Stay In Your Lane...😁
Clan~Feather~Pool <Barbie Word Hunt Story>
Howdy Doll Clan! It's Doll Mommy here!
I'm sorry that I've been so out of touch. These youngins have been running me ragged with soccer, tennis, gymnastics, and volleyball practice.
Anyhow, let me get to the point of my text.
Remember my doll daughter, Promise? The little cute one with the bubble gum pink hair & the big bluish-grey puppy dog eyes? You know the one who wore a fur scarf around her neck in 85-degree weather last summer? ... the same one that I suspected was hiding a hickey underneath it...
Here's a quick pic to jog your memory:
Well, it turns out that my assumption was right. After a long, long, long interrogation, Promise broke down and showed me that ugly, little, feather-shaped, dirt-colored abomination on her neck, and boy did I hit the roof when I saw it!
Fortunately, it's not what you think, folks... Promise had what you call a Vac-Hickey. In other words, she had a hickey that she created with the end of a vacuum hose. Apparently, you hold the hose to your neck and suck away like you're Count Dracula.
Boy, these kids sure are a trip these days! 😱😂 Anyhow, it turns out that Promise created the infamous Vac-Hickey because she didn't want to be seen as a prude by her friends because she was 15 and had not french-kissed a boy yet. Apparently, she was the only girl on her gymnastics team that had not done so, and she didn't want to be made fun of or to feel left out, so she "faked the funk."😱
After I regained consciousness, I decided to cut Promise some slack. I remember doing dumb things to fit in as a teen too, like wearing butt pads under my Levi's to look as if I had more junk in the trunk.
Butts were all the rage in 92' when I was a little more youthful! And unfortunately, that Sir-Mix-A-Lot song 'Baby Got Back' only made matters worse for me because I was shonuff back-less, and the boys on the basketball team never let me forget it; they used to sing "Baby Got Pancake" in unison whenever I walked by because my behind was as flat as one! LOL 😂
I can laugh about it now, but back then, I was mortified. 😁
I didn't want to get caught slippin' in the second semester of my senior year; therefore, I started wearing those silly butt pads in my jeans. Unfortunately, as luck would have it, I was outed by my high school nemesis, Kaylee Bell, who jacked my butt pads from my gym bag after pickle ball practice one day.
Kaylee Bell had no mercy; after stealing my butt pads, she outed me to the entire lunchroom the following day. I should have slapped her to sleep like my favorite Aunt Willie Esther used to say, but I was a good girl, and I ignored it because I really should have just been happy with what God gave me. But most teens, especially us chicas, seem to have I-really-really-care-about-what-others-think-of-me-itis at that age, and I was no exception.
Although I may have had a pancake behind; my tummy was six-pack status back then, doll friends!
Ironically, I learned at our recent 30 year class reunion that Kaylee Bell had actually always been jealous of me because of my top-notch volleyball skills and my flat mid-section and it turns out that that is why she targeted me for ridicule. She came up to me at the reunion and laid that little juicy morsel of info at my feet while we were at the hors d'oeuvre table.
Kaylee even went on to apologize profusely for her behavior and she admitted that her stepmom was always ridiculing her for her thin lips and plus-sized figure back then, and as a result, she had picked up the bad habit of ridiculing others to make herself feel better. Looking back on things with that new bit of entail actually made me pity Kaylee. I never thought that I would feel that way in a million years, but hey, people change...
Anyway, back to the lecture at hand... I told Promise my pancake story, and I reminded her that I know what it feels like to not fit in but that she should never ever live her life for others, no matter what.
I also warned her to never sign up for a rollercoaster ride that she wasn't tall enough to ride yet because things would never end well. Case in point: My Big Daddy C (grandfather) knew a kid who snuck on a rollercoaster ride when he was eight and ended up urinating on himself during the ride because he was so terrified of falling out of his cart.
Unfortunately, the poor little guy had his little accident in front of his entire 3rd grade class, and from that day forward, he was no longer called by his given name: Peter Johns; everyone began to call him Pee Pee Johns. The dude is 85 years young now, and he still answers to Pee Pee Johns. I told Promise, please don't ever become a Pee Pee Johns! 😂 Please, please, please stay in your lane!
But don't worry about Promise, folks; I have a backup plan if my fine sermon isn't adhered to.
Guess what I did, friends...?
I made arrangements for Promise and her best friends Majestic-Journey and Earthie-Larue (isn't she the spitting image of Eartha Kitt?) to volunteer at the local daycare every Thursday afternoon after school for the next three months so that they can remember what kind of hot water a few too many hickies could potentially get them into. After running around after all of those ill-mannered kids for 4 hours each week, I guarantee you that Promise and her besties will be looking for the closest convent to enter when they finish their volunteer assignment!
And I see no problems with that, do you? 😂
Check out this picture from their first day at the daycare center. Promise and Earthie look like things went okay for them, but poor Majestic-Journey (the one in the middle) looks like she is about to go to the electric chair! LOL 😂
Welp, I'd better go. I have four loads of laundry left to finish! Then it will be time for a dip in the pool! Hasta Luego!
Sincerely,
Your overworked and underpaid Amiga-- Doll Mommy💃🏽
About the Creator
Tiffany Gordon
I am a super-spiritual, fun-loving artist, writer, & peer-counselor residing in the Pacific Northwest. I am also an Institute of Children's Literature alumna who enjoys writing about the triumph of the human spirit.
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Eye opening
Niche topic & fresh perspectives
On-point and relevant
Writing reflected the title & theme
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Expert insights and opinions
Arguments were carefully researched and presented
Masterful proofreading
Zero grammar & spelling mistakes
Comments (56)
Hahaha a vac-hickey. Love this Tiffany 💕
This is a nice piece @tiffany🤣🤣🤣..really well written💖
I am late to the party but so glad I made it!!! This is funny and unique and so so authentically you. Amazing. I love this. ❤️
Tiffany, I absolutely love this! LOL! I caught myself being transported back to high school from the moment I started reading. IT's so amazing the things we go through to fit in as kids. This was so much fun to read, and also educational. Thank you for the bright spot in my day! :)
Subscribe to my page and I’ll do the same :)
This was so fun and creative! Well deserved top story!
Such a fun and sweet story!! Very well deserved TS, too!! xxx
I absolutely loved this story!! Tiffany, from your doll babies' humorous antics to your memories -- and reconciliation -- with your old nemesis, this is heartfelt, humorous and such a great read!! ❤ My sympathies to the babysitters, may they learn their lesson. Books before boys, darlings!🤣
This is great! What a fun and creative piece! I love the voice of the narrator, your top story status is well deserved!!
Nice one
I always enjoy your doll stories!! What a great lesson in self-acceptance and consequence :) Kudos to you for a well deserved Top Story!!
I enjoyed the story great work!
Very well done. Filled with humour but also carries a strong message. Congrats on Top Story.
Nice
GOOD STORY <3
Interesting and educative
Haha, I can totally relate to those teenage antics of trying to fit in. It's great that you're teaching Promise the importance of staying true to herself. And kudos to you for arranging the volunteer work at the daycare center. That'll definitely give them a different perspective! Enjoy your time by the pool and take a well-deserved break. Hasta luego, Doll Mommy! 💃🏽😄
YES!! Congratulations on Top Story!! 🤗
Keep the good work I like this
This was great. I have a few barbies. I used to have about 20, but when my granddaughter got into them I gave most of them to her. I love making clothes for them. This was well-written and very amusing.
This was such a fun read!! 🤣😁👏 congrats!! Loved the daycare part hahaha
YES!! Congratulations on Top Story!! 🤗❤️
Congratulations on Top Story. I met Sir Mix A Lot once when I was growing up in Washington State.
Yesss! Congratulations on Top Story! 👏🏼💖💓
Your doll babies have so much❤️ This is so creative! Well done and tell Promise to stay clear of the vacuum 😊 Congratulations on Top Story ❤️