuck it. I am. I am. God damn it all! I am so in love with Cat! I don’t care if Cat is a woman or a man… I love Cat!”

Tim whistles and snaps his fingers. “I knew it.”

“Shit. That hurts. To keep it in so long, I mean…” I say and he nods.

“Straight up love!” He says.

“It’s not straight. It’s… gay…” I whisper and he shakes his head.

“If you suddenly found your happiness and start walking things off like a man, speaking the truth, your truth, that’s straight love, ya know?”

I nod, a slow smile of realization on my face from my best friend’s words.

A few Saturday’s later, we have our Saturday night movie friend date as usual.

Cat is now Cato, and we are holding hands. This isn’t our first date. And as we watch the movie, I feel covered in a dark, warm embrace like The Kiss from Klimt as we watch the movie with Tim.

Tim brought along his girlfriend, Freia. They’ve been dating steadily now for a few weeks and seem like a very beautiful, devoted couple. We all are happy and looking forward to a future together in college. It seemed we just needed to realize all of our love for each other to really appreciate what we had to get where we needed to be.

After the film, we all connect arms and sing the same old song we always do about seeing the Wizard.

Straight love never felt so good and Cato (and Tim!)brought me there.