Simply a Misunderstanding

Lindsay,

Please accept my apology and know that I am ever so sorry!

I don’t know if that helps or not, but I’m absolutely mortified. So much so that I’m writing this letter to spare you—also myself, but mostly you—from any further discomfort.

(I’m kind of hoping that this incident has a short expiration date and that I’m still invited to your wedding.)

I was so grateful when I ran into you that day. I really thought maybe we were finding our way back to each other after all these years.

When the invitation finally arrived, I realised that the dress I'd bought for the party didn't fit the theme.

Now, I’m obviously not blaming you—I'm simply trying to explain where I went wrong and how things got off track so badly.

I confess—I was surprised by the invitation's design and the party being called "a lingerie party."

I don’t have a lot of girlfriends (actually, nearly none), so I have no idea how these things work. But you were kind enough to invite me, and I really wanted to get it right. So I went shopping again and bought a nice lingerie set—not too plain, not too crazy.

I assumed that somewhere in the middle is safe since you were throwing a lingerie party. But it was a little (a lot) bolder move than the version of you I knew years ago would've gone with. So I didn’t want to overdo it, but I also didn't want to disappoint you.

For a moment, a part of me did think it was a bit strange, because I remember you growing up in a modest God-fearing family, but then again—a lot of time had passed since we last spoke. What did I know?

Maybe religious married people do all kinds of fun things that aren’t allowed for singles and are never talked about with young girls as we were back then. I thought the party theme was maybe there to ease you into the secret life of married women or something.

You see, I was really trying to be open to things and let go of my prejudices. It’s actually something I’ve been working on for the past couple of years. With turning a new page in my life and all.

So I got dressed in the gorgeous lingerie and took a taxi to the address you’d given. I got a strange gut feeling again when I saw that the building was your congregation’s community house. But I shook off all the doubts that were creeping in—that was not how I wanted to start our new chapter.

I hung my coat on the stand in the hall and walked through the door that was decorated with pink and white balloons. I tried to stand up straight to look confident. I was set to leave a good first impression on you and your girlfriends.

Instead, I ran into your grandmother, who was getting lemonade at the drinks table. I honestly didn’t expect to see her there. And clearly the feeling was mutual.

She was mid sip when she saw me and I guess half the lemonade went down the wrong pipe. She started coughing terribly, so I ran over to help her by patting her on the back. I guess she didn’t want it, because she raised her hands to block me. But it was too late, I was exactly at her arm's reach so yes, she accidentally cupped a feel.

Her dentures flew out of her mouth as she was having a terrible coughing fit. She still didn't want my help, so I went to get her teeth instead, but they were slippery and glided under the table.

By that time, all of you had heard the noise and came out from around the corner to see what was going on. That’s why you found me on all fours, head-first under the chairs by the table.

I promise, I didn’t know the lingerie I was wearing was supposed to be your gift.

Lindsay, I swear, I wasn’t trying to do anything inappropriate. I didn’t mean to scare your granny or ruin your party.

And I only noticed one of my... girls peeking out, when I saw your cousin grasping the inhaler and crossing herself with one hand, trying to cover the children’s eyes with the other one.

It wasn’t intentional… It only happened because I was crawling on the floor, trying to retrieve your granny’s dentures. And since I was only wearing a lace bra, the chilly room didn't exactly help...

Please, let me make it up to you. I'll obviously apologise to your grandmother and cousin, and well... everyone.

Lindsay, you have to believe me—as bad as it sounds and probably looked—it was all an honest mistake. I’d never been to a lingerie party. I thought it was like a costume party, but... with lingerie.

Still hoping to be your friend again,

Amelia