High Noon At The Intersection of Oh My God

We all know that it was hot, like hotter than we wanted on Monday. It'd been hot all weekend, and the heat was brutally unrelenting for far too long. But it gets that way, sometimes. Sometimes, it gets so hot that the air is harder to breathe, and it gets unbearable. So, what is one to do?

Last Saturday, it felt like it was as hot as the 8th circle of hell. People were showing they could cook an egg on the sidewalks. But life, it did go on. So what kind of things do people do when it gets this hot?

Well, some people stop to visit their friends in air-conditioned homes and local businesses. And why not? People like to be social, even when they're past their deodorants working, and their stench rivals a hog confinement farm. For those of you who live in the country or rural areas, you understand what I'm saying.

You'll never see more people standing around, covered in sweat, than during one of the profound heat bubbles that just passed through the central United States. It's a sight to behold. It reminds me of some of the stories from the Diddy parties. As you might have guessed, I stopped at one of those places where the heat was escapable, and people didn't realize the heat had permeated their souls.

As I was standing around, shooting the bull with some of the patrons, waiting in line for one of the register workers, one of the 80-year-old men who frequents the place told one of those jokes that even in the 60s wasn't appropriate, even though a crowd laughed.

You notice that people don't do well in the heat. Their judgment is affected, and their heads are in a fog. Guys all think they're ten feet tall and bulletproof; their emotions get so out of control. That's usually when you'll see guys acting like they're still in shape enough to rock a shirtless look in public. Not that I am, but some guys are further detached from the gym than I've ever been.

And we all get the lengths we'll go through to feel comfortable. Buying special shirts, wearing lighter and fewer clothes, and drinking extra fluids to stay hydrated. All of that was supposed to help. It doesn't always, however, and some people forget to keep it classy when they're faced with rougher days due to weather issues.

One of our locals took the need to cool off to heart. It was a return to the days of the 1970s as he strolled along one of the busiest intersections in town. This old boy was seriously hot and decided to get rid of his shirt. Have you ever heard of giving the shirt off your back? Well, some people don't stop there in the heat.

Do you see the tattoo shop in the distance? He was walking over there, and likely was going to get some work done. Tattooing is a serious art. But sometimes, it serves to cover things up. And most of the people who saw this character wanted him to cover up.

So, maybe he was getting a penis tattoo, like the one from Down Periscope. Kelsey Grammer's captain had a tattoo on his junk that read, "Welcome Aboard."

Getting an all-over-the-body tattoo is unlikely. He doesn't appear to have his wallet in his hand. And without a wallet, I'm sure he couldn't get a cab.

What people do to keep cool in the heat is sometimes beyond belief, and this guy, while crossing the lines of socially acceptable behavior, was likely more comfortable than anyone in the hole dammed town who had to go outside that day.