Not~Expected

Don't those things have G.P.S.? I don't know what you're so huffy about, Mr. Alien Space Ship Pilot, with your hands on your Hips-'Tude. I can't help it that you steered to the Wrong Planet - You see any 'Glitter' here ~ This isn't HollyWeird..!

THE BIRD WATCHER

~ Audubon Certified Tally Counter ~

'Robin' (not her real name) was taking photos capturing Red-Head-Wood-Peckers hammering away at the horse-posts. I said, "Can’t imagine their headaches."

She laughed!

Then I noticed the worn badge on her very old 'Nikon' camera, and I broke out in a chorus of 'Kodachrome' (by Paul Simon)...She said, "as a matter of fact, I happen to be a recently retired high school music teacher."

So, I said, "Well, how'd I do?"

Ms. Robin said, "I'd probably ask you to Drop-The-Class!"

Pecker Power HeadAches — I do think many of us should practice head-hammering - knock the sense right back into us..!

As a professional 'Schlepper' (Salesman) who Moves his Products as Mom's Schlep the Kids. As a Salesman, it was always essential to first 'Observe' (evaluate) how best to approach a prospect—this obviously has carried into my personal 'Encounters'.

For Instance ~ Always Expect the Unexpected ~

The shiniest big-black-Tesla pulled up to me at the grocery pickup; I gave him a thumbs-up. He quickly acknowledged that "it's the best car he's ever had!"

And, of course, I had to say "Why?" He said, SIMPLY, "all he has to do is get in and set the AUTO-DRIVE and he's on his way."

Once again, I HAD to comment: "You mean that this inanimate metal object - 'IT' - can tell you by observing, even through blackout windows, what may be going on inside the driverless car next to you - everything BUT driving, such as: Smoking Pot or whoever is fiddling around with whom inside.

He said, again, SIMPLY – "Yes, 'IT' can!"

Observed a guy parking by me. He had the biggest Schlong-Schlinging new Cadillac I ever saw; barely got its Tuchus into the parking stall. So, I said,"Ah, back to American Cars!" Smiling, he glanced at my German-Car and said, "Well that's {1} of us!"

As I pulled into the parking lot, I happened to notice a man (our age) with his feet hanging/dangling out of the open door of his brand-new car (it still had dealer tags on it) while taking long drags on a cigarette. I couldn't resist making a comment. I said, "THAT must be your wife's car? This way you're only getting 1/2 of the smoke wafting through that new car smell – Coulda Fooled ME!"

He laughed and said, "YOU NOTICED!"

So, as he was puffing, about (2) parking spaces away from my nose, I asked him, "So, how much do those cost these days?" He told me (+tax) down to the penny. He said he knows this since he does the pricing as the manager of a 'Rite-Aid' store in Simi-Valley.

I said, "I've been hearing about a lot of shoplifting at retail stores, what's that about?" Instantly, he said "we aren't even allowed to approach them."

"But, don't you have guards and security cameras?" Looking straight at me he said, "Of course, but they are only allowed to ask 'Smokers' to leave the store, nothing more."

Mostly 'ODD' to me was his it iz what it iz - matter-of-fact demeanor. So, there you are!

Spotted: Customized truck flatbed, with the 'Carvana' logo slathered all over it, dropping a 'nondescript' gray sedan into our neighborhood. Can't imagine buying a new car like that. 'Carvana' – How Impersonal NO proud Vanity Tags here! Cars have lost their 'Personal' identity, and with that a lot of charm-pride that goes with owning that special one. I suppose everything is leased these days anyway.

— Where's the fun in that? —

Sure, things change. But how could you buy a new car online that's dropped off in your driveway? I can't imagine ever doing anything like that as a self-respecting former 'Gearhead.' No matter what, we'd have to kick the tires and pound on the fender; at least take a big whiff of the new car smell! And, of course, a test drive with the salesman holding on for dear life as I sped through the streets – just checking it out.

Now, which of you admits to having a 'favorite' Unexplainable Encounter, we've all had them..!

Jay Kantor, Chatsworth, California

'Senior' Vocal Author - Vocal Village Community -