A Chronicle of Cats

You have arrived at a funny-cats compilation. I've been around cats ever since I was little. I've accumulated stories and scars. I actually caught cat scratch fever when I was in the first or second grade because a kitten decided I deserved to be scratched up since I wanted to keep it from getting close to a road. But what can you do?

So, first, have you seen the video of a rather large cat almost falling off a bridge or dock into water? If not, here it is.

I have witnessed something similar when I was fishing with my boyfriend on the dock at his pond, only with not such a water-free ending. His family's cats had wandered down with us. Banes (pronounced Bay-knees) was laying on his side, letting me pet him. He did the cat-roll thing and, not realizing he was on the edge of the dock, flopped right into the water. He quickly climbed back out, his tail drenched and drooping, leaving little splatters all over the dock and a line of water trailing after him in his walk of shame. He was very unhappy.

My boyfriend and I did not respect Banes's dignity. We laughed.

Speaking of rather large cats, though, I need to address a beast of old (born 2015).

He was once a ferocious and prolific tomcat, struck down in his prime by a vet, the need for my family to not have more kittens around the house, and for him to stop territorially marking EVERYTHING: Loki.

Loki is now an overweight lap cat. He is, usually, a very good boy.

But, Loki was not alone in adding to the cat population centered around our house. He, and the other not-our-tomcats in the neighborhood, had an accomplice.

This is Mama Cat.

She was not our cat. She suddenly spawned at our house and then continued spawning more cats. She decided to move her kittens into our basement (twice, with two separate litters).

She also had very quirky babies.

Some of her babies were and are pretty friendly.

This kitten of hers was and is not.

This kitten is now a cat (fixed, like Mama Cat is as well as her other grown female kitten, Ragamuffin). She still has not decided whether or not she likes attention.

Ragamuffin, on the other hand, does like attention. She’s a fairly skittish cat around strangers, but when she’s comfortable, she loves pets.

She begs for them.

And if one paw does not get her the attention she wants (and deserves, of course) then this happens.

The other thing about Ragamuffin: she is very territorial.

This was a problem for Dear.

Dear, like Mama Cat, was not our cat. He wandered up and we started feeding him. When he first came to us last year, we felt so sorry for him. He had part of his ear missing and all the other cats would run him off.

Ragamuffin was one of the worst offenders.

Because he was beleaguered by the other cats (and because he’s so stinkin’ cute), I gave Dear privileges the other cats do not have.

Dear gets to come inside the house every once in a while.

Only, he now thinks whenever a door opens he has been invited in.

He’s grown up while he has been with my family. He had the cutest red armpits that have since disappeared.

But he’s also grown bold.

I’ve seen the other cats swat at Dear and chase him. Last week, however, he was hyped up and apparently feeling brave. In completely open yard, he flattened himself and turned his sights on Ragamuffin (who was innocent, for once, just playing with a clump of grass).

Boom. He charged at her.

She did not appreciate the joke. Her tail fluffed up so much.

Thankfully, she was merciful and did not show Dear her wrath.

This time, at least.

She is, after all, a moody cat like her fellows around our house.

Their services for my family’s laughs are deeply appreciated and rewarded by my grandmother fixing them breakfast, lunch, and dinner (dry cat food topped with shredded turkey or chicken wet cat food because they snub their noses at pate and fish). Hopefully, they’ve brought a little silliness and charm to your day too!