Latest Stories
Most recently published stories in Humor.
Catching Language
Evelyn works primarily on the third floor that has grey walls and she runs the necessary items up to her boss. She picks the perfectly manicured laundry and strolls to the elevator. When she arrives at the fifth floor, she is greeted with bright orange walls. She presses the bell on the white empty desk.
By Lisa Pulliamabout a year ago in Humor
Party Foul. Top Story - March 2025.
“Who is this person again?” I calmly asked as I adjusted my unruly boxers for the twentieth time. “A friend from college, I told you, a sorority sister. We went to their wedding, remember? The one in Italy?” Of course, how could I forget? Star-crossed lovers from the Midwest opted out of a thirty-minute drive to their local church so they could force three hundred people to buy a 1500-dollar plane ticket, yeah I remember. “And Jason remember, her husband, you and him hit it off?” We in fact did not hit it off. I clocked Jason from a mile away, slick-backed hair, Oakleys hanging from his pastel color shirt. Speaking with him only affirmed my assumptions: trust fund baby with a high seat at his daddy's company table. I was shocked he could even talk with that silver spoon in his mouth.
By James U. Rizziabout a year ago in Humor
SALT
Introduction Charlie Solevar, a man in his early 30s, returns to Salt Lake City after deployment to settle the affairs of his recently deceased paternal grandmother. He comes back to the apartment where he grew up, haunted by a flood of unresolved memories and the lingering absence of his mother, Birdie, who disappeared when he was twelve. Grief-stricken and grappling with an emotional void, Charlie spirals into a strange twilight state, convinced that the universe is trying to communicate with him through the remaining letters in expired cans of alphabet soup.
By Salomé Saffiriabout a year ago in Humor
The Great Grocery Escapade: When Shopping Becomes an Absurdist Adventure
Imagine stepping into your local grocery store, expecting nothing more than a routine shopping trip, only to find yourself caught in an epic saga where the tomatoes convene for secret council meetings to plot world domination, the self-checkout machines develop existential crises and start questioning the meaning of their existence, and the janitor, of all people, moonlights as a time-traveling philosopher—offering unsolicited lectures on the nature of time while subtly guiding your choices. Sounds ridiculous? Welcome to the world of the absurd, where even the most mundane moments become mind-bending odysseys, and reality is a mercurial, fleeting thing that laughs in the face of expectation.
By Alain SUPPINIabout a year ago in Humor
A coffee nightmare!. Top Story - March 2025.
"Where, What, Why are my pants running away!" "No, No, I don't want you to follow!" I held the rest of my clothes tightly and squeezed under the bed after I fell to the ground to see if anyone was around. I held my breath in flight and fight mode but couldn't see anyone.
By Parvathi Jabout a year ago in Humor
Sundials and Eggtimers
To the readers. This story was indeed a challenge. The writing style is complicated and with an infusion of absurdity, unexpected humor, and twist, this one got my *hit in a knot. So yes, there is mild swearing and general confusion. But it's how we learn and Improve our writing. Writing is an art, an abstract art, and will convey several interpretations for the reader, peers and judges. Thanks for making this opportunity available for my attempt at finishing before the cut off. (Car horn blasting in the background) What, I just fell asleep! No way it's morning already! What the bloody hell! Damn im so tired. Damn work, seems like I just finished and then right back at it. I'm not sure if I need another job or vacation.(Cursing myself aloud). Hey Jimmy!! Come on! Let's go or we will be late for work! Yeah yeah Mikey! Hey Mikey, does it not seem like we just came back from work? Honestly I'm so bloody tired man. Man, it feels like I'm in that damn parallel paradigm! Ha, Jimmy, knock off that shit, you should have had lots of rest, today's Monday. Ha Ha. Come on, pitter patter, let's get at her. Fuck sakes Mikey, I must have fell asleep watching the Matrix. The tape must of kept looping. Honestly Jimmy, maybe it's time to set your alarm clock for a change and check out of the paradigm matrix parallel, ha ha. Sure Mikey, says the guy that uses Sundials and Egg timers, lol. Don't knock what you don't know Jimmy. One day your words will fuck you up. Bahaha. Alright, alright, alright let's go to the shit show Mikey. Jimmy, one shit show coming up. The sign reads "Sit with Us, Your Shit is our business" You know Mikey, your shit is really starting to smell bad, which makes this daily job that seems to last like a full on constipation episode from a sad soul that's dehydrated and sustained themselves on peanuts! Lmao Your a funny guy Jimmy, but this shit ain't gonna get done by itself. Hold on, I just put in a 4 hour shift with you so far. So you say Jimmy, but look at the clock. Damn, man. This is another Neverending day. Jimmy, did you ever think.you would be in the parallel paradigm? You know, when someone hacks your sleep and your nano implants don't know any different? Excuse me Mikey, but what the fuck are you trying to tell me? Oh, wait, bad shit happens to the unsuspected? Or maybe instead of cleaning outhouses, we are funneling methane to gaslight the construction works for more production, less pay, more hours and no weekends!? Fuck Mikey, settle the hell down.( As Mikey spits out his coffee just like a straight shot of projectile diarrhea.) Knock it off Jimmy, you know as well as I that we we just drop the Johnny's and the Jennies at the construction sites. I know. I know Mikey. But my days are running long. I always wonder about these crazy theories of time loops, lapses and even collapses. Jimmy, it's going to be payday soon, so relax and don't get your shit in a knot. Just set your alarm and ditch the matrix for maybe, I dunno, Dr. Who! Haha, that was definitely called for Jimmy! See you tomorrow Jimmy. Yeah, see you tomorrow Mikey. Now hear is where I am confused. Mikey, just before pulling away, flipped his silly egg timer. At that moment, I nearly shat my pants. I bolted to my garden and looked over at my sundial. I was in awe. My sundial had overgrowth. I Cleared the overgrowth and started to yell and curse kinda like a constipated soul that was silly enough to did for 18 hours on the toilet and still not shit. I caregully realigned my sundial,went in the house, ate showered and changed, and walked out the front door. Perfect timing I mused, Mikey, pulled up and yelled out the window," Cmon Jimmy boy". "Pay Day" today. Yeah Mikey! Friday couldn't come soon enough. The queen shits today!, and so do do our clients. Lol. That was a big week for us Jimmy. Yeah Mikey, it was. And a good suggestion to watch something else. Watched Peter Pan actually. Mikey stammrred "Eh, Jimmy isn't that based on someone loosing their marbles?" Yeah it was Mikey! So Jimmy, do you want uo play some poker with your digital serial numbers on your check? Sure Mikey, let's go all in blind? Oh, Jimmy, remember the shit luck you have eh? Actually I meant you could probably use do.e shot luck yoday. lol I'm going to back up my bet today! Sounds like your getting constipated? No chance Mikey. Well. Readers, I'm sure you all knew how this turned out. This game was tense. But after Jimmie showed his hand, Mikey was distraught, he lost his shit, just outside of the shop under the sign."Sit with Us Your Shit Is Our Business". Mikey then asked "how?" Jimmy replied "The sun always shines Mikey". And just after that statrment, Mikey lost his shit, he grabbed his chest, and murmured " Fuckin Sun Dial, you found the overgrowth, eh Jimmy?" I Did Mikey, and today you work for me" And as soon as Jimmy ended his gloating, he grabbed the chest pocket knce more and flipped his egg timer. (Car horn blasting in the background) What, I just fell asleep! No way it's morning already! What the bloody hell! Damn im so tired. Damn work, seems like I just finished and then right back at it. I'm not sure if I need another job or vacation.(Cursing myself aloud).
By Vinn Blackabout a year ago in Humor
Tom's Trojan Paste. Runner-Up in Absurdist Awakening Challenge.
I switched toothpastes when the conspiracy theories finally got to me. Patty Lovarco, my seventh grade science teacher, was the first to warn me about the toxic effects of fluoride. Since then, I had done a bit of research, and searched my soul for an answer to the question: "Would my own government really do that to me?"
By A. S. Lawrenceabout a year ago in Humor
