Would you trust a transgender woman in the bathroom with your daughter?

You know the meme. The transgender woman with hair and makeup askew, captioned to ask if we would trust "him" with our children in a public restroom. It's meant to refer to the trans community as predatory people who endanger children wherever they go. It's meant to place fear and doubt on the good intentions of any trans individuals. It wants you to feel like a bad parent if you support trans rights. It's meant to portray transgender women as unkempt and 'manly.'

I've made this in time for pride month to recognize a few key talking points, and I hope you'll hear me out.

Boys' self-image

When we teach our children that trans women are predators because they are biologically a male, we're teaching them that having a penis is what makes them bad. Boys have enough pressure to grow up in a society that expects them to be masculine and strong. When we teach them that having a penis is bad, we've altered their perceptions of who they are as a person. You're also taking a side of saying it's more acceptable for someone you think is a predator to be around your son, but not your daughter.

Trans Identity vs Pedophilia

We have to learn to differentiate here, and for so many reasons. For the sake of those who may not know or have never cared to learn, trans identity is how you identify yourself. This can include a scope of gender (male to female/female to male), pronouns, and more. Just know that it, at its essence, hurts not a single soul.

Pedophilia, on the other hand, is a sexual attraction to children. This gets further broken down into subcategories for age preference and offending or non-offending. These are the ones you need to be worried about having around your children.

Also, pedophiles hide their intentions. Trans people live by their identity.

a side rant. . .

Continuing on the subject of confusing trans women with pedophiles, this next part cuts into my personal life. As a member of the LGBTQ+ community myself, we all have our own sexual preferences, and we're not sexual deviants who want everyone. We don't want everyone of our preferred sexual orientation. We have types just like everybody else. Pushing the wrong definitions and stereotypes on us pushes us further away from being understood than ever. I do not support pedophilia. I do support trans identity. They're completely different groups. Once it's in the minds of the more conservative people on the subject of sexual orientation that trans = pedophile when it doesn't, they slowly start to believe we're all attracted to children because we fall under LGBTQ+. Imagine what you do when you tell people that someone else is a pedophile when they're not. Regardless of who you tell, that is the point when lives are ruined. Nobody wants to hire or keep someone on payroll if they believe you're a pedophile.

I hate to break it to you, but gay people still pee. We are there to do our business and to leave. Therefore, just let us do that. Also, what if you're wrong? What if you harass someone for being a 'man' (trans woman in reality) but you find out it's a cis woman who didn't look how you wanted her to? You've now nearly made someone prove they owned a vagina to satisfy your personal beliefs. Please keep your hands, feet, and opinions to yourself when people walk into the bathroom. You are not the potty police.

Pretty People

Let's talk about another reason the meme is misleading. It's centered around someone society would consider to be conventionally unattractive. You're asking your friends, "Would you let your kid go to the bathroom with this and trust them to be ok?"

The answer is no, but not for the reasons you think.

We cannot teach our children that pretty people are automatically trustworthy or our friends. You are putting a mental image in your children and friends' heads that ugly is synonymous with offender and pretty is synonymous with trusted. This is one of the most harmful lessons you could teach. Offenders are typically use charm to lure in their victims. They're cunning and like mentioned earlier when we defined pedophilia, they hide who they are.

Assault Statistics

50% of trans identifying men and women are victims of sexual or physical assault themselves. The statistics go up when looking at marginalized and low income groups of trans individuals. You can read more about that here.

Once every 9 minutes a child is assaulted. It's almost overwhelmingly a problem that starts at home. Children are far more likely to become victims of a family member, friend, or acquaintance.

Of sexual abuse cases reported to law enforcement, 93% of juvenile victims knew the perpetrator:

1. 59% were acquaintances
2. 34% were family members
3. 7% were strangers to the victim

Once again, these statistics point back to the indication that 'normal' is trustworthy. We see our family and family friends as normal people. However, the conversation we really need to have is about talking to your kids about safety involving anybody we may suspect, pretty people too.

With all of this being said, abuse is still a real problem and should not be ignored no matter what. Never trust anyone with your child as much as you trust yourself, no matter who they are. Talk to your kids about trust and appropriate interactions with adults vs inappropriate interactions. It's not a comfortable topic, but it's a necessary one. Try asking these questions in situations that you deem uncomfortable after entrusting your child with someone new:

1. Did you have fun at (family member/friend)'s house? What did you do?
2. Did anybody else come over while you were there?
3. Did you go anywhere?
4. Who did you play with?

Encouraging dialog between yourself and your child provides an open stream of communication just in case they are ever put into a situation that made them feel uncomfortable.

In conclusion, trust your child with nobody completely. Pretty does not mean trustworthy. Family/friend does not mean trustworthy. No, we wouldn't trust a trans woman or ANYONE else with our child in a public restroom.