I Quit Murdering People for 7 Days. Here’s What Happened.

My love-hate relationship with homicide has always been complicated. The late nights spent disposing of evidence, the constant stream of alibis. It was exhausting, both physically and emotionally.

So I stopped. I quit with any form of murder for a week — not even a quick, harmless poisoning of a stranger’s coffee. It was time for a change, a pivot toward a healthier, more sustainable lifestyle.

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Here’s what I learned.

Murder is a tool

During my murder-free week, I came to understand that I’m not defined by who or even how many people I’ve killed. There are many legitimate reasons to end someone’s life, but far too often I’ve mindlessly eliminated people whose disappearances didn’t even matter.

Before reaching for a weapon, it’s important to evaluate a victim’s significance. A well-thought-out hit is far more satisfying than a hasty, impulsive one.

If this was the last victim you could ever eliminate, would you choose this person?

Be present in the moment

Being mindful of the precise movements of my blade has given me a heightened sensitivity to the emotions victims experience. By immersing myself in the moment, I’ve learned to empathize with the fear, confusion, and acceptance these souls feel in their final hour.

It’s not about reveling in their suffering, but acknowledging the humanity that exists in the act of taking a life. It has grounded me in the reality of the present, instilling a sense of responsibility and empathy that transcends the act of killing.

Dispose thoughtfully

The vast majority of single-use body bags are made from non-biodegradable plastics, contributing to the accumulation of waste in landfills, oceans, and other ecosystems.

Paper bags frequently leak, tear, and break. Although water-resistant paper isn’t nearly as effective as plastic, I’m learning to improvise.

I’m currently experimenting with composting — turning remains into nutrient-rich soil for my garden. Not only am I reducing my carbon footprint, but my tomatoes have never looked better.

Mental health comes first

Some well-intentioned individuals insist murder will always lead to disastrous consequences. Permanently retiring your fishing wire might work for some — but for many, going cold turkey is unrealistic.

If you can’t imagine life without homicide, you’re not alone. As long as you know your limits and draw clear boundaries, you can always explore and find a routine that works for you.

Try setting a schedule that allows for designated “murder days” and “non-murder days.” This helps you manage your time effectively and prevents burnout. It’s crucial to strike a balance between your passion for killing and other responsibilities, like paying bills and watering your plants.

Be intentional

If killing people is an important part of your life, it’s crucial to embrace it with a sense of responsibility and mindfulness. Finding the right balance and continually refining your approach might not come naturally, but it’s completely possible to build a lifestyle that aligns with your murderous inclinations without spiraling into chaos.

Be intentional with each homicide you commit. A purpose-driven life isn't about doing more. It's about doing what matters, and letting go of the rest. For me, that means fewer, better murders. Each one is chosen with intention, not convenience. When your actions reflect your deeper values, it stops feeling like a compulsion and starts feeling like a calling.

There’s nothing wrong with killing people — the real problem is when a quick coffee break turns into a spontaneous crime scene. The next time you find yourself about to strangle the unsuspecting barista who can’t seem to get anyone’s order right, ask yourself if this particular act aligns with your overall life purpose. Pause, reflect, and make each murder count.

Control your body count. Don’t let it control you.