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Rules To Waving To Pets

It’s come to my attention that not everyone knows the rules to waving to pets.

By Stephen Kramer AvitabilePublished 4 months ago 4 min read
Top Story - June 2023
Rules To Waving To Pets
Photo by Matthew Henry on Unsplash

It’s come to my attention that not everyone knows the rules to waving to pets. This is not something you just guess at. There is protocol. There are rules. It is an artform. It is a science.

Let’s go over the importance of waving to pets by highlighting a story where the rules were not adhered to.

I was outside with my dog. She was sniffing around, doing her business. Or scoping out a spot to do her business in. Across the street, I saw a man, 40’s or 50’s, walking his small dog. I am in my 30’s, if it helps you visualize. My dog is small too.

So, here we are, two adults, both out with our small dogs in the morning, on either side of the road. As a dog owner, sensing another dog owner, you usually acknowledge that the two of you are one in the same and exchange greetings in some form. I waved. He waved back.

Then, I looked at his cute, little dog. I commenced with how I wave to the dog. I slightly hunched over, maybe just a few inches. This does nothing practical, I am by no means closer to the dog. But it is the form one takes when beginning a wave to someone’s pet. My hunch… and my eyes redirecting towards the dog, signifies that I will now be acknowledging the dog.

I do not do my regular-full-hand-wave-at-a-human. I contort my hand into pet-waving form. The pinky finger and ring finger have been deemed useless, clutched up into the palm of my hand. I press my index finger and middle finger together, as if I am making one large finger. I stiffen my thumb. And I repeatedly bring the index-middle-finger down while bringing the thumb up in unison, resulting in what looks like an alligator’s mouth quickly opening and closing over and over.

I pair this with one of the classic “waving-at-a-pet” noises. I did not opt for the kissing sounds. I went with the more manly tongue-clicking noise. I will attempt to spell it out for you. “Tt-tt-tt-tt-tt-tt” similar to a “tsk-tsk” but far less judgmental.

Now, I have done this, the dog looked on, and what did the man do? He waved back to me in the same waving-to-a-human fashion that he just used!

No! I wasn't waving at you, man! I was waving at the dog! I just did a real cutesy wave at your cute, little dog… and YOU returned it, as if I was clicking my tongue at you and making little baby waves at YOU!

What he SHOULD HAVE DONE, if he wanted to emulate his dog waving back at me, he should have also hunched over like I was, and then said something to his dog like, “You want to wave back?” Or “You want to say hi?” And THEN done a similar cutesy baby wave back at me. Representing that he was waving FOR the dog.

Now, instead, he is waving back at me, while I do cutesy waves at his dog. But for anyone passing by, for anyone who just walked by and has no context, they’re just going to see two full-grown adults standing on opposite sides of the road waving at each other… and ONE OF THEM is doing cutesy baby waves… and that one is ME.

So, do you see how his lack of understanding or lack of practice with the correct rules to waving to pets made both of us look silly… especially me?

So, do yourself a favor… learn the rules. Practice good form. Be aware of the situations and how to navigate them. If you don’t, you can easily turn a cute situation into a horrid one. Because people did walk by during this fiasco. They did see a man waving to me and they did see me waving in return… with my baby-alligator, tongue-clicking wave. I would never wave to a human being over the age of 18 months in such a way.

That’s a baby wave. That’s an animal wave. And now people will think I wave to full-grown adults in this manner. And THAT is just unacceptable.


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About the Creator

Stephen Kramer Avitabile

I'm a creative writer in the way that I write. I hold the pen in this unique and creative way you've never seen. The content which I write... well, it's still to be determined if that's any good.

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Comments (18)

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  • Cathy holmes4 months ago

    Omg. You had me doing the cutsey little alligator dog wave. Well played. Lol

  • Ruth Stewart4 months ago

    This is very funny, because it's true. The man could have also kept his arm.near his chest and flapped his hand, simulating a small dog wave. You are right, he needs to get up to date on etiquette. I bet he doesn't even sing to his dogs! Rubbish.

  • Sandra Tena Cole4 months ago

    This was such an incredibly fun read!! 😂😂 A very well-deserved Top Story!! ❣️

  • Heather Hubler4 months ago

    LOL, that was so great!! I could picture the whole thing. Wonderful storytelling and congratulations on Top Story :)

  • Not me following your step by step instruction trying to attempt your baby wave 🤣🤣🤣 LOL LOL LOL he waved back at you! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Oh and congratulations on your Top Story!

  • Congratulations on your Top Story❤️‍🔥📝💯😉🏆🎉❗

  • Dana Stewart4 months ago

    I knew I liked you! I can get on board with cutesy doggy waves! Congratulations on Top Story! 🐾

  • A. Lenae4 months ago

    Wow, what an accurate and vulnerable piece. This isn't talked about enough! Also, your descriptions of the wave were so precise that I was able to act them out like I was an alien at a dog park, and it felt really important. Well done!

  • Babs Iverson4 months ago

    Yeah! Top Story Congratulations to you on this humerous tale!!!!❤️❤️💕

  • Real Poetic4 months ago

    Congratulations on top story !!! 🎉🎉 I knew this was coming. You deserve it. This piece is incredible. Well deserved.

  • ARC4 months ago

    🤣 Dying. This was absolutely hysterical and SO. BLOODY. RIGHT. Well done, Stephen, amazing work. You have a new subscriber and I can’t wait to read more 👏

  • Dana Crandell4 months ago

    Congratulations on Top Story, by the way!

  • Dana Crandell4 months ago

    I got a good chuckle out of this one, and now I have the strangest urge to do shadow pictures. Great job!

  • Delightful. I give you 5 out of 5 "gootchie goos".

  • This made me laugh. Nice and so well done.

  • Jay Kantor4 months ago

    Hi SK ~ Ah, Talking to Dogs and Flowers ~ who doesn't talk back? Please take a moment to view my 'Rescue' - For Pet Haven Minnesota - They have kids-reading-classes speaking to dogs - How cool is that - Thanks for the smile - Fun: Can't quite tell if your Little Dog is smiling...Hmm - JK

  • That is funny. I can just visualize a grown man on the street waving to another man making clicking sounds and doing a silly little baby wave. Good story!!!

  • Real Poetic4 months ago

    This is so funny and a new topic! Great job Stephen.

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